Sunday Night Heatz!!1 - May 17, 2009

Sunday Night Heatz!!1
May 17th, 2009


Relegate Hunter V. SuperSmark

The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a 20-minute time limit

(Smile Like You Mean It)
Introducing first, from Brighton, England and weighing 190 pounds, RELEGATE HUNTERS!

(Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap)
And his opponent, from Ann Arbor, Michigan, weighing in at 220 pounds, SUPERSMARK!

- The two lock up and SuperSmark drives Hunters into the corner. He motions for a clean break, but hits a cheat shop slap which riles up his opponent. Hunters charges out with a clothesline, and hits a deep armdrag. Smark breaks free, but Hunters send him to the outside following a headscissor takedown.

- Smark tries to regroup on the outside, but is hit with a pescado. Hunters drops Smark on the apron face first and rolls him back into the ring. He attempts to end it early with the Relegation (Lionsault), but Smark rolls out of the way.

- Smark takes over with a series of elbowdrops, followed by a knee drop off the top which gets a 2 count. Smark drops Hunters with a DDT, and locks in a Sharpshooter. Eventually, Hunters fights his way to the ropes. The referee forces Smark off of hios opponent, and Hunters tries to take advantage with a quick inside cradle, which gets 2. Smark responds by knocking down Hunters with a clothesline.

- Smark motions for The Crash, but Hunters fights out of it with elbow strikes to the head. Hunters hits a springboard crossbody, but Smark rolls through it for another near-fall. Smark complains vehemently to the referee, but turns around and eats a missile dropkick, followed by a running senton.

- Smark ducks a clothesline attempt, and tries for The Download, but Hunters escapes and hits a Sliced Bread #2, followed by a successful Relegation attempt, which earns him a three count.

Here is your winner and still undefeated...RELEGATE HUNTERS!

- As Hunters celebrates with the fans around ringside, SuperSmark looks out with rage etched all over his face.


*Brahma Bull is seen backstage*

Tonight begins my quest to conquer WWCF. stevierichardsfan Babyface be prepared to be amazed by "The Amazing" Brahma Bull.


Stevierichardsfan Babyface V. Brahma Bull

*Leave the Memories Alone*
The following contest is set for one fall, with a 15 minute time limit! Introducing first, being accompanied by Eli. From USA, weighing in at 225 pounds, Stevierichardsfan Babyface!
*Never Gonna Give You Up*
And his opponent, from Glasgow, Scotland, weighing in at 219 pounds, Brahma Bull!

Bull and Stevie lock up mid ring. Stevie applies a hammerlock, which Bull easily counters out of. Bull sweeps the leg, followed by an elbow drop and a 1-count. Bull challenges Stevie to apply a headlock, and Stevie complies. Bull easily escapes, and applies a hammerlock. Stevie breaks out, but Bull floors him with a clothesline. Cover.
1
Kickout.
Bull locks on a half nelson, and begins laying into Stevie with some elbow shots, before transitioning into a headlock. Stevie rolls Bull over for a 1-count, before Bull rolls right back into the headlock. Eli begins pounding on the ring apron, trying to rally the crowd behind Stevie. Stevie muscles out of the headlock, and catches Bull with a slam. Cover, but only a 1-count. Stevie follows up with a suplex, for another 1-count. Bull fights back with a series of punches, but Stevie shrugs it off and hit’s a neck breaker. Cover.
1
2
Kickout.
Stevie waits patiently for Bull to stand up, and locks in the Sleeper Hold! Bull struggles in the hold, until the ref checks his arm. Bull resists, and “accidentally” shoves the ref back. With the ref out of position, Bull kicks Stevie low, and hit’s the Pedigree. With Stevie down, Bull locks in the Sharpshooter. Stevie taps out.

Here is your winner, Brahma Bull!


Heatz!!1 Championship Match: Legion V. Viva Los Bio Dome [c]

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall, with a 20 minute time limit. And it is for the Heatz!!1 Championship!
*Mordicai’s theme*
Introducing first, the challenger. From The Darkness Within You All, weighing in at 253 pounds, LEGION!!!
*The Safety Dance*
And his opponent. From Hayward, California, weighing in at 195 pounds. He is the Heatz!!1 Champion! VIVA LOS BIO DOME!!!!

Viva starts off with a ridiculous dance. Legion just stares, until Viva suddenly jabs him in the eye. Viva follows up immediately with a scoop slam, followed by a standing frog splash. Viva goes for the cover, but only get’s a 1-count out of the deal. Viva pulls Legion to his feet, only for Legion to grab Viva by the throat and hit a big choke slam. Cover.
1
2
Kickout.
Legion stays on Viva, pulling him up and hitting a diving European uppercut. Legion follows this with a shoulder breaker, and a cover.
1
2
Kickout.
Legion sends Viva into the ropes, and catches him on the rebound with a back body drop. Cover.
1
2
Kickout.
Legion whips Viva into the ropes again, connecting with a big boot this time. Cover.
1
2
Kickout.
Legion pulls Viva up again, but this time Viva tries to fight back, surprising Legion with a DDT. As both men lay on the mat, the referee begins his count.
1
2
3
4
Both men are beginning to stir.
5
6
Viva’s crawling towards the ropes.
7
Legion’s starting to pull himself up.
8
Viva’s pulling himself up, and both men are on their feet. They begin exchanging punches, with Legion overwhelming the champion. Legion tosses Viva into the corner, and follows up with a running clothesline in the corner. He pulls Viva out of the corner, and hit’s an over-the-shoulder reverse piledriver. Viva is out! Cover!
1!
2!
KICKOUT!!!
Legion can’t believe it! Frustrated, the challenger begins laying in with stomps, before mounting Viva, and raining down on him with punches and head butts. Viva tries to cover up, But to no avail. Legion pulls Viva to his feet, and taunts him, before going for the Fall From Grace. However, as he lifts Viva up, Viva catches him off guard with a roll up!
1!
2!
KICKOUT!!!
Legion is on his feet immediately, as is Viva! Viva charges Legion, who back body drops the Champion, but Viva lands on his feet, and spins Legion around, and nails him with a jab! Viva nails a second jab! And a third! Then a fourth! Viva stops, and does a silly little dance, mocking Legion, before going for a final pun-LEGION BLOCKS THE PUNCH!!! Legion bends Viva’s hand back, causing him to cry out in pain. Legion lets go of Viva’s hand, only for Viva to nail the Purple Sticky Punch with the other hand! Cover!
1!
2!
KICKOUT!!!
Viva screams, unable to believe Legion kicked out of that! Viva starts choking Legion. The referee orders Viva to stop, and begins the 5 count.
1
2
3
4
Viva breaks the choke. He starts slamming Legion’s head against the mat, then stands up and taunts the crowd with a Pauly Shore-type dance. Suddenly, the crowd begins cheering loudly, and Viva looks confused, but not for long, as Legion grabs the Champion from behind and hit’s a spinning neck breaker! The crowd is on their feet, as Legion makes the cover.
1!
2!
The bell rings.
Legion, the referee, and the crowd, are all confused, as Michael Muffer stands up to make the announcement.

Ladies and gentlemen, the time limit has expired! The match ends in a draw. Therefore, STILL Heatz!!1 Champion, VIVA LOS BIO DOME!!!

The crowd vocalizes their displeasure, as Legion argues with the referee. Viva, barely conscious, rolls to the outside, where Michael Muffer hands him his belt. Viva collapses in a heap on the floor. Legion rolls to the outside, and goes after Viva again, but the referee pulls him off. Viva quickly heads up the ramp, with Legion staring after him angrily, as Heatz!!1 comes to an end.


Match writing credits: Headbanger Man and Evil M, w/ promo by Brahma Bull

Monday Niteraw - May 11, 2009

Monday NiteRaw
May 11th, 2009


Gorilla Tim Hoss: Welcome to WWCF Monday NiteRaw! I’m Gorilla Tim Hoss, and with me, as always, the incomparable Jesse King!

Jesse King: Gorilla, tonight is going to be huge! We have the contract signing between the Champion of Honor Seth Drakin and the WWCF World Heavyweight Champion, LittleNaitch! I can’t wait for that!

Gorilla: Also, we have a cage match between Corporate member M.O.P. and Story member Aaron Enigma. This rivalry between the Story and Corporate goes to whole new level tonight!

Jesse: And our main event tonight is a tag team encounter between Story members Above Average and Motor-Colt, and Corporate members The Non-American Heroes, Starshine and Square! I can’t wait!

Gorilla: Well, let’s go to the ring, for our opening contest, grbjazzman V. a mystery opponent, as chosen by KGX!


grbjazzman V. an opponent to announced by KGX

Michael Muffer: Ladies and Gentleman, our opening contest tonight on Nite-Raw is the first 'Triple R' challenge. Introducing first, from Upstate New York and being accompanied to the ring by KGX... GRBJAZZMAN!

*Jazzman walks to the ring with KGX in tow, talking trash to the fans. The two men enter the ring as KGX takes the Microphone from Muffer*

Now, since this is my challenge I get to pick the rules and the opponent. So this match will be a first blood match and your opponent Jazzman is waiting backstage. This person was one of my hardest opponents to defeat and tonight, it's your job to show no remorse and make that person bleed. So let's go ahead and bring her out!

*Jazzman looks dejectedly at KGX as 'Vermillion' by Slipknot sounds on the loud speakers and Eli comes to the ring.*

The two combatants lock up and Jazzman easily shoves Eli back to the corner. He hits her with a few punches as KGX razzes him from ringside saying 'You're such a bad person, you woman beater!' Jazzman looks at KGX and brings Eli back to the center of the ring and sends her off the ropes and hits her with a Yakuza kick to the face.

The ref checks Eli for blood and she isn't bleeding. Jazzman drops out of the ring and shoves KGX and shouts at him about picking Eli. KGX shoves back while Eli makes it to her feet and hits the ropes inside the ring. She goes for a top rope plancha but KGX catches her. He slams her onto the floor with a Exploder suplex as Jazzman looks on in horror. KGX rolls her back in the ring as yells at Jazzman "This is what no remorse is all about! Go in there and make her bleed!"

