April 20, 2009
(Footage is shown last week from Monday Niteraw and the ending where the formation of the Cult Chaos faction took place is shown.)
(The show starts with it's theme music and the new Monday Niteraw logo. We then pan off into the arena where the crowd is exploding with signs and everything. We then go to the announce booth where "Gorilla" Tim Hoss and Jesse King are standing by.)
(We open the show with D-Dave in the center of the ring with the Pharris brothers at each of his side.)
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Nite-Raw and the qualifying rounds of the 2009 Battlebowl tournament! *Crowd Cheers* Now, last week I know you all saw as my corporate rock star Cthulhu took his partner tonight, grbjazzman, to the limit. I was impressed with Jazzman and we had a meeting to discuss what he should do tonight as Cthulhu’s partner but that’s when the meeting got interesting. WE got to talking and I made jazzman an offer that he said he’d wait on to decide. Well, the time has come for the decision Jazzman! What’s it gonna be?
(Harold Faltermeyer’s hit ‘Axel F’ plays through the arena as a pinstripe suit wearing grbjazzman slowly walks down to the ring)
Well, Jazzman, it appears you’ve had a bit of a change of heart since we last talked, care to tell the fans your decision?
You know as well as I do Mr. Dave that I’ve been thinking about this for a while now and tonight I come out here as the newest member of WWCF Corporate! *Crowd boos loudly* You see, I’m getting off the sinking ship of The Pride before it goes down, and you were there for me Dave. You are the one who gave me this shot, so now I’m repaying the favor.
You see, we now live in a time where powerful corporations are crumbling around us. But some are deemed infallible. Well, I’m just the guy that makes it that way. I won’t belittle you morons out here in the seats, I really thought that pride and respect would get me somewhere in this business. You want to know what it got me. I got hooked by with a lunatic and a deserter! Two men who I thought were my friends, now they have nothing. I was the centerpiece of their existence. Without me, they would still be somewhere wrestling in a sweaty gym in California!
And you, the fans of the WWCF, I put my body on the line for people, to entertain you. But what do I hear? Chants for Motor-Colt, for Stryker, for Milo. I was no different than them! All I needed was a chance to break through and people kept holding me back. Well, now with Corporate I can shatter that glass ceiling. You see, I’m what Dave likes to refer to as a back-up plan. My main job is to see Cthulhu through to face Motor-Colt. In return, he’s allowed me to pick an opponent for Smurf The World. Well, I select you M.O.P. I’m going out to show in that match that I don’t respect you. In my world now it’s not about Pride, it’s about Greed.
*Jazzman and D-Dave shake hands and head to the back amidst a chorus of boos and asshole chants from the crowd.*
___________________________________________
Jonathan Michaels and KGX
VS
Viva Los Bio Dome and TTS
(Stone Temple Pilots- Dead and Bloated kicks in, but switches to Foo Fighters' DOA as KGX and Jonathan make their entrance.)
Michael Muffer - The following tag team Battlebowl qualifying match is scheduled for one fall, making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 460 pounds, the team of Jonathan Michaels and KGX.
(Jonathan and KGX are all business as they make their way to the ring, they seem to be discussing strategy as they await their opponents.)
Tim Hoss - We've see Jonathan and KGX attempt to form a bond in recent weeks, let's see if it worked.
(The Safety Dance kicks in as Viva los Bio-Dome and TTS emerge from the back.)
Michael Muffer - And at a combined weight of 485 pounds, the team of Viva Los Bio-Dome and TTS.
TTS charges the ring while Viva is distracted by the lights, TTS turns around to look for Bio-Dome, allowing KGX to hit him with a Running Jumping Tornado DDT.
Jonathan takes his place in the corner, as does Bio-Dome (finally),
KGX continues the assault on TTS, putting him in a Boston Crab, but TTS reverses it into a pinning predicament, and KGX kicks out at 2.
KGX and TTX tag in their partners, and Viva quickly hits a standing frog splash, following it up with a Mexican Surfboard.
KGX jumps in the ring and breaks it up, but just as the ref is giving KGX a warning, Jonathan hits Viva with a Fade To Black, KGX jumps out of the ring and Jonathan pins Viva before TTS can get to him.
