Ernest Goes To Wargames
*A desk is set up in the ring, with Commisioner Amigo sat at one side. The bagpipes and drums hit, and out comes Stryker, moving straight to the ring. Michael Muffer goes to announce his entrance, but Stryker has a mic and cuts him off. He steps into the ring and sits at the desk opposite Amigo*
Well, Stryker, it seems that nothing can get thru that head of yours that no amount of protesting about the Title shot will fix this situation. It is set in stone, and will not be reversed. You may speak.
I believe you just gave me my cue to talk. You've had your say, and you tell me I don't get it? I don't think you or anybody else has been listening to what I've said. Maybe I've been too cocky about it, 'Franchise this' and 'Cornerstone that'. So let me cut away the frills and tell you a story.
11 years ago, I was a troubled kid who wanted to be a wrestler. I went to local shows and spoke to the 'big' names there, and begged someone to train me. Only one guy took me up on it, and even he only did it to shut me up. His name was Derek Liddell. Big D. He was past his best, out of condition, and only worked because it was his company and aside from his two sons he was the only draw they had. And he taught me the ropes, he got me bumping, I learned to work and then one day, when I was just 14, he asked me if I wanted to work a tag match with him. I figuratively bit his hand off. Then and there he presented me with a light blue singlet with a bolt of lightning on the front, and told me I was going to be his kayfabe son, Flash Liddell, an idea which his sons had come up with, as I became closer and closer to the family, when I didn't have a family to rely on of my own. I was bad, really bad at everything except a dropkick, a splash and the fact because of my size and youth I could bump like Curt Hennig if he were made of rubber. But Derek nursed me through those matches. He spoke to me, talked to me, called the match for me until I got it. I worked the majority of the match so Derek didn't have to, because he couldn't. He was my mind, and I was his body. He gave me everything I needed to make a go of a childhood dream. But time moved on, and I was getting older, and getting ready to move away for university. Wrestling at that point was the only constant in my life. Drink, drugs, they'd taken hold of me everywhere but the ring. I was leaving, and Derek was losing the only reason he had kept actively working as much as he did. We did the usual thing, I turned on him, we had a feud, Derek had his last singles matches, I had my first really meaningful singles matches. We gimmicked them to hell to make up for both our shortcomings, and they entertained. My last night came around, I put Derek over, and he shook my hand and wished me well, giving me a list of promoters to call when I got to Uni.
When I got to my new promotion, I had the chance to evolve as a character, and that's where my name comes from today, but that clustersmurf of a promotion had no Father figure, noone keeping it together, and the final clean part of my life disappeared. I had a few good matches, but mostly they were badly booked, badly called and badly operated.
Then one day I got a call from Steve, Derek's older son. Derek had died. And that second, I got hit with a wave of guilt I had never experienced before. The last time I had been seen in public with Derek Liddell had been in a ring in anger. It was only an angle, but perception is a huge thing. I left that memory, and worst of all, I never got to say thank you to Derek for what he had done for me, because I didn't know what it was.
Time has passed, and a lot of changes have happened. My body has broken down, and I'm patched up enough to be here at WWCF because I still have that same burning passion for Wrestling as I did so many years ago. And you'd think I'd learned my lesson, but then a few months ago, Square got in my head, and I nearly betrayed the man who gave me my chance to break back into wrestling when he sent me the message saying "Let's form a team".
You offer me this seemingly golden opportunity. King, after his recent comments, that title is a joke, King Motor-Colt has the gall to mock me for not taking it. You threaten to give it to the people who have done nothing but try and tear this promotion apart instead. You think I'm not greatful that you see my World Title potential? I thank you and the board of directors a thousand times for that, but as Milo is still champion, I JUST! CAN'T! TAKE! IT! What we have is short, and do you really think I could step in the ring with a tag partner again, knowing I may never get a chance to thank them properly or work with them again?
You call me disrespectful and ungrateful? How disrespectful and ungrateful is it to try and force the people who made this promotion what it is, and allow you to wield your power, to take up arms against each other? Commissioner? It's a joke. You disgust me, and if you can't see what you're trying to do is wrong, then you have forgotten your roots. You have forgotten what it's like to lace up your boots and step in this ring as a wrestler. You've forgotten loyalty to the people who put you where you are.