Jazzman goes back into the ring and picks up Eli and whips her into the corner to set her up for 'Takin The A Train'. He nails her with it to fully incapacitate her. KGX slides a chair into the ring and Jazzman picks it up with a dejected look on his face. He waits for Eli to make it to her feet before pulling back the chair and waffles her with it. The ref checks to see Eli's face split open as she is bleeding like a faucet as the ref calls for the bell.

Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner... GRBJAZZMAN!

After the match KGX grabs the mic again: Congrats Jazzman, step one is complete. But next week is step two of this challenge; Resourcefulness! You will competing in a 2-1 handicap match again two members of Corporate you are familiar with. Your opponents will be Cthulhu and M.O.P.! Time to face your fears Jazzman... win and we go to the final step, lose and we'll never team again!


Gorilla: Well, Jesse. That had to be one of the more uncomfortable moments I’ve ever been a part of here in WWCF. The fact that KGX would force grbjazzman to fight a woman is simply despicable, And in a First Blood Match no less?! That was reprehensible!

Jesse: Hey Gorilla! Knock off the complaining! Eli knew what she was getting herself into when she signed her contract! So quit your whining and let’s move on!

Gorilla: Ladies and gentlemen, when we return, we have Cthulhu, the Corporate Rocker, taking on SuperSmark!


(We see a desk in an office. The Sam is sitting behind the desk and NAH are sitting in front of it laughing away)
The Sam – Ha ha ha, and so she said “Don’t worry, I’m already a Midget”. Ha ha ha.
(Knock on door)
The Sam – oh, here he is now. Come in.
(enter TTS carrying both Tag Team titles)
TTS – Jah wanted to see aye-en-aye Mon?
The Sam – Yes, take a seat TTS.
(TTS sits between Square and Starshine)
The Sam – TTS, as you know I have newfound powers here in WWCF. And with such powers I have to make tough, tough decisions.
TTS – What ja be talkin’ about Mon?
The Sam – Well TTS, I have some bad news and some good news. First off, the bad news. As you know, your friend Whitey was fired last week. Around the same time I officially took office as WWCF Executive….hmm…how about that? Anyway, the bad news is due to this event, you are no longer the Tag Team Champions. So I must ask for you to hand over those titles.
(TTS looks at the titles and a bit upset, he reluctantly hands over the Tag Team titles to The Sam)
The Sam – But don’t worry TTS, I have some good news that will make you feel better.
TTS – (sniff) I don’t know Mon, I don’t think nothing can cheer me up.
The Sam – Well I’ll try anyway, since you towed the line in your tag match last week. You technically did complete the last task by yourself. So therefore you have passed The Family challenge. Now since The Family has been “expanded” to include the Corporation, and is now called the Corporation, you are now officially a member of Team Corporate. Congratulations.
(The Sam, Square and Starshine golf clap TTS in a patronising way)
TTS – Thanks, but I be missing me gold dat I be won in Babylon.
The Sam – Well…how about…(The Sam reaches underneath his desk and pulls out the Tromboneweight title)…I make you TTS the NEW Tromboneweight champion?
TTS - ….Can I rename the title?
The Sam – Sure, what do you want it to be known as?
TTS – How about……The Montego Bay Alcoholic weight Title?
(The Sam looks at Square and Starshine they shrug their shoulders)
The Sam – umm…sure, you can call it the Albino Bay…something…title?
(TTS jumps up on the desk with glee and hugs The Sam. The Sam pushes TTS off of him)
The Sam – GROSS! I mean…congratulations. Now get out of my office.
(TTS gleefully leaves The Sam’s office with Tromboneweight title in hand)
The Sam – Now onto the WWCF Tag Team titles, seeing as TTS no longer has a tag team partner and since you 2, Square and Starshine were the last 2 men to hold these titles. I now declare you, Square and Starshine, The NEW WWCF Tag Team-
John Amigo – Hold it Sam.
(John. S. Amigo walks into the office)
The Sam – Oh hello Doctor, what the hell are you doing here?
John. S. Amigo – Well Sam, first off, congratulations on selling out. Secondly, I am here to inform you that what you are doing is illegal according to the WWCF by-laws. If I may quote, “No WWCF official may decide a champion. Champions may only be decided in matches within a WWCF sanctioned ring”.
Starshine – So you’re saying we’re not the Tag Team champions?
John Amigo – Precisely.
NAH – ARGH!!!!
The Sam – Wait a minute, the titles can only be decided in a match?
John Amigo – Yes.
The Sam – Well that’s it. At the next PPV, following Survicor Team Challenge, we will have a 4-cornered Tag Team contest to determine the NEW WWCF Tag Team champions. As a WWCF official, I nominate The Non-American Heroes.
John Amigo– Fine, But I get to choose the other 3 tag teams.
The Sam – Fine.
John Amigo – Seeya at the PPV.
(John leaves the office)
Square – Man, I can’t believe we’re not the Tag Team champions yet.
TTS-HA MON


Cthulhu w/ The Sam V. SuperSmark

Tim Hoss - Our next match sees The Corporation's Cthulhu against SuperSmark

Jesse King - I wonder if any of Cthulhu's Corporate buddies will interfere.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall.

AC/DC - Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

Making his way to the ring, from Ann Arbor, Michigan, weighing in at 220 pounds, SuperSmark

As SuperSmark walks to the ring . . .

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann OST- Nikopol

Cthulhu runs up behind SuperSmark and whacks him in the back with his guitar, Cthulhu rolls Smark into the ring and goes for the cover

1

2

SuperSmark kicks out at two, Cthulhu picks Smark up and hits a German suplex, Cthulhu climbs to the top rope to attempt a knee drop, but Smark rolls out of the way before Cthulhu's knee can connect with his throat.

SuperSmark kicks Cthulhu in the stomach several times then applies the figur four leglock on Cthulhu, Cthulhu tries to get to the ropes, but can't quite get there, Cthulhu finally manages to roll over and reverse the move, but Smark gets out quickly.

Smark and Cthulhu exchange blows, Smark attempts a DDT but Cthulhu headbutts Smark in the face and hits the Death Magnetic.

1

2

3

Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner, Cthulhu!

Tim Hoss - Well, Jesse, It looks like Cthulhu won this one without Corporate's help.

Jesse King - Sure, this time, but you know if he needs them, they're ready to help him win.


Gorilla: And Cthulhu picks up an impressive win right here! Now folks, we wanna take you back and show you what happened last week on Heatz!!1 It was the Triathlon, between WWCF Hardcore Champion Evil Masked wordlifeecw, and his future challenger, The Headbanger Man. Both men were very evenly matched throughout the competition, and we entered the deciding contest with the score tied.

Jesse: This was a table breaking contest, where the object was to break as many tables as possible, as creatively as possible. At the end of the time limit, the score was still tied, and was left up to the judges. With The General voting for wordlifeecw, and “Evil La Parka” voting for Headbanger Man, it came down to Jonathan Michaels’ vote.

…..

Headbanger Man.

Gorilla: After that, Headbanger Man added an exclamation point to his victory, by powerbombing the Evil Masked champion through a table.

Jesse: Tonight, the Champion will team with the General of the Monkey Army, and they will take on Headbanger Man and “Evil La Parka”.

Gorilla: And Jonathan Michaels will serve as the special referee. The question is whether or not he can call it down the middle.

*Original Prankster*

Jesse: Well, Gorilla. We won’t have to wait long to find out. Cause here we go!


Evil Masked wordlifeecw and The General of the Monkey Army V. Headbanger Man and “Evil La Parka”
Special Referee: Jonathan Michaels

The following tag team contest is set for one fall, with a 20 minute time limit. Introducing the special referee for this match, Jonathan Michaels!
*La Parka’s WCW Theme*
Introducing first, from Mexico City, Mexico. He weighs in at 225 pounds, “Evil La Parka”!
*We Built This City*
And his partner, from Kent, England. Weighing in at 263 pounds, The Headbanger Man!
*King Kong 2004 Theme*
And their opponents. First, from Lansing, Michigan. Weighing in at 225 pounds, The General of the Monkey Army!
*Opening riff of Kane’s debut theme, followed by AC/DC’s Thunderstruck*
And his partner. He hails from Parts Unknown, Massachusetts, and weighs in at 320 pounds. He is the WWCF Hardcore Champion, and he represents The Story, Evil Masked wordlifeecw!

Jonathan Michaels gives the pre-match instructions, and The General and Headbanger Man start off the match. They trade punches back and forth, with Headbanger Man winning the initial exchange. The General pulls back, and then challenges Headbanger Man to a test of strength. Headbanger Man accepts, and they lock up. Headbanger Man starts to force the General down to the mat, but the General pushes back, and is about to take Headbanger Man down, when La Parka runs in and tackles the General to the mat. Jonathan Michaels admonishes La Parka, and sends him back to his corner. The General and Headbanger Man tie up again. Headbanger Man head butts the General, and follows up with a belly to belly suplex. Cover.
1..
Kickout.
Headbanger Man picks up the General for a power slam, but the General slides free and catches his opponent with a standing clothesline as he turns around. The General tags in wordlifeecw. The Hardcore Champion enters and scoops up Headbanger Man for a slam. Cover.
1..
Kickout.
Headbanger Man rolls to his feet and hit’s a shoulder block on the champion, staggering him. A second shoulder block, and wordlifeecw is off balance. Headbanger Man goes to the top rope and hit’s a flying clothesline, knocking the Hardcore Champion to the mat. Cover.
1
Kickout.
Headbanger Man drags wordlifeecw over to his corner and tags in La Parka. The Luchadore comes over the top rope with a senton splash. He follows up with a couple of stomps in the corner, and finally, a leg drop. Cover.
1
2
Kickout.
La Parka continues to lay into the champion, with kicks and punches, ignoring various warnings from Jonathan Michaels to stop with the fists. As La Parka and Michaels argue, wordlifeecw is able to get the tag, but Michaels doesn’t see it. As he brings the General back to the corner, Headbanger Man and La Parka use the opportunity to double team wordlifeecw. As Michaels turns around, La Parka easily tags Headbanger Man in. Headbanger Man delivers a power slam to wordlifeecw, and covers him.
1
2
Kickout.
Headbanger Man starts head butting the mat in frustration, as La Parks shouts at him to make the tag. La Parka tags in and goes for a running splash, but Evil Masked wordlifeecw rolls out of the way! Jonathan Michaels begins counting.
1
2
3
La Parka starts to stir.
4
5
Wordlifeecw begins crawling towards his corner.
6
7
La Parka is up and makes the tag. Headbanger Man is in, just wordlifeecw get’s the tag to the General! Headbanger Man and the General slug it out in the middle of the ring, as the General sends Headbanger Man to the mat with a monkey toss. La Parka runs in, but the General monkey flips him to the outside. Headbanger Man get’s to his feet, but is met with a huge Monkey Paw! Wordlifeecw tags himself back in, and hit’s a big choke slam on Headbanger Man and makes the cover.
1
2...
La Parka breaks up the count!
The General takes La Parka down to the mat, and locks in the Monkey Wrench, as wordlifeecw hit’s a second choke slam on Headbanger Man for the
1
2
3

Here are your winners, The General of the Monkey Army, and WWCF Hardcore Champion, Evil Masked wordlifeecw!

