The official theme song for Botch at the Beach, Summertime Blues plays, as a vides recapping all the stories and feuds plays, and the camera zooms in on the beach. We then go to a lifeguard’s booth, where Tim Hoss and Jesse King open the show.
Welcome to Botch at the Beach, live from the Parts Unknown Beach, right here in Parts Unknown! I’m Gorilla Tim Hoss, and with me, he dropped his chocolate in my peanut butter, Jesse King!
Gorilla, I am pumped! Tonight is going be HYOOGE!!!!
Can’t argue with ya there, Jess! Tonight, we have the Tag Team Championships being defended, as King Motor-Colt and Above Average defend against Cthulhu and Starshine, Two Guys Who Seriously Rock!
Seth Drakin will return tonight to defend his Championship of Honor against grbjazzman!
In a rematch from last week’s Monday NiteRaw, Viva Los Bio Dome will take on Tyfo in a Falls Count Anywhere match!
TTS will defend his Montego Bay AlcoholicWeight Championship against his former tag team partner Whitey Fats!
Stryker Dark Silence has issued an open challenge, and it was accepted by Pushkilla! We’ll see those two collide later on tonight!
The Heatz!!1 Championship is on the line, as Koda defends against hot young newcomer Champagne Jay Carroll!
And to kick things off, we have Jonathan Michaels defending the WWCF Hardcore Championship against The Boiler Room Brawler!
Hardcore Championship: The Boiler Room Brawler V. Jonathan Michaels ©
Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the WWCF Hardcore Championship, in this contest, there is a moat surrounding the ring, inside the moat are dozens of poisonous jellyfish and ravenous piranhas.
Michael Muffer pulls a large steak out of a bag and tosses it into the moat, immediately we see thrashing in the moat and after a few seconds we see a bone stripped bare of its meat.
I'm So Bad (Baby I Don't Care) - Motörhead
Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 350 pounds, representing WWCF Corporate, Boiler Room Brawler!
Brawler makes his way to the ring, shielding his eyes from the sun, apparently not used to such bright light.
Michael Muffer lays a ladder across the moat for the competitors to cross into the ring, Brawler crosses the ladder and rolls into the ring, waving his pipe around and motioning for his opponent.
DOA - Foo Fighters
And his opponent, from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 235 pounds, he is the WWCF Hardcore Champion, Jonathan Michaels!
Jonathan emerges from the curtain with his signature Tack Chair, and plays to the crowd as he makes his way to the ring.
Jonathan crosses the ladder and enters the ring, as he does so, Brawler attempts to swing the pipe down onto Michaels, but Jonathan rolls out of the way as the bell rings.
Jonathan and Brawler simultaneously lower their weapons and lock up, Brawler knees Jonathan in the gut and hits a belly to belly suplex, Brawler grabs Jonathan's arms and pulls them behind him and pushes his knee into Michaels' back.
Brawler lets go of Michaels and stands up, kicking Michaels in an attempt to roll him out of the ring, but Michaels has the wherewithall to grab the ropes, Brawler picks Michaels up and tries to throw Jonathan out of the ring, but Michaels escapes and hits a neckbreaker on Brawler.
Jonathan takes advantage of the situation and grabs the tack chair, he nails Brawler in the head with the nontack end and tries to push Brawler out of the ring, but Brawler pulls Michaels' leg out from under him and brings Jonathan to the mat.
Both men get to his feet and exchange blows, Brawler grabs Michaels' throat and choke slams him, Brawler goes for the pin.
1
2
Michaels rolls out and reverses the pin.
1
2
KICKOUT!!
Brawler tackles Michaels into the corner and hits several chops on Jonathan, he tries to whip Michaels into the opposite corner, but Michaels reverses and throws Brawler into the corner face first.
Michaels grabs the tack chair and waits for Brawler to turn around, when he does, Michaels tosses the chair to Brawler, Brawler catches the chair with the tacks facing him and Michaels hits the Fade to Black, driving the tacks into Brawler's face and chest.
Brawler screams in agony and Michaels grabs Brawler's pipe, Brawler finally frees himself from the chair, Michaels drives the pipe into BRB's gut and brings it down onto his head.
Michaels then grabs Brawler by the ankles and pushes him slowly out of the ring until his head is just above the water.
Brawler comes to and sees the water, Michaels lowers Brawler's head into the water for a second and pulls him quickly back out.
The microphone picks up Michael's taunts.