You sneer at my principles? That's your prerogative, but you know I'm right. Deep down, you know that sooner or later, someone above your head is going to say "let's give that guy what he wants, he deserves it". But you know what else? You've made your bed too Amigo. And when they say that about me, they're going to say you've failed as a Commissioner, because you didn't recognize it soon enough. Tonight I represent Milo in wargames. I'm standing up for him, for Wrestlecrap, for NFXW, for SWCCW and for Derek Liddell, and I do and always do when I step into this ring. You take advantage of your time left after this though Amigo, and you set me the toughest challenges you can, because the only way you're going to stop me, is by stopping me from stepping out permanently. I will Stry...
ke out. Yes, I've heard it all before. Quite the story, a bit different then how I got in. But, every time you aim for a new challenge, I can not help but crack a snicker deep down inside. For I do not think you truly know what you are doing. In your quest to avoid a title shot, you are making it into a reality. How do you think that title shots are awarded normally. By winning matches, which you are doing. The more challenges you win, the more you edge closer to Milo. Or perhaps Motor-Colt. You can continue it if you want, but it's all up to you.
I tell you what! Motor-Colt cheats his way to a win tonight? I'll take him on for that World Title at the first opportunity. If Milo wins, and I STILL don't get a shot at a different title? You're going to bring a whole world of chaos down own you
*Stryker rises and walks up to Amigo, face to face*
I will! Stryke you out!
*A video plays, showcasing the storylines leading up to tonight’s event*
Michael Muffer: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Ernest Goes To Wargames!
Triple Threat Match To Determine The Number One Contender To The Heatz!!1 Championship: Jonathan Michaels V. KGX V. Brahma Bull
Michael Muffer: This opening match is a TRIPLE THREAT MATCH TO DETERMINE THE NUMBER 1 CONTENDER FOR THE HEATZ!!1 CHAMPIONSHIP, AND IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!
*Dead and Bloated by Stone Temple Pilots kicks in, KGX struts through the curtain and walks confidently down the ramp*
Michael Muffer: Making his way to the ring, from The Emerald City, weighing in at two hundred and TWWWENTY POOOUNDS, K!G!X!
*KGX gestures to the crowd, drawing boos and insults from the fans at ringside. Original Prankster by The Offspring kicks in, breaking KGX's stride. Jonathan Michaels walks to the ring surrounded by dry ice*
Michael Muffer: Introducing our second competitor, from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at two hundred and FORTY! POOOOOUNDS, JOOOOONATHAN MIIIIIIIIIICHAEEEEEEEEEEELS
*As JM reaches the ring, KGX begins gesturing and taunting him, causing JM to raise his fist, but the referee steps between them. Never gonna give you up by Rick Astley blares out, and the crowd boos uproariously as Brahma Bull shuffles his way out.*
Michael Muffer: And our final competitor, from Glasgow, Scotland, weighing in at two hundred and NINETEEN POOOOUUUUNDS, BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAHMAAAAAAAA BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLL
The three men face off in the ring, with KGX still jawing away. The bell rings and both JM and BB rush the cocky KGX and start raining in the punches on him, dropping him to the mat. BB kicks KGX hard in the chest, raising pained "oooohs" from the crowd. JM follows suit, and again BB, with KGX shouting out at the sharp impact of each blow as he gets the air kicked out of him. JM shakes his head, pushes BB to one side and takes a running kick straight to the chest and shoulder of KGX, laying him flat. BB takes exception to being shoved and rushes the much bigger JM throwing uppercuts and knees. JM reels away but BB leaps onto his back and starts savagely biting his ear. JM yells out in pain and struggles to fight off BB, and the referee tries to pull BB off JM's back, but to no avail. JM pushes the referee out of the way, grabs BB's legs from behind his back, and swings him round HARD with a sidewalk slam, crashing him into the mat.
JM goes for the lateral press, with one hand on his bleeding ear, but KGX breaks it up at 1. KGX, with his chest red raw yells "You wanna kick huh?!" and starts throwing vicious kicks to the thighs and sides of JM who retreats to the corner. KGX charges in with a YAKUZA KICK!! JM slumps down in the corner, and KGX charges in with a running shin right to his face.
Turning his attention to BB who is struggling back to his feet KGX goes for the Running Tornado DDT, but BB is light footed enough to step to one side and hit a GAMANGIRI, flooring KGX. He grabs KGX, and SPITS THE ZOMBIE POISON MIST INTO HIS FACE! KGX scrambles around, scratching at his eyes. BB hits an uppercut on him as he staggers away, before running off the ropes AND LAUNCHING INTO A SPEER! He got all his weight behind that, and sends the much bigger man to the floor outside.
