Welcome to Sunday Night Heatz!!1 I’m Gorilla Tim Hoss and with me, the incredible Jesse King!
Gorilla, I can‘t believe the action we have scheduled for tonight!
Indeed Jess! Tonight, we will see The Amazing Brahma Bull battle Cageking in our main event. We know the Heatz!!1 Champion Champagne Jay Carroll will be watching this match, and we‘ve heard a rumor that The Pushkilla is in the building!
After what happened at the end of last week‘s show, what will happen if these four meet up tonight?!
We will also see KCB battle Square.
Now that Square has gone solo and dumped his deadweight brother, will he find success by himself?
And in our opening contest, Buck Futter will take on The Headbanger Man! Let’s take it to the ring, where Michael Muffer is standing by.
Buck Futter V. The Headbanger Man
The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
(Wild Child)
Introducing first, from Kent, England and weighing 263 pounds...THE HEADBANGER MAN!
Headbanger grabs the mic from Michael Muffer.
Tonight marks a new chapter in my career. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get noticed around here. Buck Futter, its a pity that you're my first victim on this new path of destruction, but that's the way it is I'm afraid. I came so close to winning the Hardcore Title I could almost taste it, but lately I've been out of contention. Well, I said all along that I would redefine hardcore, and I still intend to. Buck Futter, my friend, I'm Neil Peart and you...you're Phil Collins. You don't have a chance.
('Walker Texas Ranger' Theme)
And his opponent, from Dallas, Texas by way of Tampa, Florida, weighing 265 pounds....BUCK FUTTER!
- The two men lock up and Futter forces Headbanger into the corner. Futter goes for the clean break, but Headbanger hits him with a cheap shot. He goes for another, but it is blocked and Futter wails away with rights of his own. He hits a couple of clotheslines and then a sudden T-bone suplex for 2.
- Headbanger slides out of the ring to regroup. Futter follows him and nails him in the back with a double axehandle off the apron. He lands a knee to the gut, and tries for an Irish whip, but Headbanger reverses it and sends Futter crashing into the steel steps.
- Headbanger gets back into the ring to break the count, and air drums to the fans, who greet him with boo's. Headbanger then rolls Futter back into the ring and hits a legdrop for a near-fall. He hits a couple of swift elbowdrops and then locks in a Camel clutch. The crowd rallies behind Buck, as Headbanger hits a couple of crossfaces. This riles up Futter, who powers out of the Clutch and scores with a back suplex. Futter hits a shining wizard kick for a close near-fall.
- Futter hits an armtwist/sidekick combo, and then a spinebuster. He uncharacteristically goes to the top rope, but misses with a knee drop attempt. Both men slowly get to their feet and Headbanger goes for a Double Bass DDT, but Futter manages to escape. He hits a low kick and goes for the Futternutter Axe Kick, but Headbanger avoids the blow. Headbanger then hits the DDT succesfully for the 3 count.
Here is your winner - THE HEADBANGER MAN!
- Headbanger Man goes to the outside and pulls a table from under the ring. He sets it up inside the ring and hits the Blastbeat Bomb from off the top on Futter, who crashes through the table. Headbanger then walks off down the aisle, laughing.
Well, Headbanger wins the match and sends a message to the locker room afterwards.
Gorilla, Headbanger Man is back on the road to Championships, and nothing is going to stand in his way!
Up next, Square returns to singles action, taking on KCB!
KCB V. Square
The following contest is set for one fall, with a 15 minute time limit!
*My Way*
Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 235 pounds, KCB!
*I Don’t Care*
And his opponent, from Preston, England, weighing in at 210 pounds, SQUARE!!!
*Square enters to a rather mixed reaction*
Square tackles KCB before the bell rings and starts pounding away on him with punches, occasionally throwing in an elbow or a headbutt. KCB fights him off and tries to mount an offense, but every attempt is foiled by Square, who uses raw power to overwhelm KCB. Square slams KCB against the turnbuckle and then powerslam’s him to the mat. Cover.
1
2
Kickout.
Square sends KCB into the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a stiff clothesline, which knock’s him to the mat again. Cover.
1
2
Kickout.