Jonathan Michaels raises wordlifeecw’s and the General’s hands and walks off, as wordlifeecw celebrates. However, wordlifeecw doesn’t see Headbanger Man roll to the corner and grab a beer bottle. As the Evil One raises the Hardcore Championship high above his head, Headbanger Man nails him from behind with the beer bottle. Several officials runs out to stop him, but Headbanger Man refuses to stop until the bottle breaks. After several shots with the bottle, it finally shatters, and Haeadbanger Man just looks on, satisfied, as wordlifeecw lays in a pile of broken glass.


Gorilla: Well, the General and wordlifeecw pick up the win, but the real story is what happened when the match was over.

Jesse: Headbanger Man sending a clear message to the Hardcore Champion.

Gorilla: Up next Jesse, Aaron Enigma V. M.O.P., inside a steel cage!


*We see Aaron Enigma backstage*

Tonight I embark on a journey I've never taken before. M.O.P. and I are going to clash inside of a cage. I've never been in this type of match before. I do know how painful it is, how violent and vicious it is as well. Tonight is another step towards my goal. Next week I face Seth for the championship of honor and this match does nothing to prepare me for that. The rules are just about opposite of each other. M.O.P. wants his revenge for last week when I eliminated him, and I am doing this to prove my worth.

Tonight you had better be ready M.O.P. You are the seasoned veteran of the cage match, but that doesn't mean you'll win. I've been in my share of hardcore match and I know how to get down and dirty. You better watch youself tonight or you'll end up on the bad side of a Brilliant Deduction. I'm Aaron Enigma, The Head Detective of WWCF and newest member of The Story. Tonight I'm going to prove to everyone, including my stablemates that the Head Detective is The Story on Page One. And next week, I will beat Seth for his title, and Take The Power Back.


Steel Cage Match: M.O.P. V. Aaron Enigma

The following contest is a steel cage match! This match can be won by pinfall, submission, or escape from the cage.
*Gurren Lagann - Burning Soul!*
Introducing first, from Effin, Jersey. Weighing in at 232 pounds, being accompanied by The Sam, and representing WWCF Corporate, M.O.P!
“Elementary, my dear Watson!”
*Know Your Enemy*
And his opponent, from Concord New Hampshire, but currently residing in Chicago, Illinois. Weighing in at 256 pounds, and representing The Story, Head Detective, Aaron Enigma!

Aaron and M.O.P. lock up and begin fighting for position. M.O.P takes the early advantage with a side suplex. He quickly pulls Enigma up, and hit’s a flurry of chops, followed by a swinging neck breaker. Cover.
1..
Kickout.
M.O.P pulls Enigma up and sends him into the ropes. Aaron bounces back, and ducks a clothesline, and fires back with one of his own. Aaron begins choking M.O.P., who struggles to get loose. Enigma tightens his grip, and pulls M.O.P. up by his throat. Enigma fires off some punches, before hitting a clothesline, sending M.O.P to the mat. Cover.
1..
Kickout.
Enigma once again pulls M.O.P. to his feet, and hit’s a neck breaker. Cover.
1
2
Kickout.
M.O.P. immediately begins crawling towards the door, but Enigma pulls him back. M.O.P. hit’s a low on Enigma, bringing the detective to his knees. M.O.P. catches his breath and then delivers a dropkick to Enigma’s head. Cover.
1
2
Kickout.
M.O.P. rams Aaron’s head into the side of the cage, then rakes his face across it, drawing blood. M.O.P. then hit’s a reverse DDT and covers Enigma.
1
2
Kickout.
M.O.P. stomps Aaron a few times and then begins scaling the cage. Aaron gets to his knees and begins shaking the cage wall. M.O.P. is caught off balance, and falls back to the mat. Aaron covers him.
1
2
Kickout.
M.O.P. quickly heads for the door again, but Enigma once again pulls him towards the middle of the ring, and locks in the Extreme Interrogation. M.O.P. tries to break free, but Aaron, with blood running down his face, refuses to release his grip. M.O.P. finally has no choice but to tap out.

Here is your winner, Aaron Enigma!

Aaron climbs to the top of the cage to celebrate, while The Sam helps M.O.P. to the back.


Gorilla: And what a match we just witnesses, Jess!

Jesse: Right you are Gorilla. Aaron Enigma picks up an amazing victory here tonight!

Gorilla: Up next, our main event! Motor-Colt and Above Average V. Square and Starshine!


The Story: Motor-Colt and Above Average V. The Non-American Heroes: Square and Starshine

The following contest is set for one fall, with a 30 minute time limit.
*It’s Hard To Speak Without A Tongue*
Introducing first, representing the Story, and weighing in at a total combined weight of 507 pounds, King Motor-Colt and the WWCF Inter-Forum Champion, Above Average!
*Supermassive Black Hole*
And their opponents, representing WWCF Corporate and being accompanied by The Sam. Weighing in at a total combined weight of 440 pounds, Square and Starshine, The Non-American Heroes!

Above Average and Starshine start off the match. They tie up, but Starshine breaks the lockup. Starshine, Square, and The Sam huddle in the corner, apparently discussing strategy. Above Average comes up behind Starshine and rolls him up.
1
2
3

Here are your winners, Above Average and Motor-Colt!

Gorilla: [color=Orange]The NAH can’t believe it!

Jesse: I can’t believe it, Gorilla! That had to be one of the quickest matches in WWCF History!

Starshine and Square begin arguing with the referee. The ref goes over and says something to Above Average and Motor-Colt. They nod, and the ref goes over and says something to Michael Muffer.

Ladies and gentlemen, The Non-American Heroes have asked for a do-over, and The Story has accepted!

Gorilla: A do-over?! In all my years, I have never heard of such a thing!

Above Average and Starshine lock up, but once again, Starshine breaks the tieup, and he rolls to the floor. The NAH and The Sam huddle once again, apparently still discussing strategy. While this goes on, the ref has begun counting.
1
2
3
4
5
Above Average suddenly dives over the top rope onto the Heroes and Sam!
6
7
Above Average rolls Starshine back into the ring, breaking the count. Motor-Colt tags in, and he goes to work on Starshine. Colt hit’s a snap suplex and makes the cover.
1
2
Kickout.
Colt continues to attack Starshine, before locking in the Final Thought! Starshine struggles to escape, but Colt wrenches back on the hold. Starshine is about to tap out, but Square breaks it up. Above Average runs in and chases Square out of the ring. As the ref removes Above Average, Starshine and Square use the opportunity to double team Colt. The ref turns in time to see Square (legally) tag in. Square delivers a hard kick to Colt’s ribs, followed by a knee drop, and a cover.
1
2
Kickout.
Square tags Starshine back in. Starshine starts stomping Colt’s leg, before sitting him up. Starshine bounces off the ropes a few times, as he’s about to kick Colt, but instead, he applies a headlock. Colt easily rolls Starshine up.
1
2
Kickout.
Starshine angrily shoves Colt down, and tags Square in again. Square hit’s a face buster on a rising Motor-Colt, and covers him.
1
2
Kickout.
Square pulls Colt up to his feet, and applies a front facelock. He drags Colt to the corner and tags Starshine in. The Heroes hang Colt over the ropes, as Starshine yells,

This is gonna be awesome!

Starshine goes for a lung blower, but Colt grasps the rope, causing Starshine to land hard on his ass! Square tries to choke Colt from the ring apron, but Colt punches him away. Starshine tires to back suplex Colt, but Colt counters it into a bulldog. Colt then reaches up and tags in Above Average. AA charges into the ring and clothesline’s Starshine. Square runs in and takes a clothesline as well. The Sam jumps on the ring apron and grabs Above Average from behind. Starshine charges at AA, but the Inter-Forum Champion moves out of the way, causing Starshine to clothesline Sam. AA then rolls up Starshine.
1
2
3

Here are your winners, Motor-Colt and the WWCF Inter-Forum Champion, Above Average, The Story!

Gorilla: And The Story completing the hat trick here tonight, Jesse.

Jesse: Three big wins for The Story, but they better not get over confident. Corporate may be down, but they’re not out.

Gorilla: Coming up next, the contract signing between Seth Drakin and LittleNaitch!



*There is a table set with a contract set and two chairs. Michael Muffer is in the ring with a microphone.*

Michael: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is time for the contract signing for the main event that will be competed at the Survivor Team Challenge Series and will be for the WWCF World Heavyweight Championship.

*The crowd cheers as Michael continues.*

Michael: Now, in accordance with an agreement, both men have asked to bring one bag with them as well as physical backup because neither man trusts the other.

*Blow Me Away by Seth Drakin plays and he gets a chorus of boos as he is carrying his Title of Honor and a black bag while being followed by two masked men.*

Michael: Heading to the ring....accompanied to the ring by "Mr. E" & "U.N. Owen".........from Stafford, Virginia...........the number one contender for the world title and the only Champion Of Honor.............Seth Drakin!!!!!!!!!!!