Michael Muffer - Here are your Winners........................Jonathan Michaels and KGX!!!!!!!
Jesse King - I guess Jonathan and KGX CAN work together.
(As Jonathan and KGX celebrate, KGX suddenly hits Jonathan with a DDT, he calls for a Mic.)
Like I said, Jonathan, after the match, all bets are off.
(KGX leaves as Jonathan looks on, somewhat confused.)
Tim Hoss - You were saying, Jesse?
Jesse King - Shut up, Gorilla.
___________________________________________
Headbanger Man and Metylerca
VS
The Tank and Head Detective Aaron Enigma
(We Built This City)
Michael Muffer- Introducing first, from Kent, England, weighing 263 pounds, THE HEADBANGER MAN!!!!!!
(Whiplash)
Michael Muffer-And his tag team partner, representing The Pride, from Los Angeles, California, weighing 230 pounds, METYLERCA!
(Know Your Enemy)
Michael Muffer- And their opponents: first, currently residing in Chicago, Illinois and weighing 256 pounds, "HEAD DETECTIVE" AARON ENGIMA!
(Operation Ground And Pound)
Michael Muffer- And his partner, from Los Angeles, California, weighing 265 pounds, THE TANK!
- Tank and Enigma stare each other down, before Enigma agrees to start off with Headbanger Man. Headbanger grabs Tank in a side headlock, but is sprung off the ropes and hit with a couple of armdrags, followed by an armbar from Tank. Headbanger fights out of it and lands a couple of right hands, but he misses with a boot, and Tank sweeps the leg for a 1-count.
- Frustrated, Headbanger tags in Metylerca. Metylerca hits a couple of clotheslines and a dragon screw legwhip. He tries to catapult Tank into the turnbuckles, but Tank lands on the second turnbuckle, and springs off into a cross body for 2. Tank signals for a corkscrew moonsault off the top, but Enigma tags himself in, much to Tank's chagrin.
- Enigma unloads with punches on Metylerca, and then scores with a DDT and then a backbreaker, which both get 2 counts respectively. He goes for Brilliant Deduction, but it is reversed into a pinning combination for a too close for comfort near-fall. Enigma goes for a clothesline, but Metylerca ducks and hits a running enziguri.
- Headbanger Man is tagged in, and hits a couple of dropkicks and a reverse DDT on Enigma. He goes to the top for the Blockbuster, but Enigma reads it and hits a massive superplex. He tags in Tank, while Metylerca comes in for his team.
- They trade blows, until Tank hits a huge spinebuster. He hits a springboard leg drop for 2. He tries for the Ode To Funker, but Enigma gets another sly tag in. Enigma knocks Headbanger off the apron, and then throws his own partner out of the ring.
- Metylerca counters a DDT attempt, but misses with a Lariato! Enigma then locks in the Extreme Interrogation for the submission win.
Michael Muffer- Here are your winners, AARON ENGIMA AND THE TANK!
- After the match, Tank gets in Enigma's face, but is hit with a low blow, and then Enigma escapes up the ramp, raising his arms in triumph and smiling.
Latino Meat and stevierichardsfan babyface
VS
Krazy E-Man and M.O.P.
Michael Muffer- Our next match is one fall and has a twenty minute time limit.
(Latino Meat comes out to his entrance music.)
Michael Muffer- On his way to the ring weighing in at 235 pounds…………………..LATINO MEAT!!!!
(Screamo music starts to play and stevierichardsfan babyface makes his way through the crowd)
Michael Muffer- And his partner for the evening weighting in at 225 pounds…………………STEVIERICHARDS FAN BABYFACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Krazy E-Man’s music plays and he comes out of the crowd.)
Michael Muffer- And their opponents first weighing in at 280 pounds…………..Krazy E-Man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(M.O.P.’s music starts to play and he comes out to the ring.)
Michael Muffer- And his partner for tonight weighing in at 232 pounds……………M.O.P.!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Latino Meat and Krazy E-Man lock up in the middle of the ring. Krazy powers Meat down to the ground. Krazy goes for a double stomp on Meat but he moves out of the way and drop toe holds Krazy and then gets him in a head lock. Krazy powers his way up and send Meat off into the ropes who comes back with a big flying forearm. Krazy rolls over and tags in M.O.P.