Do you give up, or do you want to go in again?
Do your worst, I ain't scared of you!
Michaels lowers Brawler in again, we see bubbles and after about four seconds Brawler taps on the water.
Jonathan pulls him back out and we can see a piranha still clinging to Brawler's ear and a couple of jellyfish stings on his face.
Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, and STILL Hardcore Champion, Jonathan Michaels!
The referees check on Brawler as Michaels raises the tack chair in victory.
Well, King, that was a hell of an opening match.
It sure was, and now the referees are going to drain the moat and put the Piranhas and Jellyfish safely into their tanks.
As the referees drain the moat, A masked man runs to the ring, over the ladder and into the ring, where he tackles Michaels, punching him repeatedly.
The masked man stands up and calls for a mic.
You have seven days, Michaels, next week on NiteRaw, you will pay for your disobedience.
The masked man makes his exit as Michaels pulls himself up with the ropes.
Who was that masked man?!
I have a feeling we might find out sooner rather than later!
Up next, Jay Carroll challenges Koda for the WWCF Heatz!!1 Championship!
Heatz!!1 Championship: Champagne Jay Carroll V. Koda ©
Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall, with a 20 minute time limit. And it is for the WWCF Heatz!!1 Championship!
*Panic Switch*
Introducing first. From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 215 pounds, “Champagne” Jay Carroll!
Jay walks to the ring, carrying a bottle of champagne, with a lovely beach bunny on each arm. As he enters the ring, he removes his suit and hands it to the ladies. The ladies exit as Carroll prepares for the match.
*Agent of Chaos*
And his opponent! From Gotham, weighing in at 223 pounds, he is the WWCF Heatz!!1 Champion, KODA!!!!
Koda walks down to the ring, the Heatz!!1 Championship draped over his shoulder. He offers handshakes to the crowd, but the few people who accept are shocked by a joy buzzer.
The bell rings and Koda immediately charges at Carroll. Carroll sidesteps, and Koda hit’s the ropes. As he bounces back, Carroll drop toehold’s him, and then armdrag’s him as he get’s up. Koda get’s to his feet, but is met with a dropkick, which sends him flying through the ropes and out of the ring. Carroll struts around the ring, bragging about how great he is, while Koda tries to regroup on the outside. The ref begins his count.
1!
2!
3!
Carroll rolls to the outside and sucker punches Koda, then tosses him back in the ring, breaking the count. Carroll applies a hammerlock in the ring, but Koda reverses it into a hammerlock of his own, then transitions into a side headlock. Carroll tries to shoot him off into the ropes, but Koda holds him firm. Carroll lifts Koda up for a back suplex, but Koda flips out of it and lands on his feet. Carroll turns to face Koda, but is met with a series of punches, then a clothesline. As Carroll get’s up, Koda meets him with a second clothesline, then hit’s the Arkham Roundup. First cover of the match.
1
2
Kickout!
Koda pulls Carroll up and goes for the Arkham Straightjacket, but Carroll counters it with a low blow, which goes undetected by the referee. Jay then follows up with a running knee and then a snap suplex. Cover.
1
2
Kickout!
Jay pulls Koda up into a sitting position and locks in a headlock. The referee checks to make sure it isn’t a choke, and then asks Koda if he gives up. Koda says no, but Carroll shifts into a choke while the ref isn’t watching. The ref moves to see if it’s a choke, but Carroll resumes the headlock. The ref asks Koda again, but the Champion still refuses to give up. Carroll transitions into a choke again, but this time the ref catches him and begins a count.
1!
2!
3!
4!
Carroll breaks the hold and starts kicking and stomping Koda. The ref tries to pull him away, but Carroll stays on the Champion. The ref starts the count again.
1!
2!
3!
4!
Carroll pulls back. Koda tries to get to his feet, but Carroll cut’s him off with a Lariat! Cover!
1!
2!
KICKOUT!!!
Carroll is in shock as the Champion still has some fight left in him. Carroll set’s him up for a vertical suplex, but Koda blocks it, and hit’s a wrap around neck breaker! But the Champion can’t follow up immediately! Both men are down and the ref starts counting.
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
Koda’s pulling himself up, as Carroll tries to get to his knees.
6!
7!
Koda’s up, breaking the count. Koda catches Carroll with a kneelift, followed by an elevated DDT. Cover!
1!
2!
KICKOUT!!!