*Seth enters the ring with his backup as he takes a seat to the right of the table. He sets his bag down as his two masked bodyguards stand behind Seth

The New Blackjacks theme plays and Little Naitch comes out to the ring carrying the world title and a bag while being followed by Tyfo and The Farris Brothers. Despite the presence of the WWCF Corporate, the fans give Little Naitch a huge cheer.*

Michael: And now coming down the ring.........accompanied to the ring by Tyfo and WWCF Corporate Security Phil and Bill Farris........from Las Vegas, Nevada.......he is the WWCF World Heavyweight Champion............Little Naitch!!!!!

*Little Naitch enters the ring as he stares at Seth. Seth stands up as well and the two have a small stare down before Little Naitch drops his bag and raises the World Title. Both men then sit down as Tyfo and the Farris Brothers stand behind Little Naitch.*

Michael: Now as custom to contract signings, Seth Drakin....since you are the challenger, will you please sign the contract first?

*Seth signs the contract and smiles as he slides it towards Little Naitch.*

Michael: Little Naitch.....if you will please???

Little Naitch: Now hold on there, fella. What’s the hurry???

Seth: What is the hurry??!!!

Little Naitch: Yeah, you heard me….what’s the hurry?

*Seth seems pissed but smiles.*

Seth: Well.....I guess you got to consider your options now because once you signed that contract; you have signed over that world title to me. Not very good for a corporate puppet!!!

Little Naitch: Corporate puppet? NOBODY in Corporate tells me what to do…

*Seth thinks and grins even more*

Seth: Speaking of puppets….I guess it is time you met my special guest.

*Seth goes into his bag and reveals the “Little Naitch” puppet that he used years ago.*

Seth: Long time no see for you two.......

*Seth looks at the puppet*

Seth: Hey LN, what do you have to say to your counterpart?

LN Puppet: Woooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Little Naitch: You’re a funny man there Seth. This is what started the war to begin with.

Seth: I figured it was time to unleash this bad boy out.

Little Naitch: Well last time you busted that doll out, you proceeded to duck me for the last six months.

Seth: Hey.....blame MiLo Duck for putting me out and by then, I had all the control in the world.....and seeing as I knew how much you wanted to get your hands around my neck.....I let you wait in torture like a man trying to grab the golden fruit.....only for the branch to be lifted a little higher every time.

Little Naitch: Well unlike you, I don’t hide or duck from opponents.

Seth: Well.....you got me now in a match where I exactly wanted you.....you see, you had the chance to take my honor title, but you didn’t......why was that??? Were you too dumb that day????

Little Naitch: Why would I want a title that isn’t even officially recognized by the WWCF? I have the only title that MEANS ANYTHING IS THIS!!!!

*Raises World Title in the air to cheers.*

Seth: Keep dreaming now because there is nothing you can…..

*WCW Juventud Guerrera theme plays as the commissioner of the WWCF, Dr. Amigo Jr. comes out and he is looking at the ring. Seth shakes his head in disappointment.*

Seth: Jeez…..I wonder what this is about. I guess I might have to look at the Corporate’s allies one more time.

Amigo: Listen, Seth……I have nothing but disdain for Dave right now so you can cross that thought out of your mind immediately.

Seth: Well then…..what are you doing here then?

Amigo: Easy, I am here to answer your question of why Little Naitch gave up a shot at your Honor Title. You see, before the match…..I had a little word with Little Naitch backstage away from the Family, the Corporate, and anyone else for that matter and I had some really good news for him. You remember when I warned you about treating the backstage crew like crap and you basically told me to shove off. You also said that there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to you because of your contract. Well, I did something that could slip by your contract because I looked over that thing and while most of your clauses make you mostly untouchable, there was one little clause that I noticed that I think you may have never looked at.

*Amigo pulls out a copy of the contract.*

Amigo: It says here that if you, Seth Drakin….get any one on one title shot that does not have any stipulations already on it….well guess what? The type of title match can be made by the champion at his discretion…..which means Seth that you have to face Little Naitch in whatever match he wants!!!!

*Seth looks on in horror at the announcement he just heard as Little Naitch just smiled.*

Little Naitch: Oh yeah….that’s why I don’t want your stinky title.

*Seth is pissed as anything that he has no control over what happens next.*

Amigo: Now, before I leave…..I guess I should announce that when he heard about this and after he gave Aaron the shot at your “Title of Honor”…..he came to my office and said that he wanted two things in the match against you. Now, Little Naitch would only tell me one because as he said, he wanted the other to be a big surprise. The first thing he wanted was an interesting kind of match……a type of match that has not many names. I know TNA calls it a No Surrender Match, but that is also the name of the pay per view and do we really want to copy from another show? It is a match where there are no disqualifications, no count outs, no submissions, no “I Quits”, no time limits, and no stoppage by the referee. The only way to end the match is by pinfall which means that it is up to the ass kicker when the match ends. I think I will call it a No Easy Way Out Match. I like that name and that was only half of what the match will be because I don’t know what he also wanted and from what I have heard, no one else knows either so the floor is all yours, champ.

*Amigo goes to the back as Little Naitch looks on.

Little Naitch: Thank you, commissioner…

*He turns back and signs the contract and hands it back to Michael before anyone can react. He then looks at Seth with his grin growing wider.*

Little Naitch: Now where were we? Oh yeah, the other half of what I wanted and I was kind enough to bring the second half of what I wanted to this very ring. You see, you brought that dummy in your bag so I guess it is my turn to show what I have. Now, with you…..there are so many things that I could do to make every second you spend in the ring with me……a living nightmare. I mean, I could make it a regular match….

*Naitch pauses and lets the crowd cheer*

Little Naitch: A Street Fight……

*That gets a louder reaction.*

Little Naitch: And I could even face you inside of Hell in a Cell.

*The reaction to the Hell in a Cell overrides the reaction to the street fight.*

Little Naitch: But there is one match that I have always wanted with you…..just one match…..and I can’t seem to think of it right now…..hmmm

*Little Naitch fake thinks as if to taunt Seth, but that doesn’t last long.*

Little Naitch: Oh yeah…..I remember now….

*Little Naitch goes into his bag and reveals two dog collars connected by a long chain. Little Naitch slams those into the crowd which makes the audience almost explode with joy while Seth has his eyes grow so big that it looks like he has seen a ghost.*

Little Naitch: You see Seth, you have dug yourself a huge grave here pal as I am sure you thought that when you pulled out of the dog collar match in December that you were home free but you were way wrong. I have been thinking about this for months Seth and now you are going to pay for EVERYTHING you have done since your return from an alleged neck injury. I am out for blood Seth and with no referee to bail you out, you are going to need a blood transfusion when it is all said and done as there will no way you will be beating the first ever WWCF Triple Crown Winner and remember Seth, I am the one who defeated you for the Hardcore Title so I already hold a victory over you and I WILL, DEFEAT YOU AGAIN!!!! Everyone in this arena, everyone watching at home, and everyone backstage wants to see you get every ounce of your comeuppance and at the Survivor Team Challenge Series; they are going to get exactly what they want.

*”No Easy Way Out” by Robert Tipper plays as the crowd celebrates like their local team has won the world title, Little Naitch has a sadistic grin on his face, and Seth is completely stricken by fear as the camera can pick up that Seth shaking his head and saying “No” over and over again.*

Gorilla: What an announcement! At Survivor Team Challenge Series, it will be LittleNaitch defending the WWCF World Title against Seth Drakin, in a DOG COLLAR MATCH!!!

For Jesse King, I'm Gorilla Tim Hoss! Good night, from WWCF Monday NiteRaw!


This week's match writing credits: Headbanger Man, Viva Los Bio Dome, Jonathan Michaels, Evil M, and grbjazzman

Sunday Night Heatz!!1 - May 10, 2009

Sunday Night Heatz!!1
May 10th, 2009


Relegate Hunter V. Stevierichardsfan Babyface w/ Eli

*Leave the Memories Alone*
The opening match tonight is set for one fall, with a 15 minute time limit! Introducing first, being accompanied by Eli. From Badstreet USA, weighing in at 225 pounds, Stevierichardsfan Babyface!
*Smile Like You Mean It*
And his opponent, from Brighton, England, weighing in at 190 pounds, Relegate Hunter!

Hunter offers Stevie a handshake at the start. Stevie takes it, but tries to cheap shot Hunter. Hunter blocks it and hits an arm drag on Stevie. Stevie get’s up, and he and Hunter tie up. Stevie applies a headlock, but Hunter shoots him into the ropes. Stevie bounces back, and runs right into a dropkick. Cover.
1
2
Kickout.
Stevie get’s to his feet, and he and Hunter tie up again. Stevie shoots behind Hunter for a rear takedown. Stevie hit’s it, and locks on a headlock. Hunter fights his way out of it, and connects with another dropkick.
1
2
Kickout.
Hunter pulls Stevie to his feet and connects with a snap suplex. Stevie kicks out again, but as he get’s to his feet, Relegate Hunter is waiting with the Dentist’s Dream. Cover.
1
2
3

Here is your winner, Relegate Hunter!


Koda and Legion V. Brahma Bull and Doley

This following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit!

(Agent Of Chaos)
Introducing first, from Gotham, he weighs in at 223 pounds, KODA!

*Koda buzzes a few hands around ringside*

(Mordecai theme)
And his tag team partner, from The Darkness Within You All and weighing in at 253 pounds, he is LEGION!

(Man With A Plan)
And their opponents, first from Belfast, Northern Ireland, he weighs in at 280 pounds, DOLEY!

(Never Gonna Give You Up)
And his tag team partner, from Glasgow in Scotland, weighing at 219 pounds, BRAHMA BULL!

- Bull zombie walks his way into the ring. Doley commands him to leave the ring so that he can start the match. Koda locks up with Doley and works the arm. Doley pushes Koda off and knocks him down with a clothesline. Koda is whipped into the corner, but gets the boots up on a charge, before charging out with a huge front dropkick. Koda goes to the top and hits a guillotine legdrop, but as he goes for the pin, it is broken up by Brahma Bull.