M.O.P. gets in and locks up with Meat who he kicks in the stomach with his leg and then DDTs him. He goes for the cover but it is only a two count. M.O.P. picks up Meat and upper cuts him sending Meat intot he rope. M.O.P. charges at Meat but Meat gets out of the way real quick and rolls up M.O.P. into a pin but only gets a two count.
M.O.P. and Meat lock back up and Meat locks in an arm bar on M.O.P. M.O.P. reverses it and kicks Meat in the stomach with a side martial arts kick. Then M.O.P. runs off the ropes and goes for a lariat but Meat ducks it and goes off the ropes and goes for a flying side kick but M.O.P. ducks it. They both get up and punch each other knocking each other down. Both nip up and put their hands up to fight as the crowd starts to cheer at the stalemate. Seeing that they aren’t getting anywhere they both tag in opposite actual tag team partners stevierichardsfan and Krazy E-Man.
Krazy and Stevie get in and look like they are about to fight but at the last second turn and attack each other’s partners. They both run towards them but both M.O.P. and Meat fight them off and send them both over the top rope to the outside. Meat starts to celebrate but M.O.P. turns him around and kicks him in the gut and hits the Turnpike Driver(modified death valley driver). MOP goes for the cover and gets 3.
Michael Muffer- Here our your winners…………….M.O.P. and Krazy E-Man!!!!!!!!!!!
littlenaitch and Stryker Dark Silence
VS
Supersmark and Whitey "Daddy Phat Sax" Fats
Littlenaitch and Supersmark start in the ring. They lock up and naitch locks in a headlock. SS bounces him off the ropes and pushes him off, but naitch hits a shoulder block on the rebound. He picks up SS and throws him into his corner. He starts chopping SS but Stryker tags himself in.
Naitch and Stryker have a quick staredown before Styker starts punching SS in the corner and then pulls him out. He tries to suplex him but SS counters and hits a suplex of his own. He crawls to the corner and tags in Whitey.
Whitey explodes into the ring and start laying a series of punches into Stryker. Stryker blocks one however, kicking Whitey in the midsection and whipping him into the corner. He charges him but Whitey moves and Stryker's shoulder hits the ring post. Grabbing his shoulder in pain he turns around and get hits by a jumping armbreaker from Whitey, who locks in an armbar.
Naitch is smiling as Stryker gets tortured by Whitey. Stryker sees this and uses his free hand to flip off Naitch. Angered, Naitch runs into the ring but the ref stops him. While Naitch is distracting the ref, Stryker delivers a low blow to Whitey. He gets to his feet and tags Naitch in. Naitch and Stryker get in each other's face but suddenly SS comes out and hits both of them. He punches them both down and starts clotheslining them both. Naitch manages to grab SS and they lock up. Stryker sees an opportunity to hit both of them. He charges but Naitch telegraphs it and gets out of the way. Stryker and SS collide and are sent over the top rope. Naitch uses this time to lock Whitey in the Figure-4. Whitey struggles against the submission, eventually flipping it over and reversing it. Naitch breaks it and both men stand up and lock arms. Whitey throws Naitch into the corner. He charges him but Naitch ducks and he rams the turnbuckle. Naitch grabs him in a schoolboy pin and uses the ropes for leverage.
1....2....3!
Michael Muffer- Here our your winners....................Littlenaitch and StrykerDarkSilence!!!!!!!!!!!!
(After the match Whitey argues with the ref as Stryker and Naitch stare each other down.)
Koda89 and Square
VS
Cthulhu aka Providence and grbjazzman
Koda and Cthulhu start the match. Koda laughs to try and taunt Cthulhu, who falls for it and charges him. Koda ducks the clothesline and sweeps Cthulhu's leg. Cthulhu gets back up, visibly enraged and dives at Koda. Koda seemingly gets out of the way, but Cthulhu rolls through the dive, getting up quick and hitting a clothesline on Koda from behind. He elbow drops Koda's spine a couple of time then goes for a pin, but Koda kicks out quickly. He lifts up Koda and throws him into his corner. He walks over and punches him a couple of times then tags in Jazzman.