BB moves over to the semi-concious JM and drags him to his feet. Kick to the gut, ZOMBIE PEDIGREE!! BB rolls him over...HE'S BITING HIS FACE! BITING HIS FACE AND RAINING IN PUNCHES!! THE REFEREE CALLS FOR THE BELL!!
Michael Muffer: Ladies and Gentleman, the referee has stopped the match. Your winner by way of Technical Knockout, and your NEWWWWWWWWWWW NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE HEATZ!!1 CHAMPIONSHIP, BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAA BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULL!
Number One Contender’s Match For The WWCF World Tag Team Championship: Whitey Fats and TTS V. The Non-American Heroes: Square and Starshine
The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is to determine the number one contenders for the WWCF World Tag Team Championship!
(The NAH’s music hits)
Introducing first, weighing in at a total combined weight of 440 pounds, Square, Starshine, The Non-American Heroes!
(Whitey’s theme plays over the PA)
And their opponents, weighing in at a total combined weight of 570 pounds, the team of Whitey “Daddy Phat Sax” Fats and TTS!
Square and Whitey start off the match for their teams. Square starts off by sending Whitey into the ropes and meeting him on the way back with a dropkick. He follows up with a fist drop, and tags in Starshine. Star works over Whitey’s shoulder with hammer strikes and chops, before applying a shoulder lock. Whitey fights his way loose, but before he can reach his corner, Starshine hit’s the Blindspot, and pulls Whitey back to the NAH’s corner. Square tags back in and continues to work the shoulder of Whitey. Square grapevines the arm and wrenches back, causing Whitey to cry out, but he refuses to submit. With TTS and the crowd rallying behind him, he manages to stand up and slam Square down to the mat. Both men crawl towards their corners. Square tags in Starshine, and Whitey tags TTS.
TTS fires off a series of punches at Starshine, followed by a scoop slam. As Star writhes in pain on the mat, TTS bounces off the ropes with a splash, getting a near fall. Undeterred, TTS picks up Star and hit’s a back suplex for another near fall. TTS lifts up Starshine for another one, but Starshine rakes the eyes and hits an Edge-O-Matic on TTS. He drags him back to his corner and tags Square back in. Square kicks TTS a few times, and taunts him, but TTS surprises him with a rollup, getting a 2-count. Square tries whipping TTS into the ropes, but it’s reversed, and Square takes a big back body drop. With the NAH on the ropes, TTS tags in Whitey to try and end it.
Whitey hit’s a lariat on Square, and follows up with a top rope elbow drop, but Starshine breaks up the pin attempt. TTS comes in and dispatches Starshine, but this allows Square to roll Whitey up. With a handful tights, Square gets the pinfall, and the win for his team.
Here are your winners, and number one contenders to the WWCF Tag Team Championship, Square and Starshine, The Non-American Heroes!
Work Rate Match: Latino Meat V. SuperSmark
The following is a Work Rate match! In this match, closed fists, chokes, and use of the ropes as a weapon will result in an immediate disqualification. There is also a 20 count outside of the ring, instead of the usual 10-count. Each competitor has 3 rope breaks at their disposal. Once they have used them up, they cannot break a hold by grabbing the ropes.
(Dirty Deeds Done Cheap by AC/DC plays over the PA)
Introducing first, from Ann Arbor, Michigan, weighing in at 220 pounds, SuperSmark!
(Back Door Man by The Doors plays)
And his opponent, hailing from Your Mom’s House, and weighing 235 pounds, Latino Meat!
Meat and Smark lock up in the center of the ring. Meat arm drags Smark and ties up the shoulder, but Smark slides out and surprises Meat with a German suplex. A cover only yields a 1-count, however. Meat is up and hit’s a Latin leg sweep, followed by a standing moonsault. Cover, 1-2-kick out. Meat pulls Smark up and goes for a butterfly suplex, but Smark counters with a western lariat, followed by an elbow drop. Cover, 1-2-kick out. Smark locks on the Sharpshooter, but Meat gets to the ropes.
Latino Meat has two rope breaks remaining.
Smark works over Meat’s leg some more, and applies a Figure Four Leg Lock. Meat again reaches the ropes.
Latino Meat now has one rope break remaining.