Koda drops an elbow on Carroll and then goes for a split-legged corkscrew moonsault, but Carroll rolls out of the way! Both men are down as the ref begins the count again.
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
Both men are pushing up.
6!
7!
8!
Both men are up at the same time. They meet center ring and exchange punches. Carroll is winning the exchange, but Koda surprises Carroll with a thumb to the eye! Carroll clutches his eye in pain, as Koda locks in the Long Halloween! Carroll struggles, unable to see, as well as having his circulation cut off by the submission. Carroll drops to one knee, as Koda tries to sink in the move. Suddenly, Carroll get’s back up to his feet, and backs up into the corner, but Koda holds on! Carroll backs up a couple more times, then flips Koda over his shoulder, freeing himself from the hold. Koda’s back on his feet and he charges at Carroll, but Jay meets him with a boot to the midsection, followed by the Last Call! Cover!
1!
2!
3!
Here is your winner, and the NEW WWCF Heatz!!1 Champion, “Champagne” Jay Carroll!
The referee hands Jay the belt. Jay holds it up high, as the beach bunnies run out with bottles of champagne. They pour them over Carroll to celebrate, as Koda rolls to the outside and walks up the ramp.
What a win that was for Jay Carroll!
I’ve said it all along, Gorilla! This kid is destined to do great things!
Well, congratulations to the new Heatz!!1 Champion! Up next, Stryker’s open challenge has been accepted. Can Pushkilla step up and defeat the veteran in his first pay per view appearance? We’re about to find out!
Stryker Dark Silence V. Pushkilla
The following match is going to be competed under Pure rules and is scheduled for one fall.
*Supernaut by Black Sabbath plays as the red lights hit. Pushkilla Mako eventually makes his way out and down the ramp*
Approaching the ring, weighing in tonight at TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY FIVE POUNDS, he hails from The First State...THE PUSHKILLA, MAAAAAAKOOOOOOOOO!!
*PKM gets into the ring and bounces off the ropes to limber up, as the Bagpipes begin to trill, and Stryker appears on the ramp*
And his opponent, weighing in tonight at TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY POUNDS, and hailing from The Depths of the Soul...STRRRRYKER DARK SIIIIIIILENCE!!
*Stryker moves quickly to the ring, wipes his feet on the apron and goes through the ropes and straight up to Pushkilla, right in his face as he removes his kilt, PKM just stares back, not intimidated.*
The bell rings and the pair circle, feeling each other out, looking for an opening. Stryker throws a kick, but PKM moves out of the way. He charges Stryker, and the pair lock up, collar and elbow. PKM's slight weight advantage allows him to push Stryker back a step, but Stryker goes behind quick with a waist lock. Standing switch by PKM and he tries the takedown, but Stryker throws an elbow behind, breaking his grip. Stryker runs and comes back off the ropes knocking PKM off his feet with a shoulder block. He drops the elbow, but PKM rolls out of the way. He throws a kick at the downed Stryker, but he avoids it and sweeps PKM's standing leg. Lateral Press, one count and kickout. Stryker goes for the leg again, but PKM is quick to counter with a Rollup, one, two, Stryker kicks out. He pops up quick on his feet and offers PKM his hand. The pair shake to applause, and then circle again. Stryker puts out his hand for the test of strength and PKM accepts and they lock fingers. PKM is clever and twists out into a Wristlock. Stryker twists and tries to get out of the lock, but it's held tight. Stryker throws a chop across his chest, and loosens the grip enough to twist behind and put PKM in a Hammerlock. He tries to switch it into the Sleeper, but PKM pulls him over with a Snapmare, and applies a Seated Chinlock. He digs his knee into Stryker's back and pulls hard stretching him out. Stryker throws an arm round and wraps it round the inside of PKM's knee and pulls the leg out straight with a modified Knee Stretch. He rolls back over PKM with a cover, but he kicks out with authority. Stryker is on PKM as he gets up and starts throwing his kicks and palm strikes sending him reeling into the corner. He throws another chop across PKM's chest and goes to whip him across the ring, but PKM reverses the whip. Stryker bumps uncomfortably out of the corner, but he comes back with a Thesz Press and Forearms. Another Lateral Press and a two count, but PKM is up quickly and he throws a kick round the corner and catches Stryker in the back where he hit the turnbuckle, sending him to a knee. PKM, like a flash is on Stryker and behind him, and throws a vicious German Suplex. Cover and hook of the leg, but Stryker is out at two, looking shocked. PKM drags him up to his feet and throws a Belly to Belly Suplex. He pounces onto Stryker and tries to lock on the Rings of Saturn...LOCKED IN! Stryker struggles to break free of the hold as PKM cranks it up. Stryker fights and writhes, and reaches.......GETS TO THE ROPES! He only has two rope breaks remaining, as the ref forces PKM to break the hold. PKM wants to take advantage of the damage done and rushes Stryker as he gets to his feet, but Stryker moves with the Back Body Drop! He rushes off the ropes and hits PKM with the Low Diving European Uppercut to the back of PKM's head. He rushes off the ropes again with a Front Dropkick to the side of his face. Stryker rounds on PKM now with the Seated Full Nelson, shaking PKM hard, but he has the presence of mind to roll his weight onto the arm he locked in the ROS, forcing the break. Stryker is up, looks to throw a forearm, but PKM is in quickly and BELLY TO BELLY OUT OF NOWHERE! Katahajime attempt, we could have a shock...NO! Stryker pulls PKM over with a modified Hip Toss...SLEEPER LOCKED IN. PKM is disoriented already from the head shots...the referee is in...the arm drops once....twice....three times...IT'S OVER!