- Koda throws Brahama back to the outside and tags in Legion. Legion hits a big boot on Doley, followed by a quick DDT for a near-fall. Legion takes Doley down with a Russian leg sweep, and grounds him with a Damascus headlock. Doley fights his way out of it with elbows to the gut, but is hit with another clothesline.

- Legion attempts a sudden Arms Of Morpheus, but Doley reacts sharply and gets to the ropes. He then tags in Brahma, who shuffles into the ring. Brahma ducks a boot attempt, and hits a few uppercuts, followed by a bridging belly to back suplex, which gets 2. Legion shoots off the ropes but runs into a sleeper. Legion goes to one knee, and as the ref goes to lift his arm, Legion rallies back, and counters out of it with a suplex.

- Koda gets tagged in at the same time as Doley, and pops the crowd with dropkicks to both opponents. He hits Brahma with a Shining Wizard, which knocks him out of the ring, before throwing Doley into the corner, and nailing the Arkham Round Up for a close 2 count. Outside the ring Legion delivers a Running Lariat to Bull. He charges again at, but receives a drop toe hold into the steel steps.

- In the ring, Koda attempts to the the Killing Joke on Doley, but it is countered into a DDT. Doley hits a scissors kick for a 2 and a half count. Brahma gets on the apron and tries to spit poison zombie mist at Koda, but he ducks and it hits Doley full in the face.

- Legion pulls Brahma off the apron and hits him with the Fall From Grace on the floor. Inside the ring, Koda takes advantage of the temporarily blinded Doley with the Killing Joke, for the academic 3.

Here are your winners, the team of KODA AND LEGION!


Viva Los Bio Dome V. TTS

Viva enters the ring to "The Safety Dance" and TTS enters the ring to his new music.

The bell rings and the two lock up. TTS starts with some instant offense, a flurry of punches and a discus clothesline. Viva gets up and shakes off the punishment and they lock up again. TTS again gains the upper hand and drops Viva with a quick DDT. TTS goes for the early pin.

One...
T...

Viva with a quick kick out. Viva rolls to the outside to gather his composure. TTS taunts him with a quick bullride around the ring. Viva jumps back into the ring and goes for a punch, but TTS reverses it into a swinging neckbreaker. TTS goes for another pin.

One...
Two...

Viva kicks out. Viva trips TTS and runs off the ropes, TTS rolls under him, and gets up and drills him a huge belly to belly. TTS picks Viva up and irish whips him into the corner. TTS begins stomping a mudhole into Viva. Viva rolls to the outside, goes to the bellman and gets his belt. Viva runs back into the ring, ducks under TTS's clothesline, bounces off the ropes and annihilates him with his Heatz!!1 championship belt.

Your winner by disqualification... TTS!

TTS is out cold, and Viva stands over him holding his belt high and smiling as Heatz!!1 comes to a close.

Monday Niteraw - May 4, 2009

Monday NiteRaw
May 4th, 2009


Tim Hoss: Welcome to Monday NiteRaw! I’m “Gorilla” Tim Hoss!

Jesse King: And I’m Jesse King!

Gorilla: What a night it was at Smurf the World! We saw new champions crowned, including the new WWCF World Champion, LittleNaitch!

Jesse: And tonight, The Sam is holding a press conference to officially award the championship to Naitch!

Gorilla: We also have some big matches tonight. Motor Colt will tangle with Seth Drakin, one on one!

Jesse: And speaking of Seth, he will be holding his Honor Invitational to determine his first challenger for the Championship of Honor!

Gorilla: And our main event, a rematch for the WWCF World Tag Team Championship!

Jesse: My money is on The Non-American Heroes regaining their championships, Gorilla!

Gorilla: Well that remains to be seen Jesse. Right now, let’s take it down to Michael Muffer for our opening contest!


Handicap Gauntlet Match: Above Average V. The Wargame Warriors, Latino Meat, SuperSmark, and MolotovMocktail

Ladies and gentlemen, the following is the opening contest, and it is a Handicap Gauntlet Match!

*The Prodigy - Poison*

Introducing first, from Belfast, weighing in at 260 pounds, he is the WWCF InterForum Champion, Above Average!

*Leave The Memories Alone*

And his opponent, from Badstreet USA, weighing in at 225 pounds, Stevierichardsfan Babyface!

Stevie and Above Average lock up, with AA getting the upper hand with a standing switch into a rear takedown. Stevie fights back to his feet, and takes Above Average down with an arm drag. Cover, but only 1. Stevie whips Above Average into the corner, and charges, only to find nobody home. Stevie stumbles out of the corner, and walks into a Superkick.
1
2
3

*Leave The Memories Alone*

Krazy E-Man runs out and starts pummeling Above Average. The Inter-Forum Champion holds his own, however, and peppers Krazy with lefts and rights. AA hit’s a backbreaker and get’s a 2 count off of it. Krazy sends AA into the ropes and catches him coming back with a sidewalk slam.
1
2
Kickout.

Krazy picks the champion up for a second sidewalk slam, but AA breaks free, and locks in the Dragon Sleeper. Krazy E-Man taps out.

*The Doors - Backdoor Man*

Latino Meat runs down to the ring, and he and Above Average tie up. Above Average applies a wristlock, which Meat counters out of. Side headlock by Meat, AA sends him into the ropes, leapfrog, ducks down, and catches Meat with an overhead suplex.
1
2
Kickout.

Above Average lock’s on a neck vice, causing Meat to yell out in pain. Meat eventually grabs the bottom rope, forcing a break. Meat pulls himself up, and ducks a clothesline, and hit’s a back body drop. Cover.
1
2
Kickout.

Meat locks on a chinlock. Above Average struggles, before forcing his way out of it. Meat comes off the ropes with a running crescent kick, which dazes the Champion. Meat waits for AA to get up, and catches him with a flying shoulder tackle. Meat pulls AA towards the corner, and goes up top for the Meat Compactor. AA rolls out of the way however, causing Latino Meat to crash and burn. AA and Latino Meat are both down. The ref begins his count.
1

2

3

4

AA starts to get up.

5

6

Latino Meat is also getting up.

7

8

AA is on his feet, stopping the count. Latino Meat get’s up right after and turns towards Above- SUPERKICK!
1
2
3!

*Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap*

SuperSmark races to the ring, carrying his trusty laptop. Above Average is waiting for him, and catches him with backbreaker as he enters. Cover.
1
Kickout.

Above Average hammers Smark with some punches, before hitting a delayed vertical suplex. Cover.
1
2
Kickout.

Smark tries to fight back, but Above Average won’t let up. The Inter-Forum Champion connects with a stun gun in the corner, before going for the Superkick again. Smark has the presence of mind to get out of the way. He rolls towards the corner, grabs his laptop, and slams it across AA’s face. The bell rings, but Smark continues to hammer Above Average with the laptop, until the referee is able to pull him off. Smark heads to the back, and…

*Bloodhound Gang - I Hope You Die*

MolotovMocktail makes his way to the ring, with a big smile on his face. He slides in the ring and calmly covers Above Average.
1
2
KICKOUT!!!

Mocktail can’t believe it. He stomps away on Above Average and covers him again.
1
2
KICKOUT!!!

Mocktail is getting angry now. He picks up AA and connects with a swinging neck breaker. Cover.
1
2
KICKOUT!!!

Mocktail grabs AA by the hair and drags him over to the turnbuckle. He get’s up top, and lifts up AA for a power bomb, but the Champion fights free. Mocktail comes down with a double axe handle across AA’s back. Mocktail goes for another swinging neck breaker, but AA catches him by surprise with a small package!
1
2
3!

Here is your winner, the WWCF Inter-Forum Champion, Above Average!

Above Average celebrates his win, while Mocktail walks back up the ramp, fuming.


Gorilla: What a match Jesse!

Jesse: I gotta say, I didn’t think Above Average could do it, but he did!

Gorilla: Ladies and gentlemen, our next match was actually taped several weeks ago as a wwcf.com exclusive, but due to an oversight, the match was never aired. So here, and now, we would like to show you this exciting match between Koda and The Tank!


Koda V. The Tank

The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit.

(Agent of Chaos)
Introducing first, from Gotham, he weighs in at 223 pounds...KODA!

(Operation Ground And Pound)
And his opponent, from Los Angeles, California and weighing 265 pounds, THE TANK!

- Before the match gets underway, Tank makes sure Koda doesn't have any of his Gaggle of Gifts to hand. As Koda protests his innocence, Tank nails him with a cheap shot. Tank whips him into the corner but Koda gets the boot up on a charge, before exploding with a wrap-around neckbreaker.

- Koda hits two clotheslines and a dropkick for a near-fall. Koda tries for the split-legged corkscrew moonsault from the top early, but Tank has it scouted and avoids the contact. Tank goes for a couple of quick pinning combinations to no avail. He then hits a powerslam from the suplex position, and follows up with a springboard leg drop for 2.

- Tank cinches in an Indian Deathlock, but Koda eventually makes it to the ropes. Tank tries to drag Koda back into the middle of the ring, but Koda manages to escape the hold. With renewed vigour, Koda hits a Shining Wizard for 2.

- Koda throws Tank into the corner, and lands the Arkham Round Up for another very close near-fall. Koda attempts to hit the Killing Joke, but Tank escapes and hits a double underhook facebuster. Tank lands some quick elbows, before trying to put Koda away with a 630 Splash. However, this time Koda moves out of the way.

- Koda reaches for his necktie, but the referee spots this and removes it from his clutches. As the ref puts it back into the corner, Koda sprays the Joker Venom into the eyes of Tank, before succesfully hitting the Killing Joke for the victory.

Here is your winner.......KODA!


Jesse: What a win for Koda that was!

Gorilla: Yes indeed, Jesse. Up next, grbjazzman takes on Cthulhu, in a match that is bound to be personal!


Cthulhu V. grbjazzman

Muffer: The following match is scheduled for 1 fall. Introducing first, weighing 206 pounds and hailing from Upstate New York. GRBJAZZMAN!