Smark goes for another Figure Four, but Meat cradles him for a 2-count. Meat starts a comeback, hitting a dropkick, followed by running crescent kick. Meat applies a rear chinlock, but Smark fights out of it, and mounts Meat. With Meat pinned down, Smark begins nailing him with MMA-style elbows to the head. After about 5 strikes, the referee pulls Smark off, and checks on Latino Meat. He’s about to stop the match, but Meat springs to his feet, ready for more. Smark charges, but is met with a back body drop. Meat builds a head of steam, tossing Smark into the corner and hitting a big splash. With Smark reeling, Meat comes off the ropes with a flying shoulder tackle. He goes to the top for the Meat Compactor, but Smark rolls out of the way just in time, causing Meat to eat canvas. Smark moves quickly, locking in the Cattle Mutilation. With the hold cinched in in the center of the ring, Latino Meat struggles to get free, but has nowhere to go, and taps out.
Here is your winner, SuperSmark!
Hardcore Championship Contender’s Match: Eli V. “Evil La Parka” V. Madman Szalinski
Muffer: Ladies and Gentlemen The next match is a triple threat match for the #1 contendership of the Hardcore Title! Introducing First, the former Color man of the WWCF, MADMAN SZALINSKI!
*Madman is seen pushing a shopping cart full of plunder down to the ring*
Muffer: Introducing next, representing The Crusade, EVIL LA PARKA!
*The mysterious hooded figure comes down the ramp carrying his prized weapon, the steal folding chair*
Muffer: And finally, representing the Wargame Warriors, ELI!!!
*Eli comes out flanked by Krazy-E and Stevie, who brought some plunder of their own*
The bell rings and we are underway. Eli starts by going after LaParka with kicks and punches while Madman goes outside the ring and picks up a plate of glass and a few folding chairs. He re-enters the ring and Waffles Eli with the chair.
Madman sets La Parka on the glass between the two chairs and then goes to the top rope and comes off with a huge elbow drop through La Parka and the glass as the crowd comes alive!
Just as Madman begins to crawl over to his masked rival, Eli comes up behind him and begins stabbing Szalinski with a shard of glass right in the forehead, busting him open! Eli then hits a powerbomb onto the back of one of the chairs on Szalinski and goes for the cover.
1..2.. WHAM!!!
The disturbing thud of steel chair meeting spine reverberates throughout the WWCF arena as La Parka crushes Eli with the chair and continues working her over. Stevie then hits the ring and takes out La Parka with a steel pipe in an act not unlike what happened between Eli and The Crusade a few weeks back. All three combantants are down as the crowd comes to their feet.
Szalinski is the first to his feet and is wearing the crimson mask as he gets out of the ring and sets up a table. He also grabs a bunch of tacks and throws them on top of the table. He takes Eli up top and hits a Superplex on her through the table with the tacks on it!!! He crawls over to cover her...
1..2..
the ref's hand never hits the mat for three as La Parka pulls him out of the ring and hits the ref with a steel chair. La Parka then gets in the ring and finds a barb-wire 2X4 and starts going to town on Eli and Madman, busting Eli open and further injuring a wounded Szalinski. La Parka then goes under the ring and finds a can of lighter fluid and sprays it all over his chair while a second official comes out to take the place of his fallen brother.
One little light later and The Flame Chair was given life. He sets up to clock Eli, but she skillfully moves out of the way and kicks La Parka in the gut. While the flaming chair in on the mat she signals for the Machinegun, but is caught in mid air by La Parka who puts Eli back first into the flames with a powerslam. La Parka then hits a recovering Madman in the head with the barb-wire 2x4 one more top before ascending to the top rope. He hits the X-Ray on Eli and gets the 3 count to become the new #1 contender to the Hardcore title.
Muffer: Here is your winner, and number one contender to the WWCF Hardcore Championship, “Evil La Parka”!!!
Match for the Heatz!!1! Championship: Viva Los Bio Dome [c] V. Koda
Viva and Koda lock up at the start with Koda gaining the advantage, putting Viva in a headlock. Viva fights out with a couple of elbows and runs to the ropes. On the rebound he hits Koda with a clothesline but Koda rolls backward with the momentum right back to his feet. He cackles a bit then arm drags Viva to the ground and follows it up with an elbow drop. He goes for another elbow drop but Viva moves out of the way. Both men get back to their feet and have a stare down.
Viva breaks the stare down by charging at Koda. Koda moves out of the way but Viva scouts it and grabs Koda's arm. Viva leaps over the top rope and pulls Koda's arm down, wrenching in on the top rope. Koda's arm snaps back and nearly causes him to fall down as Viva slides back into the ring. Viva grabs the same arm and wrenches it, bringing Koda to his knees. He holds Koda there for a minute but Koda grabs his leg and trips him, breaking the hold.
