Sunday Night Heatz!!1 - January 11, 2009

Sunday Night Heatz!!1
January 11, 2009
Episode 2

*Stock footage of a Nuclear Bomb detonating is played with the words "Sunday Night Heatz!!1" is shown. The camera then pans out to the Parts Unknown Arena's ringside announcer booth where the commentators (commentator?) of the evening are seated*

Amigo: Hello wrestling fans to the second show of Sunday Night Heatz! I'm Dr. John S. Amigo Jr., M.D., seemingly flying solo tonight after my journalistic colleague TheSam08 was publicly fired on Monday Nite Raw due to embezzlement and fraud and..... Wait, what the hell?

*TheSam08 sprints down the entrance ramp without fanfare, and sits in his seat*

Amigo: You? You have been fired from this organization! What are you doing here? Did you somehow get by Security?

Sam: I don't know what you're talking about John...Lets' get on with the show! My name is The Sam, and I am the Manager of Champions. So, what matches do we have tonight John?....

Amigo: Well, we got Latino Meat's debut match against One Doley Nation, the debut match of Stevierichardsfan Babyface & Krazy E-Man going up against MolotovMocktail & Aaron Enigma, a Triple Threat Hardcore match of the General of the Monkey Army, Starshine, and Legion, and the main event of Brahma Bull, Evil La Parka, Whitey Fats going up against Viva Los Bio Dome, Disco Stu, & Supersmark.

Sam: WOW! Those matches sound fantastic! Let's get started.......right now......with the matches.........why is the camera still on me guys?...........no, I don't think I have anything else to say.........so John, how are the kids?

Amigo: They are great. Now, our first match: Latino Meat VS One Doley Nation. This is the debut of the unique Latino Meat going up against a veteran in One Doley Nation right now.

Sam: You got that right. Latino Meat may be the greenhorn in this match but don't be fooled by his arrogance. He can rumble with the best of them. And the fighting Irish man may have his hands full...of meat.

____________________________________________


Opening Singles Match
Latino Meat
VS
One Doley Nation

Meat and Doley tie up at the start, fighting for position. Meat takes the early advantage with an arm drag, and follows it by locking in an armbar. Doley fights out and goes for a clothesline. Meat ducks it and hit’s a dropkick. From there, he whips Doley into the ropes and delivers a back body drop. Doley rolls out of the ring to regroup, but Meat comes diving over the top rope. Doley moves just in time, causing Latino Meat to crash into the crowd control barrier. Doley picks up Meat and tosses him back in the ring, where he delivers a suplex, and makes the cover for a 2-count.

Doley tosses Meat into the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a big boot, followed by another near-fall. Doley delivers another suplex, and sets up Latino Meat for a scissors kick. Meat catches Doley’s leg and spins him around, catching him on the way back around with a running crescent kick. Meat hit’s a backbreaker, followed by a Latin Leg Sweep, and gets a near-fall. Doley rakes the eyes and delivers a side effect. He goes for the Lionsault, but Latino Meat gets his knees up.

Latino Meat gets to his feet, only to be met with a dropkick. Doley goes to the top rope for a moonsault, but Latino Meat rolls out of the way at last second, causing Doley to crash and burn. Meat whip Doley into the corner and hit’s the Stinger Splash, followed by a butterfly suplex. As Doley gets to his feet, Meat delivers a bulldog from the top the rope. With Doley reeling, Meat hit’s a big flying shoulder tackle, followed by the Meat Compactor(frog splash), picking up the win.

Michael Muffer- And here is your winner…………….LATINO MEAT!!!!!!!!!!!

Amigo: And there you have it Latino Meat has made a definite impact tonight. Our next match is another debut of the Wargames Warriors going up against the impromptu team of Molotov Mocktail and Head Detective Aaron Enigma.

Sam: You know on Monday, in the only thing that happened to me, I did a promo about this new Female in WWCF. Eli "The Valkyrie". Now, despite the fact that I believe Women wrestlers should stay in the Kitchen and out of the ring. Which is why I am hoping Molotov Mocktail and Aaron Enigma knock some sense into the head of Stevie and Krazy.

____________________________________________________

-backstage in a dark room, Head Detective Aaron Enigma sit on a staircase flickering a flashlight on and off-

This place..this room...this light...they all hold secrets. This light opens the eyes to new things, yet it can hide them just as easily. This room hides many things beyond your field of view. This place, this company, this foundation...all hiding things from you, the masses. The whole world is shrouded in mystery, the unknown and the unseen. I have been sent here to discover the unseen, to see with eyes unlike any other. -throws in some slit eyed red contact lenses while the light is off, then turns it on and looks right at the camera- Can you see the world as I see it? Do you see right and wrong, black and white? They are just concepts that people use to describe their opinions. They are not fact, they are fiction. I'm Aaron Enigma....can you see the difference?

____________________________________________

(The Wargame Warriors and Eli are in the locker room)

Stevie: For two years, you have laughed at me. You made me a comedy character, you made Kraz E-Man another mockery, and held down Eli.