Square pulls KCB up and signals for a brainbuster, but KCB punches his way out of it and hit’s a crossbody on Square, and follows up with a barrage of punches, kicks, and elbows. Square shoves him off, but KCB charges him once again. However, he runs right into a boot to the midsection, followed by the Square-Plosion! Cover!
1!
2!
3!
Here is your winner, SQUARE!!!
And Square with a successful showing here tonight, Jess.
See? Once he dumped that loser brother of his, he started winning again!
Well, I‘m not sure how much one has to do with the other, but regardless, up next is our main event. Now, if you remember on last week‘s Heatz-
Hang on, Gorilla! Looks like something’s going on in the ring!
*Fred G. Neric walks out and whispers something to Michael Muffer. Muffer hands Neric the mic and exit’s the ring*
What’s going on?
This isn’t on my run sheet, Gorilla!
Stevierichardsfan Babyface w/ Eli V.
Fred G. Neric: The following match is scheduled for one fall, with a 30 minute time limit with John Creed as referee. First, hailing from Atlanta, Georgia, weighing at 225lbs, and being accompanied by Eli, he is Stevierichardsfan Babyface!
*The lights dim as "Leave The Memories Alone" plays on the house Mic. Stevie makes his way out, with the somewhat beautiful Eli, and enters the ring standing somewhat nervously*
Well folks, it looks like we have an impromptu match right now!
You didn’t know anything about this Gorilla?
No more than you did, Jess.
Fred G. Neric: And his opponent...... Ladies and Gentlemen, I regret to inform you that I am unsure who Stevie's opponent is. So......
*As Fred is talking, a man in a black singlet emerges with a white towel wrapped around his head from the ring, and grabs Stevie's leg, and forcefully drags Stevie out*
As soon as Stevie falls out, the man takes a Blue Box out and viciously smashes the box over Stevie's head, nearly breaking the object, as Stevie's body goes limp. The man then picks Stevie up, and rams his ribs into the steel post, and drops his heel onto the ribs, somewhat awakening Stevie in pain, but the worst is not yet done. The man then takes a steel pipe and starts to jab it into Stevie's side as Stevie pitifully squeals in pain.
Eli, taking offense to this brutality, tries to distract the man, but he grabs her by the shoulder, and gives her a brutal headbutt, instantly breaking her nose, as blood showers out from it like a spout, as she falls, already knocked out. Then, bringing his attention back to his male victim, as he steps onto the apron, and falls onto Stevie's side with a double stomp, and just as this happens, he man takes a chair out, and places Stevie into a seated position, places the chair on Stevie's ribs, and delivers a low kick, almost surely breaking a rib, as he then soccer kicks Stevie into said ribs, as Stevie starts to rise from his hands and feet.
As Stevie starts to cough up blood, the man drags him into the ring, as he follows behind, as the match finally starts. However, the match is short, as the man applies a Bow-and-Arrow Backbreaker, and the near-comatose Stevie taps out to spare himself from the pain.
Fred G. Neric: At technically 0:13, your winner by submission....... the crazy guy with a towel on his head!
The man then belts Neric in the teeth, and then stomps on him as Neric desperately tries to roll out. After Neric does so, the man then exists the ring, and slides out a table, and places Stevie onto it, and delivers a diving knee drop onto Stevie's ribs, and then drags Stevie out by his hair and drops him ribs-first onto the guard rail with some stomps added as Stevie futility tries to crawl away and Eli, who may have also suffered a concussion from falling onto the concrete lies motionless. Finally, the man takes one last shot at Stevie via a chair, before finally starting to leave as Paramedics come to load Stevie and Eli onto stretchers.
However, just as they get to the entrance ramp, the man re-emerges and chases them off with a baseball bat although one or two of them can not escape, and are knocked loopy from the bat. He then takes Eli's stretcher, and loads her limp body onto Stevie's stretcher, and then rolls it off the massive ramp in a act of sheer sadism. Finally done, the man takes off his heavily-wrapped towel to reveal that it is former commissioner John S. Amigo!
I don't believe it, Jess! Look who's back!
Gorilla, I have a very bad feeling about this. Who know's what's gonna happen with Amigo back in action.