HERE IS YOUR WINNER...STRRRRYKER DARRRRK SIIIIIILENCCE!!
Stryker has his arm raised, but he shrugs off the ref, and squats down to catch his breath. He walks over and stands over Pushkilla Mako as he stands, and offers his hand...they shake. Stryker raises Mako's arm, and he returns the favour in an exchange of respect. The Bagpipes trill as Mako leaves the ring and Stryker celebrates his victorious in ring return.
Nice display of sportsmanship from Stryker.
And how about Pushkilla? I think he’ll go somewhere in this company!
No doubt after that match!
Next, former partners collide, as Whitey Fats battles TTS for the Montego Bay AlcoholicWeight Championship.
We understand that TTS has something to say before this match, so let’s take it to the back with Fred G. Neric!
I am here with the Montego Bay Alchoweight Champion, who in just a few moments will be facing his former tag team partner and the man who stole his title on Monday, Whitey.
Y'know sumtin been a buggin ma
Fer a Long,Long Time
It bugs mah at nite and naw I'm gettin it off-a mah chest
Mista G.NERIC!
How'd ya get off mah Truck?
I bolted ya on there dayum good
.............I
AND ON THAT NOTE!
WHITEY YA CALL YERSELF DA FAT WAN!
I SAY DAT CANNA BE A MORE PROPRIATE DEN ANYTING DIS COUNTRYIFIED MON CAN COMIN UP WIT
Ya a Fat's sack a crap Whitey
I workin me way all da way from da bottom a'dees place
I dug outta de Dirt and s***e and stickin mah hands through De Fiev 'undred Miyas off de Shiyot and grabbin da gold alonga side ya
But den
DEN YA DONE SCREWED UP!
YA MESSED UP FA YASELF AND YA RUINED E'RVYTING WE WORKED FA!
An if dat ain't enuff ya gottin yaself Fiya'd
AN I DAMN WELL NEARLA GOT'S FIYA'D LONGSIDE YA!
But I wad'nt takin dat
I workin too hard
I WORKIN TOO LONG FA YA T FOCK E'RVRY'TING I WORKED FA!
I haddin ta work fa dem in da Carprate cause Ya screwed me up
I losin da Tie'tle I workin sa lawng fa
But MISTA SAM!
Mista Sam seein dat an he helpin meh
He givin me dat Montego Bay Title
And den?
DEN YA GOIN FA DE CLEAN SWEEP
YA TRY TA MAKE DIS TWO TIE'TLES Y ACOST MAH!
DAT AIN'T HAPPNIN!
Back to you at ringside.
Montego Bay AlcoholicWeight Championship: Whitey Fats V. TTS ©
The following contest is set for 1 fall and it is for the Montego Bay Alchoweight Championship.
Introducing first,
(God's Gonna Cut You Down - Johnny Cash)
At the height of 6’3, weighing in at 290 lbs. Representing WWCF Corporate. From Davie, Florida. He is the current Montego Bay Alchoweight Champion, TTS!
(TTS makes his way to the ring without his title belt. He looks angry and even rips a fans sign up on the way to the ring)
And his opponent,
(Simply the Best – Tina Turner)
At the height of 6’2, weighing in at 280 lbs. From Starke, Florida. WHITEY “DADDY PHAT SAX” FATS!