Jazzman enters the ring kicks Koda in the gut a couple times. He sets up Koda for a superplex, but Koda punches him and throws him to the ground. Jazzman gets up just in time for Koda to hit an overcastle, dropping him to the ground. As Jazzman grabs his head in pain, Koda runs over to tag in Square.
Square looks quickly at Cthulhu before entering the ring and going after Jazzman. He hits a leg drop and quickly puts a headlock on him. Jazzman fights for air as he struggles to his feet. He gets to his feet and elbows Square a couple times, breaking the headlock. He runs off the ropes to go for a clothesline but Square catches him with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Square stomps his head a couple times and goes to the second rope. He jumps for a legdrop but Jazzman rolls out of the way. He jumps to his corner and tags in Cthulhu.
Cthulhu enters and him and Square look apprehensive to attack. Cthulhu extends his hand and Square shakes it. Cthulhu then kicks him in the midsection and drops Square with a DDT. He goes for a pin but Square kicks out at 2. He whips him to the turnbuckle and charges. Square gets out of the way as Cthulhu goes for a splash and hits a neckbreaker on Cthulhu. He staggers to his corner and tags in Koda who runs in a sets up Cthulhu for the Killing Joke. Cthulhu counters it, hitting a back suplex on Koda. He makes his way slowly to Jazzman and tags him in.
Jazzman explodes into the ring while Cthulhu and Square seem to jump off the ring and walk around to each other. Jazzman tries to suplex Koda but Koda counters by hitting the Killing Joke. He can't capitalize on the pin though. He crawls to Jazzman and covers him, but Jazzman kicks out at 2 because of the time. Koda makes his way to the corner only to find it absent. He sees Square and Cthulhu talking and goes to yell at them. However Jazzman gets up and comes from behind and makes Koda Take the A Train. Jazzman pins Koda as Square and Cthulhu continue to chat on the outside.
1...2...3!
Michael Muffer- Here our your winners…………..Cthulhu and grbjazzman!!!!!!!!!!
(After the match Cthulhu enters the ring and shakes hands with Jazzman, Square also enters and offers his hand as well. Jazzman after a few seconds shakes his hand as well.)
The General of the Monkey Army and TromboneMan
VS
MiLo Duck and Starshine
MiLo Duck and The General lock up and The General backs MiLo up into a corner and starts throwing elbows at MiLo's face. The General irish whips MiLo to the other corner and comes running at him but MiLo sees this and spears The General inside out. MiLo tags in his partner Starshine.
Starshine comes in and drop toe holds The General and then moves and and puts a headlock on The General. The General gets to his feet and elbows Starshine breaking the hold but Starshine grabs The Genreal by the hair and ears and sends the General back onto his back. The General rolls away and tags in TromboneMan. TromboneMan comes in and and hits a drop kick on Starshine and then jumps on him and puts Starshine in a crossface. The ref asks Starshine if he wants to give up but Starshine refuses.
TromboneMan tags in The General and holds Starshine for The General to punch him but Starshine gets out of the way just in time and The General knocks out TromboneMan. The General looks confuse as to what he just did and Starshine comes up behind The General and hits The Starshot as The General turns around. Starshine goes for the cover and gets the pin.
Michael Muffer- Here are your winners.....................Starshine and MiLo Duck!!!!!!!!!!!
(After the match as Starshine exits TromboneMan gets in The General's face and starts trash talking him. The General shoves TromboneMan away into the corner and MiLo Duck sees this and drop kicks The General from behind. MiLo hits the Quacker Jack(powerbomb into a corner) on The General and then grabs his big metal chain and wraps it around The General's neck and throws him over the top rope hanging him. TromboneMan grabs his trombone and starts beating on The General as he hangs there. Security comes and breaks it up but it is obvious The General has been beaten very badly.)
___________________________________________
Tyfo and King Motor-Colt
VS
Seth Drakin and Above Average
Tim Hoss – Well Jesse, this is it, the big match that everyone is talking about. Will Tyfo give up his spot in the Battle bowl so his friend Littlenaitch can get a World Title shot or will Tyfo take his chances and go for the Battle bowl instead?