Koda attacks quickly with a series of punches, trying to wear down Viva's defenses. Viva manages to get to his feet though, and the two start trading vicious punches back and forth. Viva manages to get a slight upper hand, but when he goes for a clothesline Koda hits a belly-to-belly suplex. He picks up Viva and sets up for the Killing Joke but Viva counters and irish whips Koda into the turnbuckle. Viva charges at Koda but Koda moves out of the way at the last minute. Viva rams into the turnbuckle which stuns him. Koda leaps to the second rope and grabs Viva's neck. Koda connects with the Killing Joke by jumping off the top rope and pins Viva for the win.
Muffer: Here is your winner, and the NEW Heatz!!1 Champion, KODA!!!
*Aaron is seen backstage finishing a book*
Tonight is the Wargames match, and I have been able to win myself onto Motor-Colt's team. The other team, especially Seth, thinks that because I'm on this team I must automatically hate them too. This is not the case. I mean hell, Cthulhu is on my team we definitely see eye-to-eye. Seth if you want to fight me we can do so after this match, or during it. I really don't care when, but tonight is a bigger picture. Tonight me and my team will win this match, and once Motor-Colt wins the title as well, it'll be the perfect ending to a great mystery, or as Motor-Colt would say, we'd be the Story on Page One. So Seth, you and your team tonight had better learn to Know Your Enemy.
WWCF World Championship Match: Motor-Colt V. MiLo Duck [c]
*The lights go down sending the crowd into a hush, followed by organ chords. Phantom of the Opera kicks in as the lights go back up, and through the dry ice, Motor-Colt is seen standing with his back to the ramp and the ring, bringing the crowd to their feet. He raises his hand and points his finger skyward, then turns and walks, quickly, intently, focused to the ring. He rolls in and repeats the point in the centre of the ring, and then in a corner. The song fades out, leaving MC in the ring, as the crowd starts the "QUACK QUACK QUACK" chants. Darkwing Duck
kicks in and the crowd explodes again. Milo walks to the ring, staring at Motor-Colt, unwavering. He walks up the steps, then into the ring, climbing a turnbuckle to acknowledge the 'Quacks' of his fans. He stands down too, as both men stretch and limber up.*
Michael Muffer: The following match is scheduled for ONE FALL! And it is for the WRESTLECRAP WRESTLING FEDERATION WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! On my left is the challenger. He hails from The Daily Story, Adelaide, from the land down under, Australia. He is the current reigning KING of WRESTLECRAP! Weighing in tonight at TWO HUNDRED and FORTY SEVEN POUUUNDS...KIIIIIIIIING MOOOOOOOOTOOOOOOOOOOR-COOOOOOOOOLT!!
*The Ref shows the title belt to MC, who nods intently to himself, and points to himself, mouthing "MINE!" at Milo.*
Michael Muffer: And standing on my right, hailing from the town of EMMONS, MINNESOOOTAAA, he is the current, and longest running WRESTLECRAP WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. He weighed in tonight at TWO HUNDRED and FIFTY POOOOOOOOUNDS....MIIIIIIIIIIIIIILOOOOOOOOOOO DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
*The referee holds up the belt to the crowd as Milo stares, unblinking at MC. The ref hands the belt to a ringside official as Michael Muffer leaves the ring*
The bell rings and we're underway with the pair circling the ring, marking out their zones. MC drops to a knee trying to grab the leg of Milo, but he steps handily away. Adopting an MMA stance, Milo feints a kick at MC, but he remains out of reach. Milo offers a hand, in line with Stryker Duck Silence's code of honor, but MC spits on the canvas between them and steps forward. Milo refuses to back down and the pair end up forehead to forehead, nose to nose, leaning hard into each other, both trying to psyche the other into making the first move. MC FEINTS THE EUROPEAN UPPERCUT, making Milo flinch away. MC smirks and rocks back against the ropes, but Milo is wound up and charges MC, and the pair start exchanging blows but are against the ropes and referee is forced to step in and separate them. Both men look like they could snap at any minute...MILO SLAPS MC ACROSS THE FACE! MC charges Milo and the pair lock up. The even weights mean neither gets the advantage, so the pair split and charge at each other again, the clash taking the pair to the mat. Both men twist on the canvas, trying to grab purchase on the other to apply a hold. MC makes a lunge and takes Milo's arm, trying to lock on the armbar, but Milo is quick to his feet, and runs out of the hold. He comes back off the ropes and tries to drop a knee, but MC is up and avoids it and drops an elbow, but Milo is up himself. He charges with a boot, but MC rolls through. MC runs at Milo looking for a European Uppercut, but Milo catches the arm and brings him over with an Armdrag, MC is shocked but charges again and gets caught with another Armdrag. MC once again charges and gets grabbed with another Armdrag, but lands on his feet and tries to take Milo over with a hiptoss which is blocked! Standing switch and Milo tries to take advantage again, but MC slips behind with the waistlock, another standing switch by Milo, but MC throws elbows to Milo's jaw, and switches back again, then TAKES HIM OVER WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX. He keeps his hands locked and bridges for the pin, one, tw..SHOULDER UP. MC rolls over and goes for a second German Suplex, but Milo wraps his leg around MC's and blocks it. MC changes his weight though and goes for RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Lateral press 1-2-Milo kicks out.