*'Sing, Sang, Sung' plays a Jazzman walks out onto the stage.*

Tim Hoss: Well Jesse, it seems likeJazzman is all business tonight. He looks determined!

Jesse King: Well Gorilla, if you thought you had a friend and he stabbed you in the back, you'd be upset too

Muffer: And His Opponent... representing WWCF Corporate and being accompanied to the ring by M.O.P. this is... CTHULHU!!

*A Chorus of boos sernade the Corporate rock star as he comes out with the newest member of Corporate in tow. He enters the ring as the bell is sounded*

The two men meet in the center of the ring and have a stare-off. Cthulhu slaps Jazzman in the face and Jazzman answers back with a huge right that floors Cthulhu. He backs Cthulhu into a corner and nails him with a kick kick to the stomach and works him over before sending Cthulhu off the ropes.

Cthulhu hits a dropkick to the knee and begins working over the leg of Jazzman, putting him in a single leg Boston Crab. Jazzman cries out in pain as he works his way toward the ropes. He gets his hand on the bottom rope but M.O.P. distracts the official and Cthulhu pulls Jazzman out to the center of the ring.

Hoss:By gawh, the pain must be terrible Jesse!

Jazzman again summons the will power to crawl toward the ropes and forces a clean break. Jazzman sturggles to his feet as Cthulhu hits him with clubbing back blows. He hits Cthulhu with a punch then sends him off the ropes and nails a Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He crawls over to make the cover by can only get a 2 count.

Jazzman struggles to his feet again and whips Cthulhu into the corner and sets him up for a backpack stunner. However, M.O.P. jumps up on the ring apron and distracts the ref again while throwing something to Cthulhu. Jazzman goes over and lays out M.O.P.

King: Hey Gorilla! Cthulhu's got Brass Knux!

A sickening thud is heard as Jazzman gets hit with the brass knux and is covered by Cthulhu. The refs hand fall twice and is on it's way back down for a third time when Jazzman kicks out!

Hoss: He got the shoulder up King!

An angry Cthulhu starts throwing a tantrum in the center of the ring as Jazzman makes his way back to his feet, but M.O.P. slides into the ring as the ref is busy with Cthulhu and low blows Jazzman.

King: This just isn't right Gorilla!

Cthulhu turns back around and nails a kneeling Jazzman with a shining wizard before picking him up and hitting him with a Corporate Rock Drop. Cthulhu makes the cover and gets the three count.

Muffer:Ladies and Gentlemen, you winner... CTHULHU!!

As Muffer says Cthulhu's name, the two members of Corporate begin double teaming Jazzman. M.O.P. rolls out of the ring and picks up a chair to nail Jazzman with when 'Dead and Bloated" is heard thoughout the arena.

Hoss: It's KGX! He's come to help Jazzman!

KGX runs out onto the stage with a chair in hand as the heels stop and stare at him on the stage. KGX though just opens the chair and sits on the stage, watching the beat down continue.

M.O.P. reaches back to hit Jazzman but Jazzman kicks him in the stomach and nails Cthulhu with a judo throw. He motions for KGX to come down to the ring but KGX sits there like a statue before turning around and walking to the back.

King: What the hell was that about Gorilla?

The announcers though are brought back to the ring as the sound of steel meeting cranium echos throughout the arena as M.O.P. nails Jazzman with the chair. M.O.P. and Cthulhu pose over a fallen Jazzman as the crowd showers the pair with boos.


Jesse: Well, next up, former WWCF World Champion Motor-Colt takes on new number one contender, Seth Drakin!


Motor-Colt V. Seth Drakin

*One Winged Angel Remix*
The following contest is set for one fall, with a 30 minute time limit! Introducing first, from Suburbia, weighing in at 265 pounds, he is the Champion of Honor, Seth Drakin!
*It’s Hard To Speak Without A Tongue*
And his opponent, from The Daily Story, Adelaide, Australia, weighing in at 247 pounds, Motor-Colt!

Colt and Seth lock up in the middle of the ring. Colt applies an arm wrench, but Seth maneuver’s out of it, and hit’s an elevated DDT. Cover.
1
2
Kickout.
Seth kick’s Colt in the ribs, followed by an elbow to the small of the back. Cover.
1
2
Kickout.
Seth grabs Colt by the hair and pulls him up. He goes for a suplex, but Colt blocks it, and hit’s a suplex of his own. Cover.
1
2
Kickout.
Colt and Seth tangle near the ropes, with Seth applying a chokehold across the top. The ref gets in there and warns Seth to break it.
1
2
3
4
Seth breaks the choke, only to slap it back on again.
1
2
3
4
Seth breaks it again. The ref admonishes Seth for his actions, but Seth just grins, and begins stomping Colt again. Seth hit’s a big suplex and covers Colt.
1
2
Kickout!
Seth get’s angry, and starts punching and choking Colt. The referee has to pull Seth off of Colt, much to Seth’s anger. Seth get’s in the ref’s face, and shoves him a couple of times. Seth taunts the ref, and dares him to fight back. The ref shoves Seth HARD, knocking him back into Colt’s waiting arms for the Story On Page One! Cover!
1
2
3!

Here is your winner, Motor-Colt!


Jesse: And the former champion get’s himself back on the winning track!

Gorilla: Before long, he’ll probably be the champion again, Jesse! Up next folks, Seth Drakin’s Honor Invitational!


Honor Invitational: Aaron Enigma V. Jonathan Michaels V. LittleNaitch V. M.O.P.

The following contest is the Honor Invitational, 4-Way Elimination Match!
*Original Prankster*
Introducing first, from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 240 pounds, Jonathan Michaels!
*Burning Soul*
Representing Corporate, from Effin, Jersey, weighing in at 232 pounds, M.O.P!
“Elementary, my dear Watson!”
*Know Your Enemy*
Representing The Story, from Concord, New Hampshire, but residing in Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 256 pounds, Head Detective, Aaron Enigma!
*New Blackjacks Theme*
And his opponent, he is the reigning WWCF World Heavyweight Champion! From Las Vegas, weighing in at 235 pounds, LittleNaitch!

The match starts quickly with M.O.P. and Jonathan Michaels charging Naitch. Aaron watches in amusement as the two trade punches with Naitch and respecting his ability to fight back. He decides to end the fun however and spins M.O.P. around, hitting him with a toe-kick before a swinging neckbreaker. Michaels sneaks up behind Aaron and hits him with a back suplex. Naitch and Michaels stare each other down before Naitch taunts him to come. Michaels runs at Naitch and the two lock up with Michaels locking in a headlock after a couple of seconds.

Aaron jumps to his feet and come from behind Michaels, putting him in a headlock, M.O.P comes up and grabs Aaron and hits him with a Russian legsweep. The momentum of Aaron pulls Michaels down, pulling Naitch as all four men fall to the mat. M.O.P. is the first one up and taunts the crowd. The other three slowly get up and M.O.P. once again goes after Aaron. He starts to unleash a flurry of attacks on him and Aaron desparately tries to defend himself from the onslaught.

Meanwhile Naitch and Michaels have another go at it with Naitch getting the better this time. Michaels bounces him off the ropes and pushes Naitch off him, but he gets hit with a Shoulder Block on the way back and is knocked down. Naitch tries to go for the figure-4 but Michaels kicks him away. He grabs Naitch and hits a vertical suplex and locks in an STF on Naitch. Naitch slowly crawls to the ropes and Michaels breaks the hold.

M.O.P. throws Aaron into the turnbuckle and charges. He jumps for a splash but Aaron catches him in midair and hits a big STO on him. Aaron slowly crawls back to his feet as M.O.P. grabs the ropes to get up. Aaron charges at M.O.P. but he counters and throws him over the top rope on instinct. Aaron strategically releases the ropes and hits the ground on his feet, turning around and waving goodbye to M.O.P. M.O.P. is confused originally but then Michael Muffer says,

"M.O.P. has been eliminated for breaking the rules of honor."

M.O.P. is furious and dives out of the ring at Aaron. He hits Aaron with The Turnpike Driver on the ring floor and leaves him motionless. M.O.P. walks to the back furious at Aaron and at himself.

Meanwhile, back in the ring Michaels and Naitch continue to try to make the other submit. Michaels locks in a crossface but Naitch counters into an armbar. They manage to both make it to their feet and Michaels knees Naitch in the midsection and plants him with a DDT. He goes for the cover.
1...2...Naitch kicks out just before 3.

The was close eh King?Oh it sure was Gorilla, I thought for certain the match would end there!

Michaels's frustration gets the better of him when he goes to the top rope. However, Naitch leaps to his feet and throws Michaels off the top rope and down to the mat. Without missing a beat Naitch locks Michaels in the Figure-4 leglock. Michaels desperately tries to get to the ropes, but he is stuck in the middle of the ring. He then tries to flip over to his stomach to reverse the pressure, but Naitch's leverage is too much. Aaron makes his way back into the ring but still lacks the strength to stand. Michaels ends up tapping out after about 3 minutes of trying to escape it.

Jonathan Michaels has been eliminated

Michaels rolls out of the ring and Aaron finally makes it to his feet. He stands up to see Naitch grabbing his head. Aaron looks around and notices that Michaels isn't there anymore and smiles. Naitch smiles back and the two lock up.

It's down to two now King, one of these two men will become the #1 contender for Seth's title.It will be a hell of a showdown between two great competitors Gorilla.

Aaron gets the better of Naitch with a well-placed knee strike. he then lifts Natich up for the Brilliant Deduction but Naitch counters and hits a vertical suplex. He goes for the pin but Aaron counters into a small package.
1...2...Naitch breaks it just in time!

Both men get back up and Naitch hits the first move with a serious of chops, the crowd WOOOing with everyone. Aaron starts to fight back though, hitting a couple chops of his own. The two begin chopping each other until Naitch decides enough is enough and clotheslines Aaron to the ground. He tries to go for the Figure-4 on Aaron but is countered. Aaron gets to his feet and as Naitch turns around he hits the Reverse STO and locks Naitch in Extreme Interrogation.

Extreme Interrogation! It's locked in! Will Naitch fight out or will Aaron win the bout?