Jesse King – I tell you what Tim, I’d go for the Battle bowl. Naitch will just have to wait.
Tim Hoss – Speaking of Naitch, here he comes to the commentary table to view this match personally. Naitch, welcome to the commentary table.
Naitch - …
Tim Hoss – And it looks like we are about to get the introductions.
Michael Muffer- The Following contest is set for one fall and it is the Tag Team Turmoil match.
(The Prodigy – Poison)
Michael Muffer- Making his way to the ring first, at the height of 6’6, weighing in at 260 lbs. From Belfast, Ireland. He is the current WWCF Inter-Forum Champion, representing The Story, ABOVE AVERAGE!
(Above Average makes his way to the ring with title belt around his waist)
Jesse King – Imagine Tim and Naitch if Average won the Battle bowl, it would d be the first time the Inter-Forum champion will face the World Champion.
Tim Hoss – And not only that, but the World Champion is Motor Colt. And Above Average and Motor Colt are good friends.
(One Winged Angel Remix by The Black Mages)
Michael Muffer- And his Tag Team partner. At the height of 5’11, weighing in at 265 lbs. From Suburbia. He is the “Champion of Honor”, representing The Crusade, SETH DRAKIN!
(Seth Drakin makes his way to the ring with the Title of Honor around his waist)
Tim Hoss –Boy these fans sure do hate Seth Drakin.
Jesse King – It’s because they are jealous of him.
Tim Hoss – I think it’s because Seth is delusional, the man lost to Motor Colt and yet claims to be a champion.
Michael Muffer- And their opponents.
(New Blackjacks theme)
First, at the height of 6’3, weighing in at 245 lbs. From Dallas, Texas. Accompanied by his manager, The Sam, representing “The Family” and “The Southwest Connection”, TYFO
Naitch - …
Tim Hoss – This man has created quite a buzz with his inclusion in this match, especially with you Naitch.
Jesse King – Controversy doesn’t sum it up Tim, Tyfo has his partner’s career in the palm of his hands, and what he decides to do with it is entirely up to him.
Tim Hoss – Well I’m sure The Sam would be whispering to him though
("Phantom of the Opera - Iron Maiden")
and his partner, at the height of 5’11, weighing in at 247 lbs, from Adelaide, Australia. He is the World Heavyweight Champion, representing the Story, KING MOTOR COLT
(bell rings)
Motor Colt and Above Average start this match off. They go for a collared elbow tie up and push each other back. They circle the ring. They again go for a collared elbow tie up and Average gets an arm wrench clinched in on Motor Colt, Motor Colt spins himself around and locks a front face lock on Above Average. Above Average pushes Motor Colt into the turnbuckle. Average stands up and delivers a knife-edge chop to Motor Colt. Motor Colt spins Above Average into the turnbuckle and delivers a knife-edge chop of his own. Both men start chopping each other as they get to the centre of the ring. Motor Colt hits an Uppercut on Above Average as Above Average hits a Discus punch on Motor Colt at the exact same time. Both men are down.
They begin crawling towards their respective partners.
Both men are crawling towards their corners as their partners hold their arms out. As Motor Colt is about to tag in Tyfo, The Sam whispers something to Tyfo. Tyfo steps off the apron as he and The Sam walk away. Motor Colt looks angry. Above Average tags in Seth Drakin who runs in and begins stomping on Motor Colt, Seth lifts Colt to is feet and delivers “The Tale’s End”. Seth calls for “The Inquisition” and locks it in. Motor Colt begins coughing up blood and the referee calls for the bell.
Michael Muffer – As a result of K.O here are your winners, SETH DRAKIN AND ABOVE AVERAGE!
Above Average steps in and checks on Motor Colts condition as Seth Drakin poses for the crowd, pleased with the knowledge that he beat Motor Colt and will be competing in the Battle bowl.
Littlenaitch shakes his head, takes his microphone off and storms up the entrance ramp to Tyfo and The Sam screaming “What the hell are you doing Tyfo”, Tyfo spins around and screams “THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED YOU SON OF A B****!” before The Sam drags Tyfo back up the ramp as a stunned Naitch watches on.