(Kraze Man nods, scowling, and Eli crosses her arms and shoots out a death glare, popping gum)

Stevie: Tonight, we fight Enigima Mockatail. We're not intimidated, because we've dealt with your kind of people before- vain, proud, ignorant. I assure you, you won't think of us as just another obstacle after this match...we can win this, I know we can. We'll do anything to win this. We're not shy. We'll eliminate evil from this world if it takes our whole lives. We refuse to become victims to you, we will either win, or take you down with us.

Krazy E-Man: You will soon learn to think of us as something other than freaks or clowns. By any means necessary.

Eli: Even if it takes a couple cheap shots, chair shots, or a little unfairness. It's for the greater good, ain't it?

Stevie: For those of you who don't want us to wipe out the filth of this world, you have no choice.

Krazy E-Man: The tag titles are ours. It's a matter of time now. So, maybe you can stop treating us...rejects, as jokes, and laugh your way down to hell.

Eli: In the end, maybe you'll see that all those years we got pushed around, our blood boiled on the inside. It's made us tougher than you'll ever be. We have some steam to blow off.

Stevie: Hope you're not in the way.

(Camera fades to black)

____________________________________________


Tag Team Match
Wargame Warriors(Krazy E-Man and stevierichardsfan babyface) W/ Eli
VS
MolotovMocktail and Head Detective Aaron Enigma

The match started with MolotovMocktail and stevierichardsfan. They locked up and stevie gets the advantage and gets Mocktail into a headlock. Stevie wrenches in but Mocktail elbows him in the stomach and pushes off Stevie into the ropes who comes back to be greeted with a big forearm to the head. Mocktail grabs stevie’s head and attempts a DDT but stevie blocks it and hits a northern lights suplex for a two count.

Stevie picks up Mocktail and delivers an uppercut which sends Mocktail back into a corner. Stevie comes charging at him and goes for a big boot but Mocktail gets out of the way and stevie bangs his leg into the turnbuckle. Mocktail grabs stevie from behind and delivers a big neckbreaker. He goes for the cover but only gets two. Mocktail drags stevie over to his corner and tags in Aaron who kicks stevie in the ribs while mocktail holds up stevie’s arm. Aaron grabs stevie’s arm and works on it for a few minutes. Aaron gets stevie into an abdominal stretch and holds on to the ropes for more leverage and tries to hide it from the ref but the ref catches him and kicks his arm from the rope and stevie gives Aaron a big hip toss.

Both men crawl to get to their corners. Aaron makes it first and Mocktail comes charging in to get stevie but stevie makes the hot tag to the big Krazy E-Man who comes in a house of fire. He clotheslines Mocktail and then clotheslines Aaron. He picks up Aaron and gorilla press slams him over the top ropes out on the concrete. Krazy picks up Mocktail and holds him up while stevie now recovered bounces off the ropes and hits a big clothesline on Mocktail executing their finsishing tag team move The Wargame Attack(hart attack) for the win.

Michael Muffer- The winners of the match………………….WARGAME WARRIORS, STEVIERICHARDSFAN BABYFACE AND KRAZY E-MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eli gets in the ring and celebrates with them.

Sam: And there you have it the Wargame Warriors defeated MolotovMocktail and Aaron Enigma with ease. Despite how I feel about the competitors that was a hell of a match. Now onto our Non-title Triple Threat Hardcore rules match. Why don't you explain it to the Ham and Eggers, Doctor

Amigo: Simple: No killing your fellow wrestlers. Besides that, anything is fair game. The General is a master of the Hardcore style, Legion is cruel and vicious, and Starshine is a clever individual.

____________________________________________


Non-Title Triple Threat Hardcore Match
Legion
VS
Starshine
VS
The General Of The Monkey Army

This hardcore triple threat match was all over the place. First it started out with Legion and Starshine double teaming the Hardcore Champ General Of The Monkey Army trading off trash can and chair shots off the head of the General. Eventually Legion goes for the pin and Starshine pull Legion off. Legion gets mad and pushes Starshine and Starshine pushes him back. Both men see kendo sticks in the middle of the ring and grab them and start dueling. Eventually The General is back up and grabs two kendo sticks and clotheslines both men with them. Starshine gets knocked out of the ring and The General starts viciously beating Legion with the kendo stick.

The General picks up Legion and goes for Monkey Paw and hits it right on the mark. The General goes for the pin but Starshine comes from off the top rope and hits a big swantan bomb. Starshine picks up The General and gives him a side kicks to the face knocking The General out. Starshine goes for the pin but Legion breaks it up with a big trash can shot. Legion grabs the General and puts the trash can over his head and hits it with a chair sending The General out to the ground outside of the ring. Legion picks up Starshine and goes for the Fall From Grace but right when he is about to hit it SQUARE comes from out of the crowd with half of the broken metal pole in his hand and nails a big head shot on Legion. Starshine picks up Legion and hits the Star Shot(twisting fisherman buster). The General tries to come in and break up the count but Square levels him with the metal pole sending him back out to the arena floor allowing Starshine to get the win

Michael Muffer- And here is your winner………………..STARSHINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amigo: After enduring violence that you would normally see in a Biker Bar, Starshine survives the match-up with a huge assist from Square, leaving two heaps in the ring. Next up is our main event. What do you think about this, Sam?