Folks, coming up next is our main event, Cageking taking on The Amazing Brahma Bull!
The Amazing Brahma Bull V. Cageking
*Panic Switch*
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the WWCF Heatz!!1 Champion, “Champagne“ Jay Carroll!
*Carroll walks out and takes a seat at ringside*
The following contest is set for one fall, with a 20 minute time limit.
*Cult of Personality*
Introducing first, from Glasgow, Scotland. He weighs in at 219 pounds, The Amazing Brahma Bull!
*Cageking appears at the top of the stage, rapping his theme song*
And his opponent, from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 295 pounds, Cageking!
Cageking and Bull tie up, with Cageking keeping one eye on Jay Carroll. Bull scoots behind Cageking for a waistlock takedown, but Cageking rolls through with him, creating a pinning combination.
1
Kickout.
Bull is back up and he catches a charging Cageking with a drop toehold into a modified crossface. Cageking hooks the bottom rope with his arm, forcing Bull to break the hold. As Cageking get’s back to his feet, Bull meets him with a vicious-looking knee to the midsection, followed by a slingshot suplex. Cover.
1
2
Kickout.
Bull sit’s Cageking up, then bounces off the ropes with a dropkick to the small of the back. He then drops an elbow across Cageking’s sternum. Cover.
1
2
Kickout.
Bull pick’s Cageking up and props him up on the top turnbuckle. He then climbs up and hit’s a back suplex from the top rope! Cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Bull looks shocked! He start’s Garvin stomping Cageking, then climbs to the middle rope. On his way down though, he’s met by Cageking’s foot, right in the jaw. Both men are down, and the ref begins counting.
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
Bull starts to move, as does Cageking.
6!
7!
Bull starts pulling himself up, as Cageking uses the ropes to do the same.
8!
9!
Both men are back up. Bull charges Cageking, but is met with a flurry of punches, followed by one big knockout shot! Cover!
1!
2!
KICKOUT!
A surprised Cageking whip’s Bull into the ropes and catches him with a shoulder throw, followed by a rolling senton! Cover!
1!
2!
KICKOUT!
Cageking pulls Bull up, but Bull surprises him with a jawbreaker! Bull then bounces off the ropes, but is caught out of nowhere by Cageking with the Overnight Celebrity(RKO)! COVER!!!
1!
2!
Jay Carroll nails Cageking in the back of the head with the Heatz!!1 Championship belt, breaking the pin and causing a disqualification. Carroll helps Bull to his feet and the two methodically work over Cageking, until Pushkilla comes running out with a steel chair! Killa nails Bull with a chairshot, then Carroll. Both fall to the mat and roll out of the ring.
Ladies and gentlemen, due to outside interference, the winner of the match, as the result of a disqualification, Cageking!
(After clearing house and helping Cageking to his feet, PK steps outside the ring and grabs the mic from the play-by-play table)
Pushkilla: Hey champ, you and your little lackey seem to have a bit of a problem when the odds are even up, don't you? You guys swerved me last week but you ought to know I'm always thinking.
(hands mic to CK)
Cageking: Champagne, it's pretty telling that you and Brahma have been jumping people after matches. Makes me wonder, Jay, if you aren't hiding behind your muscle there? What kind of champ are you?
(On the ramp, Brahma Bull looks warily at JC as if the men on the mic may have a point)
(mic to PK)
Pushkilla: You're right about that, Cage. Jay, if you're such a great champ and have the balls for it, how about you go up against Cageking, me, AND Brahma Bull in a scramble cage match at the next PPV to see who is truly worthy to hold the Heatz title?
(crowd pops huge)
Also, Cageking, tonight makes us even in the save department. I appreciated the help last week but when it comes to the scramble match, it's every man for himself. All I care about is that championship belt.
(drops mic on the mat and exits ring)
Wow! What a match we just heard announced for Rumble in the Jungle!
A scramble cage?! This doesn’t bode well for the Champion, Gorilla!
Indeed it doesn’t Jess. We could very well see a title change at Rumble in the Jungle. Folks we’re out of time! For Jesse King, I’m Gorilla Tim Hoss. Good night!
Credits: Headbanger Man, Evil M, Amigo, Pushkilla, and Cageking.
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