Michael Muffer- The next match is our main event scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit.
(Brahma Bull’s ring music starts up)
Michael Muffer- Introducing first from Glasgow, Scotland weighing in at 219 pounds……….Brahma Bull!!!!!!!!!!!
(Mordecai starts to play on the PA and Legion makes his way out to the ring.)
Michael Muffer- And his partner for the night from The Darkness Within All Of Us……………..Legion!!!!!!!!!!!!
(“Evil La Parka”’s music starts to play.)
Michael Muffer- And their opponents first from Mexico City, Mexico weighing in at 225 pounds………….”Evil La Parka”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(A big fire pyro blast is let off and Thunder by AC/DC starts to play as Evil Masked wordlifeecw makes his way to the ring.)
Michael Muffer- And his partner for tonight from Parts Unknown weighing in at 320 pounds…………..Evil Masked wordlifeecw!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Evil La Parka” and Brahma Bull meet in the ring. They lock up and Brahma Bull forces Parka into a corner and goes for an elbow but Parka moves at the last second and starts chopping Brahma Bull and then monkey tosses him to the other side of the ring. This enrages Brahma Bull who comes charging at Parka but Parka leap frogs and Brahma crashes right into a corner and rolls up Brahma Bull but only gets a two count.
Parka picks up Brahma Bull and goes for a standing hurracuranna but Brahma Bull reverses it into a power bomb. Bull then jumps off the ropes and hits a big leg drop on Parka. Bull goes for the cover but only gets a two count. Bull picks up Parka and drags him to his corner where he delivers a big scoop body slam on him right in front of Legion who he then tags in.
Legion comes in and picks up Parka and smacks him around in their corner for a second and then latches on a big bear hug submission hold. Then Legion takes two steps back and delivers an over the head belly to back suplex. Legion goes for the pin but Parka kicks out at 2. Legion picks up Parka and goes for the Fall From Grace but Parka head butts Legion while in the air and falls to his feet. Legion grabs at Parka but Parka rolls away and tags in Evil Masked wordlifeecw.
Wordlifeecw comes in and thrust punches Legion back into a corner and starts nailing Legion with rights and lefts and then peels him out of the corner and face plants him onto the canvas. Wordlifeecw then picks up Legion and goes for the choke slam but Brahma Bull comes in and dropkicks wordlifeecw. Parka runs in and grabs Brahma Bull and throws him out of the ring. Parka motions for a huge lucha libre move and goes off the ropes and does a suicide dive sending both him and Brahma bull over the guard rail to.
Legion is watching what is going on on the outside and turns around right into a choke slam from wordlifeecw. Wordlifeecw picks up Legion and hits his big finisher Journey To Hell(spinning reverse powerbomb) and gets the 3 count.
Michael Muffer- Here our your winners……………..Evil Masked wordlifeecw and “Evil La Parka”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Parka gets back into the ring to celebrate and the ref raises both his and wordlifeecw’s hands. Then wordlifeecw looks over at La Parka and offers a handshake. “Evil La Parka” accepts and they both raise their hands in victory.)
(Just as wordlifeecw turns away Parka digs into his boot and calls out to wordlifeecw to turn around. Wordlifeecw does and Parka shoots a fire ball right into the face of wordlifeecw. Parka then grabs his patented chair and starts going to town on wordlifeecw. The faction The Story comes out to help wordlifeecw and they all get into the ring and surround “Evil La Parka” but then all of a sudden the lights go out and when they come back on “Evil La Parka” is no where to be seen but we start to hear his familiar voice over the PA system.)
“Evil La Parka”- No longer shall I care about the evils of society. I have learned to accept that I am just as part of society as anyone else and I accept my evil spirits within me. Rising up through the ranks these last few months have only made me stronger. Before I was just a midcarder, but now I know what it shall take to get up to that next level. And that is to take out The Story. I shall take you all out one by one and end The Story once and for all!!!!!!
(Credits and Copyright............Fade To Black)
Match Writing Credits- Jonathan Michaels, Aaron Enigma, Bring Back The Headbangers(Headbanger Man), Starshine, D-Day Dave, and The Sam09
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