Naitch crawls slowly to the ropes and manages to get there. Aaron breaks the hold reluctantly and get to his feet. He lifts up Naitch but Naitch counters with a quick DDT. He picks up Aaron and irish whips him into the ref accidentally. Both men connect with a clothesline and bring each other down. Naitch makes it to his feet and lifts up Aaron. He tries to hit Aaron with another suplex but Aaron counters and hits Naitch with the Brillant Deduction. He falls on top of Naitch but the ref is still down.

Another ref runs out to the ring as the other recovers. The new ref hits the ring and begins to count.
1...2...3!

The new ref lifts Aaron up and declares him the winner, raising his hand. However the old one comes over and pulls it down, saying that Aaron's shoulders were on the mat and that Naitch was the winner. He lifts up Naitch and raises his hand. The refs argue about who was right and wrong as Aaron and Naitch look on confused. The refs called Michael Muffer over and after a minute of talking Muffer says,

Due to a double pinfall, this match is declared a draw!

*After the match, littlenaitch grabs a mic and enters the ring.*

littlenaitch: You did well, Aaron. Despite what happened tonight, you proved to me and to everyone else that you want the Title of Honor. Now there are reasons that I wont reveal yet, but I have no problem doing what I am about to do.

*littlenaitch goes to the outside and whispers something to the ring announcer. The announcer looks at him as if he is sure he wants to do that. littlenaitch smiles and says yes he does. The announcer gets on the mic.*

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match and the #1 Contender for the Championship Title of Honor............AARON ENIGMA!!!!!!!!

*Both Aaron and Seth Drakin look surprised as littlenaitch smiles and walks to the back.*


Gorilla: Quite an unexpected move right there, from LittleNaitch, huh Jesse?

Jesse: Right you are, Gorilla! I just hope the World Champion knows what he’s doing.

Gorilla: Up next, the WWCF Tag Team Champions Rough and Ready defend the gold against the former champions, The Non-American Heroes!


WWCF World Tag Team Championship: The Non-American Heroes V. Rough-n-Ready [c] w/ The Sam

Tag Team Champions RnR vs Non-American Heroes

Muffer – The following contest is set for one fall and it is for the WWCF Tag Team championships.
(Non-American Heroes theme music)
Making their way to the ring first. At a total combined weight of 440 lbs. They are Square and Starshine, The NON-AMERICAN HEROES!
(Square and Starshine walk to the ring shaking their heads at the fans along the way.)
*As Starshine enters the ring he holds his hand out to Michael Muffer who lowers his head and gives him the mic.*
Starshine - *Directed at Muffer* Michael Muffer, if you wouldn't mind, get out of my ring.
*Muffer shakes his head, raises his hands and shrugs before leaving. The crowd boo's and mocks the NAH.*
Starshine - You all think this is really funny don't you? It's just a big joke at our expense. You all think that we've been beat. But the fact is, you're wrong. Every great act at some point had it's... setbacks. But like every great act, we persevere and come out stronger than ever. TTS, Whitey Fats, RnR, you may have all the better hand at this point. But we're one river away from a straight flush.
Last week we took one step back. Tonight we leap forward again. RnR, you beat us once, but your manager won't save you tonight. We are the standard of tag team excellence, and tonight we take back what was stolen from us.
*Tosses the mic outside to Muffer*
And their opponents
(RnR music plays)
At a total combined weight of 570 lbs. They are the NEW WWCF Tag Team Champions, Whitey "Daddy Phat Sax" Fats and TTS, ROUGH’N’READY!!!
(RnR walk to the ring with The Sam in tow. RnR don’t look too happy for some reason. Before the match starts The Sam says “Good Luck to RnR)
The Bell Rings

Square and TTS start the match off. TTS looks at Square, looks at The Sam, Looks at Whitey and then lies down in the middle of the ring. Square looks confused, shrugs his shoulders and pins TTS.
1
2
Whitey runs into the ring and pulls Square off of TTS. Square immediately gets up and asks “What the Hell Are You Doing?”, Whitey throws a punch at Square which sends him back. Starshine gets in the ring and he gets punched as well. TTS tries to calm down Whitey but Whitey pushes TTS back. The referee tells Whitey to get back into his corner but Whitey just pushes the referee on his butt. The referee calls for the bell declaring the match a no contest.
The Sam gets on the apron and says clearly “What The Smurf Do You Think You’re Doing?”
Whitey says “Smurf You” to The Sam before heading to the back.


Gorilla: Well, Jesse. I’m not sure what that was all about.

Jesse: Obviously, all is not well between Rough-n-Ready and The Sam.

Gorilla: Well, in just a moment, The Sam will rejoin us, for the press conference, where LittleNaitch will officially be presented with the WWCF World Championship!


(We see a press conference in the middle of the ring with reporters and cameramen standing on the outside of the ring. Out come The Sam, Tyfo and a couple of lawyers carrying a large briefcase. They all take a seat behind the press conference tables as the fans boo at The Sam and Tyfo. The Sam makes his way to the podium after grabbing some notes from the lawyers)
The Sam – Ladies and Gentlemen, My name is The Sam, and welcome to the official WWCF Champion press conference.
Now please welcome, The NEW WWCF Champion. LITTLENAITCH!!!
(New Blackjacks theme hits the P.A. and out comes Littlenaitch. Pyro shoots as confetti falls from the rafters. The fans cheer for Naitch as he makes his way to the ring. And Naitch acknowledges the fans with a nod.
Naitch makes it to the ring as he and Tyfo share a hug. Naitch shakes The Sam’s hand. The music dies down)
The Sam – On behalf of WWCF and myself, I hereby award you, Littlenaitch, the WWCF World Heavyweight title.
(The Lawyers open the large briefcase revealing the WWCF World title. The Sam reaches into the briefcase and hands Naitch the title. Naitch holds the title above his head as the fans cheer. Naitch takes the microphone)
Naitch – First off, thankyou for that warm reception.
I would like to thank my good friend Motor Colt, he gave me the opportunity when no one else would, and allowed me what many are saying is the best match in WWCF history. Colt, I just want to let you know that if you want a rematch, I will accept. Anytime, anyplace.
Secondly, I want to thank my tag team partner, Tyfo. We have travelled up and down the road together for the past year. Tyfo, you have helped me through the good times and the bad times. I consider you a great wrestler and an even better friend.
And finally I want to thank someone else. Someone who has always been on my side. Someone who has always done whatever they could to help me out. Someone who without, I would not be standing here today.
Of course, I am talking about, all you fans. Right here in the arena and all around the world. You made me the Champion I am today.
(as Naitch poses the title for the media, The Corporation music hits and out comes D-Dave, Cthulu, M.O.P., Square and Starshine. They hop into the ring as it looks like a brawl is about to take place. The Sam and Dave get in each other faces. They are about to come to blows when all of a sudden, Dave and The Sam share a hug in the middle of the ring. M.O.P., Cthulu, Square, Starshine and Tyfo all start high fiving each other as a confused Naitch looks on. The Sam makes his way to the microphone.)
The Sam – Ladies and Gentlemen, I have one more announcement to make. As of this moment The Family is no more. I have been offered a generous offer by Mr D-Dave here to allow myself, Tyfo, Littlenaitch and anyone else the opportunity to join WWCF Corporate.
(Littlenaitch grabs a microphone)
Naitch – What the hell Sam? What the hell is going on? I thought you said “Long Live The Family”? What the hell happened?
The Sam – Naitch, listen, this is what is best for The Family. We must join the political powers in order to survive.
Naitch – Well you know what? I refuse to join these scumbags. Have fun by yourself Sam.
(Naitch leaves the ring)
Tyfo - Whoa, whoa, Naitch. Hold on man. Think about this! Together, you, me, Sam, were powerful. But with the backing of Corporate, we become untouchable! Now that your the World Heavyweight Champion, you've got the biggest target on your back that either of us have ever had in our career's. That means everyone is gunning for you. You know I'm behind you, and you know Sam is behind you. But in the Corporation, then you'll have Cthulhu behind you, you'll have Square behind you, you'll have Starshine behind you, and of course, you'll have Dave behind you. The Family may technically be gone, but now we are one big extended Family. An extended Family that will make sure that World title stays where it belongs, in your hands. You know Seth Drakin has no intentions of being "honorable", so what's wrong with a few extra guys to stand beside you? And Motor-Colt, he may say all the right things, but we've seen in the past that guy might not be all there. How do you know he won't take the first cheap shot he gets and try to take back that title? This is all for the best. Come on man, I know you'll make the right decision.
The Sam – Fine Naitch, leave. You have the choice. Oh before I forget, due to this new powerhouse stable, I have been given more power and I am now an WWCF executive. Meaning I have a decision over everything. What matches will take place, who wins, who loses, what snacks we have in catering oh, and who is the champion and who isn’t….
(Naitch turns around and says “You Wouldn’t?)
The Sam – So Naitch, what will it be? Will you be a Champion or will you not be a Champion?
(Naitch looks at the crowd who tell him “No”. Naitch bows his head and reluctantly gets back into the ring as he shakes everyone’s hand while looking bitter about the whole deal.)
The Sam – Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to my new Corporate Family

Gorilla: Unbelievable, Jesse!

Jesse: Gorilla, we are looking at the new powerhouse stable of the WWCF!

Gorilla: Things around here will NEVER be the same!