MC stands kicks the seated Milo in the chest. He runs and comes back off the ropes with a low dropkick, laying out Milo again. Now, MC is stalking Milo from the corner, he's waiting for the Shining Wizard. Milo stirs and MC charges...BUT MILO GRABS A LEG, AND ROLLS THROUGH WITH THE BOSTON CRAB!! Milo is groggy and doesn't have too much weight on the hold, but MC is still forced to struggle round. He tries to power out of the hold, but it backfires and gets extra weight applied. The quacks ring out from the crowd, as Milo cranks up the hold. It looks as though MC may tap, but he stretches out AND JUST GETS A FINGER TO THE ROPES!! The referee starts the 5 count, and Milo breaks at 4.
Milo is breathing hard as MC rolls beneath the bottom rope to gather himself.
Milo moves in on MC who rolls to the outside. MC holding his lower back, and leans back against the guard rail. Milo runs across the ring, the duck could be about to fly...FLYING CLOTHESLINE THROUGH THE ROPES, SANDWICHING MC AGAINST THE RAIL. MC looks in a bad way, but the suicide dive has taken a lot out of Milo too. He's first to his feet, and drags MC to his feet, rolling him into the ring. Milo follows and scoops up MC and locks the ABDOMINAL STRETCH! MC can't have much left after the punishment his midriff has taken! Milo cranks back on the hold, looking for the submission. The referee is checking to see if MC wants to give up, but he shakes his head. He kicks up, grabs Milo's head and DROPS TO HIS KNEES! JAWBREAKER! He wheels around and hits the DIVING EUROPEAN UPPERCUT!! Cover, 1-2, NO! Milo kicks out.
MC struggles to his feet, wraps his arm around Milo and PULLS BACK INTO THE DRAGON CLUTCH! Milo's turn to struggle now, but he manages to throw a hard elbow to the stomach and then one to the chest of MC breaking the hold! Milo staggers free, but MC comes off the ropes with a Million Dollar Kneelift! Milo could be in trouble here! He gets back to his feet, but MC comes off the ropes and hits the Running Neckbreaker! MC is up top and as Milo rises again, he comes off the top...FLYING FOREARM!! Hook of the leg, 1-2-MILO KICKS UP AND ROLLS THROUGH!! CRADLE ROLL UP!! 1-2-REVERSAL BY MC BACK INTO AN INSIDE CRADLE 1-2-WAIT!! MC HAS SCOOPED UP MILO! INVERTED SUPLEX...STORY ON PAGE ONE!! MC COVERS! 1-2-3! THE REFEREE CALLS FOR THE BELL!
Michael Muffer: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, AND NEEEEEEEEWWWWWW WRESTLECRAP WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION....KING MOOOOOOOOTOOOOOOOOOR-COOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLT!
Wargames Match: Team Motor-Colt(Evil Masked wordlifeecw, Above Average, Cthulhu, Little Naitch, and Aaron Enigma) V. Team MiLo(Stryker Dark Silence, Seth Drakin, Tyfo, The Tank, and grbjazzman)
Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for Wargames! The rules of the match are as follows. One man from each team will begin the match. The match will consist of one 5 minute period and seven 2 minute periods. At the end of the 5 minute period, there will be a coin toss. The team that wins the coin toss will receive a one man advantage throughout the match. Once all ten men have entered, the Match Beyond begins. The match can only be won by submission or surrender once all ten men have entered the match. The winning team members will be named the number one contenders to the WWCF World Heavyweight Championship! And now, introducing our teams…
(Motor-Colt’s music plays, as Above Average and wordlifeecw makes their way to the ring)
Introducing first, representing The Story, Team Motor-Colt members, Evil Masked wordlifeecw and Above Average!
(Cthulhu’s music plays)
Making his way to the ring, a member of Team Motor-Colt, CTHULHU!!!
“Elementary, my dear Watson!”