(Whitey runs down to the ring with the belt in hand. TTS doesn’t take kindly to this and lunges at Whitey. Whitey begins brawling with TTS. TTS starts brawling back and the bell sounds.
Both men are throwing rights and lefts at a furious pace until Whitey ducks TTS right hand and try’s to lift TTS up for a Burning Hammer. TTS gouges the eyes of Whitey and rolls out of the ring.
TTS grabs the Montego Bay Alchoweight Title and heads towards the back. The referee starts a 10 count.
1
2
3
4
5
6
Whitey jumps out of the ring and chases after TTS. Whitey catches up to TTS and grabs him by the collar of his shirt and sends him back into the ring. Whitey slides into the ring and comes towards TTS who is begging Whitey for forgiveness. As Whitey is about to attack TTS, TTS rakes the eyes of Whitey before hitting a back body drop. TTS goes for a quick pin.
1
2
2 count.
TTS berates the referee for a moment before grabbing Whitey and bringing Whitey to his feet. TTS hits the ropes and attempts a clothesline but Whitey ducks it and locks TTS in for the Burning Hammer. Whitey lifts TTS over his shoulders and drops him down to connect the Burning Hammer. This causes a massive pop from the crowd. Whitey goes for a pin.
1
2
Whitey lifts TTS’s shoulders off the canvas
Whitey says, “It’s not over yet Boy!” Whitey lifts TTS up and hits another Burning Hammer. Whitey looks at the crowd and says “One More?” This elicits a response from the crowd.
Suddenly Bill and Phil Farris run down to the ring and distract Whitey, who knocks both Farris’s off the apron. As the referee berates the Farris’s to get back to the locker room, Boiler Room Brawler comes from underneath the ring and throws a fireball into the face of Whitey. Whitey is on the canvas kicking and screaming while holding his face. Boiler Room Brawler drags TTS on top of Whitey. Boiler Room Brawler jumps out of the ring as the referee returns to the ring to see TTS with his arm over Whitey. The referee makes the pin.
1
2
3
The winner of this match, and STILL Montego Bay Alchoweight champion. TTS!
Boiler Room Brawler helps TTS to the back as the medics check to see if Whitey is ok.
Whitey pushes the medics back and claws his way out of the ring. Whitey makes it out of the ring and limps back to the locker room as officials try to help Whitey who still refuses their help. The audience cheers for Whitey.
Whitey Fats showing his fortitude by refusing medical assistance, despite having a fireball thrown in his face!
Fortitude, shmortitude, he still lost the match!
Well, regardless, I have a feeling this issue between Whitey and TTS is far from over!
Well, Whitey lost the match, so I don’t see what TTS has left to prove. He needs to move on to bigger things, like maybe making G. Neric into a hood ornament again!
…ANYWAY. Up next, Viva Los Bio Dome battles Tyfo and this time, it’s falls count anywhere!
We may not have had a clear winner last week, but tonight, they have no rules and no limits. This is gonna be good!
Falls Count Anywhere match: Viva Los Bio Dome V. Tyfo
*The Safety Dance*
Hailing from Hayward, California at 195 pounds... Viva Los Bio Dome!
Viva enters the ring, turns towards the entrance with a scowl on his face.
*The New Blackjacks WWF Theme*
Out of Dallas, Texas at 245 pounds.... Tyfo!
You've gotta be excited about this one, King! We will finally get a clear cut winner after being denied one on Monday Niteraw last week!
*A video is shown detailing the double count out draw from last week*
You're right, 'Rilla! This is going to be a great match. Neither of these guys have an ounce of quit in them, and I wouldn't be surprised if we see someone leaving the building in a stretcher!
*The ref motions for the bell ring, and we're off*
The match starts with a lock up. Tyfo smiles, drops down, and nails Viva with a low blow. Tyfo picks up Viva, and throws him out of the ring. Tyfo motions to smash Viva's face into the ring post, but Viva defends against it and hits Tyfo with a couple of elbows. Viva turns around and slaps Tyfo with enough velocity to hear it ring throughout the building.
As Tyfo grips his face, Viva charges him with a lou thesz press and begins ravaging him with several punches. Eventually, Tyfo regains his composure, kicks Viva off, and stands up. Viva goes for a punch, Tyfo ducks it, and kicks Viva as he's turning around. Tyfo moves viva to the entrance ramp, and nails him with a double under hook DDT right into the pavement. Tyfo goes for a pin....