(The Corporate music hits as the show closes with Dave, The Sam, Tyfo, M.O.P. , Square, Starshine, Cthulu and a reluctant Naitch standing in the ring)

Sunday Night Heatz!!1 - May 3, 2009

Sunday Night Heatz!!1
May 3rd, 2009


(we see TTS and Whitey sitting outside on their truck hoods with their Tag Team titles talking, out comes The Sam tip toeing through the mud. )
The Sam – Hello Gentlemen, sorry I haven’t congratulated you 2 about your title win last week. By the way, congratulations.
So like I said last week, you are one step closer to being in the most prestigious group in WWCF history. But you have one more challenge. Just one more tiny challenge.
TTS – Sure ting, me and Whitey been doin’ da slammin and jamming all da way. We can do anyting dat you set for us mon.
The Sam – Excellent, well here is your final challenge.
(The Sam hands over 2 envelopes to TTS and Whitey respectively. They open the enevelopes and read the instruction to themselves. A look of shock and confusion runs over their faces as they look at The Sam)
The Sam – I hope you 2 do the right thing. Good luck with your title defence tomorrow night boys.
(The Sam walks away as TTS and Whitey look at each other and the Tag Titles)


*Out in the parking lot, “Evil La Parka”, The General of the Monkey Army, and Jonathan Michaels are seated at a table, while referee Will Alphonzo, and Jerry Fish are standing in front of a dumpster, which is filled with various weapons*

Fish: Folks, welcome to the Hardcore Triathlon! I’m your host, Jerry Fish. Tonight, we will see the Hardcore Champion, Evil Masked wordlifeecw compete against the number one contender, The Headbanger Man. Before we bring out our competitors, let’s meet our judges. First, he is a former Hardcore Champion, The General of the Monkey Army! Next, “Evil La Parka”! And, Jonathan Michaels!

Now, let’s meet the competitors!

*We Built This City*

First, he is he number one contender to the WWCF Hardcore Championship, The Headbanger Man!

*Headbanger Man walks over to the dumpster, pulls out a beer bottle, and smashes it over his own head*


*Opening riff of Kane’s original theme, followed by Thunderstruck*

And, his opponent, Evil Masked wordlifeecw!

*EMW walks out, holds up the belt, then drops his arms, causing pyro to shoot up from the dumpster. Fish and Alphonzo jump, while Headbanger Man remains unflinching*


Gentlemen, the first contest is a sack race! But because this is a hardcore triathlon, we need to turn this up a notch!

*Alphonzo reaches into the dumpster, and pulls out 3 sacks. He opens one, and empties it partway into the second sack. We can see that it is full of thumbtacks. He then empties the other half into the third sack*

Now gentlemen, if you will please remove your boots, we can get this started.

*EMW and Headbanger Man take their boots off, and each grab one of the sacks*

On my mark, you may begin. 3.

*Both men place one foot in the sack*

2.

*They place the other foot in*

1.

*They pull the sacks up*

GO!

*Headbanger Man takes off, but EMW stops, and steps out of the sack, before chasing after his opponent. He catches up to him, and dumps the thumbtacks over Headbanger Man’s head, before calming walking to the finish line, getting back in the sack, and hopping across*

The winner of the sack race, Evil Masked wordlifeecw! We’ll be back with the second event in a little bit. For now though, let’s head into the arena for our opening contest, TromboneMan taking on the debuting Relegate Hunters.


TromboneMan V. Relegate Hunters


The following contest is scheduled for one fall.

(In The Mood)
Introducing first, from Melbourne, Austraila and weighing 240 pounds, TROMBONEMAN!

(Smile Like You Mean It)
And making his WWCF debut, from Brighton in England, he weighs in at 190 pounds, RELEGATE HUNTERS!

- As Hunters is posing on the turnbuckles, TromboneMan attacks him. He whips Hunters off the ropes, but he avoids two clothesline attempts, and Hunters hits a headscissors takedown for an early near fall.

- Hunters lands a standing dropkick, and then hits a running senton. He goes to the top rope and tries a missile dropkick, but TromboneMan manages to swat him away. TromboneMan hits a belly to belly suplex for a 2 count, and goes for a quick Fujiwara ambar, however Hunters quickly reaches the ropes.

- TromboneMan eventually releases the hold and chastises the referee. He turns around and is hit by a couple of forearms, but he catches Hunters in a Samoan Drop for another 2 count.

- TromboneMan signals for The C Note, but Hunters hits a low dropkick out of nowhere. Hunters then hits a kick to the head for his own 2 count. Hunters goes for the Sliced Bread #2, but TromboneMan pushes him into the turnbuckles, and hits an avalanche. After mocking the crowd, he tries for the Rusty Trombone, but Hunters rolls away and avoids the contact.

- Hunters recovers and hits a springboard crossbody, but TromboneMan rolls through for another 2 count. TromboneMan goes to the top rope, but as he jumps off, Hunters hits him with the Dentist's Dream facebuster, and gets the pinfall.

HERE IS YOUR WINNER, RELEGATE HUNTERS!

- Hunters celebrates with the fans around ringside after the victory.


*Out in the parking lot, we see Evil Masked wordlifeecw and Headbanger Man preparing for the second event*

Fish: Ladies and gentlemen, it’s now time for the second event of the Hardcore Triathlon, Rope Jumping! But not just any rope. A BARBED WIRE ROPE!!! You will each have 60 seconds to make as many complete jumps as you can. If you trip or stop jumping for any reason, your turn end’s. EMW, you won the first contest, so you can choose whether you want to go first or second.

Let’s see what ‘cha got, ‘Banger Man.

*Headbanger Man takes the rope*

3
2
1
Go!

*Headbanger Man begins jumping, skipping about 7 consecutive times, before tripping*

Seven jumps. Not bad. Wordlifeecw, you’re up.

*EMW takes the rope*

3
2
1
Go!

*wordlifeecw begins jumping, but after 5 jumps, Headbanger Man punches EMW in the face with a fist that's been wrapped in barbed wire*

Five jumps. Well, that means Headbanger Man wins the second event. We’ll be back with the final event, but first, we have Legion taking on Brahma Bull.


Brahma Bull V. Legion


*Mordicai’s theme*
The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, from The Darkness Within You All, weighing in at 253 pounds, Legion!
*Never Gonna Give You Up*
And his opponent, from Glasgow, Scotland, weighing in at 219 pounds, Brahma Bull!

Bull and Legion tie up, and Bull tries to bite Legion. Legion blocks it, and hit’s a clubbing blow to the back of the neck. He follows up with a scoop slam, and a cover for 2. Bull pulls himself off the mat, only to get downed once again by a clothesline. Legion picks Bull up and drops him throat first across the top rope. Another cover, and 2. Legion tosses Bull into the corner, and charges, only for Bull to move. Bull nails a shoulder block, followed by a running knee lift, and a cover, getting a 1 count.

Bull stomps Legion, and goes to the top rope. He comes off with a flying lariat, and get’s another 2-count. Bull runs the ropes, and goes for another lariat, but Legion ducks, and catches Bull on the way back with a big boot. Cover, and 2. Legion pummels Bull some more, and goes for the Fall From Grace, but Bull catches Legion in a small package for a near fall. Angry, Legion slams Bull into the turnbuckle, and follows up with a tree of woe baseball slide. He then locks in the Arms of Morpheus. The ref raise Bull’s arm up, and it drops down. The bell rings.

Here is your winner, Legion!


*In the parking lot, EMW and Headbanger Man are preparing for the final event of the Hardcore Triathlon*

Fish: Gentlemen, it’s time for the final event. Whoever wins this will be declared the winner of the Hardcore Triathlon! Are you ready?

*EMW and Headbanger Man nod*

OK then. Your final event is…a table breaking contest! Your goal is to break as many tables as possible within the 60 second time limit. Good luck to both of you.

3
2
1
GO!

*Headbanger Man set’s the tone for the contest by head butting a table, causing it to shatter. EMW elbow drops a table in half. Headbanger Man tosses a table against the dumpster, breaking it. EMW dives off the top of the dumpster to break a table. This goes on, with both men very creatively destroying the tables. With only one table remaining, the time limit expires*

Fish: Well, it appears we have a tie! Therefore, our judges will select the winner. La Parka, your choice please?

Headbanger Man.

General?

wordlifeecw

Jonathan Michaels, the deciding vote, please?

…



Headbanger Man.


*EMW looks shocked*

Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the Hardcore Triathlon, The Headbanger Man!

*Wordlifeecw looks questioningly at Jonathan Michaels. La Parka suddenly charges at EMW. The two scuffle, while The General, Michaels, and Headbanger Man try to break it up. They finally pull the two apart. The General pulls La Parka to one side, while Jonathan and Headbanger Man get wordlifeecw on the other side.

Then, Headbanger Man suddenly grabs wordlifeecw and powerbomb's him through the remaining table. Michaels checks on wordlifeecw, as Headbanger Man smugly walks away*


Heatz!!1 Champion iViva Los Bio Dome! vs. Metylerca

*Whiplash begins playing and Metylerca makes his way to the ring*

Now coming in at 6'1", 230 pounds, from Los Angelos, Californiaaaa! ... Metylerca!

Metylerca begins warming up in the ring....

*Cult Chaos' theme song begins playing as Viva makes his way to the ring.*

Coming in at 5'11" and 195 pounds, from Hayward, Californiaaaaa! ... The Heatz!!1 champion ... iViva Los Bio Dome!

Viva baseball slides in to the ring, and offers Metylerca a friendly handshake to start the match. Metylerca bites on this friendly gesture, and walks straight in to a clothesline. Viva drops a knee on him to keep him down. Viva taunts the crowd, long enough for metylerca to get up and drop him with a huge big boot. Metylerca sits him up and puts him in a headlock. Viva fights out of it and Metylerca irish whips him off of the ropes. Viva hits him with a Lou Thesz press, and begins a set of punches. Viva gets up and hits Metylerca with a standing frog splash.

Viva climbs to the top rope and tries for a giant leg drop, but Metylerca rolls out of the way. Metylerca picks Viva up and hits him with a DDT. He again picks Viva up and nails him with a vicious lariato!!!


Cult Chaos' music hits, and Stryker, Milo, and TromboneMan all stand on the ramp, staring daggers through Metylerca. Metylerca can't take his eyes off of Cult Chaos, and Viva is standing behind him. Metylerca turns around and walks in to a purple sticky punch. Viva peels him up off of the apron and nails him with the bio dome.

Viva goes for the cover.

1...
2...
3...

Here is your winner, Viva Los Bio Dome!


The crowd is booing mercilessly, and Viva walks out with a smug look on his face. Cult Chaos exit to the back as Sunday Night Heatz!!1 comes to a close.


Match writing credits: Bring Back The Headbangers(The Headbanger Man), Viva Los Bio Dome, and Evil Masked wordlifeecw