(Aaron Enigma’s music hits)
Next, Team Motor-Colt member Head Detective Aaron Enigma!
(The Southwest Connection’s music starts, as both members of the SWC enter, with The Sam in tow)
Next, the final member of Team Motor-Colt, representing The Family, LittleNaitch!
(Tyfo and Naitch exchange a tense handshake, as Naitch joins the rest of his team)
And also representing The Family, Team MiLo Duck member, Tyfo!
(Stryker’s music plays)
Representing Team MiLo Duck, he is one half of Stryker Duck Silence, he is Stryker Dark Silence!
(A lion’s roar sounds over the PA system, as grbjazzman’s music hit’s)
Ladies and gentlemen, representing The Pride, Team MiLo Duck member, grbjazzman!
(The Crusade’s music hit’s)
And, representing Team MiLo Duck, Crusade members Seth Drakin, and THE TANK!!!
Above Average and Tyfo enter the ring, and the bell rings, beginning the first period. After a bit of trash talking, the two lockup. Tyfo takes the early advantage, backing Above up against the cage. Tyfo then takes his time working over the Inter-Forum Champion, using chops and kicks to wear him down. Above Average fights back, hitting a pump kick, followed by a clothesline.
1 minute has expired.
Above continues, applying a shoulder breaker. Tyfo fights his way loose, and hit’s a running bulldog. With the Champion down, Tyfo applies the Sharpshooter. Above Average crawls towards the ropes, even though he knows there are no rope breaks in the match.
2 minutes have expired.
Above Average grasps the bottom rope and begins pulling himself up the side of the cage. As he climbs higher, Tyfo is forced to release the hold, and falls to the mat. Above Average drops down next to him. Both men are down, as both teams look on in concern.
3 minutes have expired.
Tyfo and Above Average both try to get to there feet, with Tyfo getting there first. Above Average quickly gets up as well, and the two begin slugging it out. Tyfo gets the better of the exchange, knocking Above Average against the ropes. Tyfo charges, but the Inter-Forum Champion dodges, and Tyfo runs right into the cage.
1 minute remains in the period.
As Above Average and Tyfo continue to fight back and forth inside the cage, Seth Drakin, wordlifeecw, and a referee gather at the timekeeper’s table. The referee tosses the coin, and we hear Seth shout out “Heads!” As Above Average drops Tyfo with a neck breaker, a buzzer goes off.
Ladies and gentlemen, the first period has ended, and Team Motor-Colt has won the coin toss. The second period begins.
After a brief discussion, LittleNaitch reluctantly enters the match. Tyfo is able to take Above Average down with a suplex, then comes face to face with his tag team partner, LittleNaitch. Naitch and Tyfo engage in a staredown, but then shake hands and smile. Naitch pulls Above Average up and holds him in place. Tyfo prepares to chop Above Average, but Naitch suddenly drops his teammate and chops Tyfo. Naitch and Tyfo begin brawling in the first ring, as Above Average rests in the second ring. On the outside, Stryker is impatiently waiting on the steps for the period to end. In the ring, Tyfo takes the advantage against Naitch, as Above Average rejoins the fight. He delivers a backbreaker to Tyfo, as the buzzer sounds.
Ladies and gentlemen, the second period has ended. The third period begins.
Stryker nearly rips the door off of the cage as he rushes in. Stryker’s first move is a single leg takedown on Above Average, then transitioning into a heel hook. As LittleNaitch charges, Tyfo cuts him off with a clothesline, as Above Average yells out in pain. As Stryker cinches the hold, Tyfo repeatedly stomps Above Average. Naitch stops Tyfo with a chop, and then a hiptoss. As Naitch breaks up Stryker’s submission with a kick to the head, the buzzer sounds.
The third period has ended.
Evil Masked wordlifeecw charges into the cage and takes down both Stryker and Tyfo with clotheslines, before checking on Above Average. Naitch works over Stryker’s leg, but Tyfo is able to break it up. Wordlifeecw quickly grabs Tyfo and tosses him into the second ring, and follows him. In the second ring, wordlifeecw punishes Tyfo with a sideslam, followed by a choke slam. Back in the first ring, Above Average is catching his breath, while Stryker batters Naitch with some MMA elbow strikes. With Naitch reeling, Stryker applies a front facelock, into a springboard DDT. The buzzer sounds.
The fourth period has ended.