Sam: OK! I ADMIT IT! I WAS FIRED! OK? Are you HAPPY?
Look, this is what happened John. 24 hours after I was fired Dave re-hired me back. I was forced to apologize to the board of directors for my actions against the WWCF. In my contract I have had my salary cut in half, plus I have to pay a $200,000 fine to WWCF, plus I will be forced to face a mystery opponent at "King of the Wrestlecrap". There is to be no outside interference from The Family.
...There....are you satisfied John

Amigo: Yes. And now, our main event Six-Man tag.

____________________________________________


MAIN EVENT
Six Man Tag Match
Brahma Bull, “Evil La Parka”, and Whitey “Daddy Phat Sax” Fats
VS
Viva Los Bio Dome!, Disco Stu, and Supersmark

Micheal Muffer: And now, ladies and gentlemen, the main event of the evening. It has a 50 minute time limit, and is scheduled for one fall. In the blue corner, first from Glasgow, Scotland, he stands 5 feet, 9 inches, and weighs in at 219lbs, his name is Brahma Bull! His partner comes from Mexico City, Mexico, stands 6 feet flat, 225lbs, Evil La Parka, and their partner comes from Strake, Florida, stands 6 feet, 2 inches, weighs in at 280lbs, Whitey "Daddy Phat Sax" Fats!

*A remix of "Never Going To Give You Up" and "Thriller" is played with Evil La Parka and Brahma doing the MJ Zombie dance together, with Whitey fast walks to the ring, angry that his song wasn't played, and is no mood to dance. Parka and Brahma then zombie strut to the ring.

Micheal Muffer: And now, the team in the red corner: First, hailing from Hayward, California, he stands 5 feet, 11 inches, and weighs in at 195lbs, he is Viva Los Bio Dome! And his partner, stand 6 feet flat, weighs 200lbs flat, and hails from Chicago, Illinois, please welcome Disco Stu! And finally, he stands 6 feet, 5 inches, weighs in at 220lbs, and comes from Ann Arbor, Michigan, Supersmark!

*The sounds of Saturday Night Fever, and the descent of a Disco Ball tells of the arrival of the team, who then proceed to Disco dance. Stu and Bio Dome do well, but not so much for Supersmark*

Disco Stu and Evil La Parks start out in the match, with La Parka gaining control via arm drags and the like. Parka then tosses Stu out, and Planchas him, constituting a Lucha tag, per La Parka's use of affirmative action. Brahma Bull and Supermsark come in, and Supersmark, with his vast knowledge of zombie hand-to-hand combat methods, manages to subdue Bull, and nearly gets him with several pin attempts. Seeing trouble, Parka and Fats storm the ring, resulting a brawl.

Once the smoke clears, it is Viva Los Bio Dome & Whitey Fats in the Ring. Suddenly, Whitey "Fats Up" and becomes nearly unmovable, as he almost seemingly bulks up in weight. With this, he bludgeons Viva with Vader Hammers and such, as the others still rage on the outside. However, Fats collapses suddenly from exhaust, and Viva Los Bio Dome capitalizes with a huge leg drop, pinning him for the win.

Michael Muffer- And here are your winners……….VIVA LOS BIO DOME, SUPERSMARK, AND DISCO STU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(After the match Disco Stu and Supersmark are seen on the outside arguing while Viva Los Bio Dome! celebrates in the ring and gets on the mic.)

Brahma, you and I have a match for the Heatz!!1 Championship belt at King of Wrestlecrap. This is a factoid, broseph.

and I don't know about you, but I for one am totally pumped. Yet another opportunity for a little nerdy birdy like myself to prove that I'm a force that must be reckoned with.

and I know you're thinkin' that I'm an easy win, squirelly. I know I don't have the hard candy coating to go along with the milk chocolatey center.

It's okay though, regardless of what it looks like on paper, I want the best man to win that match. Even if that means losing.

Throw me my chips, please.

*Pours bag of chips into his mouth on the top rope.*

Vivaaaaaaaa Los Biooooooooo Domeeeeeeeeeee!

*Dances out to The Safety Dance*


Amigo: Well, it seems that Viva Los Bio Dome and company picked up a win over Brahma Bull and company tonight. Perhaps a sign of things to come at King of Wrestlecrap? Who knows. But, at any rate, that's all the time we have for tonight, I'm the good Doctor.

Sam: And I'm The Manager of Champions, and we hope to see you next week for more exciting Wrestling, right here, on Sunday Night Heatz!



Match Writing Credits- D-Day Dave, wordlifeecw, and Dr. Amigo Jr