The Tank enters the second ring and immediately comes to Tyfo’s aid, laying out the Evil Masked One with a spinebuster. Above Average gets to his feet and dives into the second ring, and begins hammering away on Tank with hard strikes. Meanwhile, in the first ring, Stryker whips Naitch into the corner, and goes for a corner splash, but Naitch moves, causing Stryker to run face first into the side of the cage. Naitch pulls Stryker to the top rope and climbs up with a back suplex from the middle rope. Upon the landing, it’s obvious that Stryker has been busted open. Wordlifeecw tosses Tyfo back into the first ring, as the buzzer goes off.
The fifth period has come to an end.
Cthulhu enters the first ring and nearly takes Tyfo’s head off with a lariat, as Naitch stands up. Cthulhu and wordlifeecw come face to face, before Tank slams both men’s heads together. Above Average comes up behind Tank and locks in a full nelson, as wordlifeecw and Cthulhu do the same to Tyfo and Stryker, respectively. With his opponents restrained, Naitch alternates, chopping all three men. As he goes from Tank to Stryker, all three of them lift there legs up and simultaneously kick Naitch away, then finish by flipping over and hitting reverse DDTs on their opponents. The buzzer sounds.
The sixth period has come to an end.
Grbjazzman enters the first ring and goes right after Cthulhu. Jazzman hit’s a barrage of punches, before hitting a butterfly suplex. Meanwhile, in ring two, Above Average and LittleNaitch have cornered Tank and hoist him up on the cage. As they go for a double brain buster, Tyfo and Stryker, having temporarily dispatched wordlifeecw, rush to Tank’s rescue. Tyfo tries to pull Naitch and Above Average down, but get’s kicked away. Tyfo and Stryker double dropkick Above and Naitch, crotching them on the ropes. As they hoist them up on their shoulders, Tank comes off the side of the cage with a double clothesline, felling both men. Wordlifeecw is up and goes after Tank, hitting a sidewalk slam, as the buzzer goes off.
The seventh period has ended.
Aaron Enigma enters as the last member of Team Motor-Colt. Enigma rushes into the first ring, and nails Jazzman with a diving lariat. Tyfo and Stryker rush over to help, but Enigma lays them out with a pair of of dropkicks. Back in ring 2, Above Average and LittleNaitch are trying to get to their feet, as wordlifeecw and Tank slug it out. In the first ring, Cthulhu and Enigma work over Jazzman and Tyfo, while Stryker lays in the corner, disoriented from losing so much blood. Enigma goes for the Brilliant Deduction on Tyfo, who counters it into a Texas Cloverleaf, but Cthulhu breaks it up and tries for the Death Magnetic, only to be met by a kick from Jazzman, who sets up Takin’ The A Train. Naitch pulls Jazzman down into the Figure Four, but Tank traps him in the Kata-hajime. Wordlifeecw stops it and picks up Tank for the Journey to Hell, but Tank counters with a head scissors, only to be met by Above Average’s Superkick. The buzzer sounds, and Seth dives into the ring.
Ladies and gentlemen, eighth period has ended. The Match Beyond begins!
Seth and Above Average duke it out. Seth whips Above into the ropes, but Above ducks the clothesline, and returns off the other side with a leg lariat. Tyfo charges, but AA hit’s another leg lariat. Jazzman tries coming off the top rope, but AA hits another leg lariat, followed by one to Tank. As Above Average soaks in the crowd’s applause, Stryker catches him from behind with the Cyclone Cutter. Stryker collapses in a heap, as Tyfo locks Above in the Cloverleaf. Above Average is about to tap, when Naitch pulls his partner off and locks in the Figure Four. Jazzman breaks it up with a diving leg drop, but wordlifeecw goozles Jazzman. As he brings him up for the Chokeslam, Tank low blows the Evil One, only for Cthulhu to catch him with a piledriver. Seth clotheslines Cthulhu and hit’s the Tale’s End. Enigma comes up behind Seth and applies the Extreme Interrogation! Seth screams in pain as Enigma wrenches him back. Seth goes to tap out, when Enigma suddenly releases the hold.
Stryker has Enigma in the Sleeper! Enigma struggles, but Stryker has cinched in, and Enigma quickly fades. The ref checks the Enigma’s arm, once, and it drops! Twice, and it drops! Three times… Enigma is out!
Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of this match, Seth Drakin, The Tank, Tyfo, grbjazzman, and Stryker, TEAM MILO DUCK!!!
As Stryker collapses from exhaustion, the rest of his team helps him up and hoists him up on their shoulders. Ernest Goes To Wargames ends with Team MiLo celebrating in ring one, as the defeated Team Motor-Colt lays beaten in ring two.
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