ONE!!!....
TWO!!!....
TH-...
Viva kicks out. He begins trying to get up. He's groggy, and Tyfo takes advantage, with a kick to the gut. Tyfo goes for a clothesline, which Viva ducks. Viva charges him and nails him with a vicious drop kick, followed by a knee drop. Viva picks up Tyfo, and takes him to the top of the ramp. Viva clotheslines Tyfo and then hits him with a standing frog splash. Viva begins stomping Tyfo. Tyfo catches Viva's foot, and throws him off. Tyfo stands up and destroys Viva with a running bulldog.
Viva is now bleeding, and Tyfo begins laughing.
"I told you this wasn't going to be easy, didn't I? Didn't I? Now you're in for it..."
Tyfo grabs Viva by the hair and drags him in to the back. He throws Viva off of a dumpster in the back. Tyfo grabs a nearby garbage can and goes to hit Viva with it, but Viva stops him with a kick to the knee. Tyfo collapses. Viva begins stomping that knee.
Viva grabs for the garbage can, and smacks Tyfo in the knee with it. Tyfo is writhing in pain. He's trying to get up, but Viva is ready for him, and hits him with the Purple Sticky punch.
Viva drags him to a table, and sets him up for the Bio-Dome. As he's in mid air, Tyfo fights it off. Viva hits him with a couple of knees in the stomach, and lifts him up for the Bio-dome for a second time. This time, he hits it.
Tyfo is out on that table, and Viva goes for the pin.
ONE!!!
TWO!!!
THREE!!!
Your winner, Viva Los Bio Dome!
Viva Los Bio Dome with the upset! He has now established himself as an issue The Corporation need to address, and fast!
You're right, Hoss! It was tough, and Tyfo fought him like a bear, but Viva had enough in the tank at the end to take it! The Corporation better look out now!
*Bagpipes blare through the arena and Stryker appears on the stage clapping BioDome's efforts. He takes a mic and the music drops*
Impressive. Very very impressive. You've done well on your own here. You're showing the potential I spotted in you and the development I started when I spat that blinding mist in your eyes, lo those many weeks ago. Cult Chaos was stopped because of fear within the company as to what we could do, and it got me wondering quite what we could have done. So next week on NiteRaw...why don't you show me what you could have done...IN A CHAIN MATCH!
Viva just nods, never taking his eyes off of Stryker.
WHOA!!! A chain match, next week on NiteRaw!
Gorilla, if we thought tonight was brutal, just imagine what next Monday will be like!
Folks, up next we have the return of Seth Drakin, as he will defend his Championship of Honor against Grbjazzman, who earned this opportunity by winning an eight man, single elimination tournament.
Gorilla, these two have had quite a war of the words in recent weeks, but can either man back up their talk with action?
Jess, I don’t think I even need to answer that. Just watch any match involving either of them, and you’ll see that they certainly can.
Well, we’ll see Gorilla.
In any case, the time for talking is over, because Seth Drakin V. Grbjazzman is NEXT!!!!
Championship of Honor: grbjazzman V. Seth Drakin ©
Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for 1 fall, and it is for the Championship of Honor! Introducing first, the challenger, from Upstate New York... GRBJAZZMAN!!!
*'Sing, Sang, Sung' is heard on the PA as Jazzman makes his way to the ring, strutting his stuff and living it up with the fans*
And now, his opponent. From Suburbia, he is the current and defending Champion of Honor 'The Puppet Master' Seth Drakin!
*'Blow Me Away' is nearly drowned out by the deafening boos of the crowd as Seth Drakin makes his way out to the ring with the Championship of Honor hanging loosely around his waist. When he enters the ring, he removes the belt giving it to the Referee in charge who holds in in the air as the bell rings*
The two men meet in the center of the ring before moving to a collar and elbow tie up with Seth pushing the smaller Jazzman back into the corner. Seth holds him in the corner in the collar and elbow as the ref administers a 5 count with Seth breaks cleanly from at 3. Jazzman walks slowly out to the center of the ring as the two tie up again with Seth gaining the advantage throwing on a side headlock.
Jazzman sends Seth into the ropes and drops down, while Seth runs over him, A leapfrog by Jazzman greets Seth's next pass and then Jazzman takes Seth over with a Japanese armdrag and throws on a armlock. Seth counters the armlock and applies a headscissors which Jazzman nips out of. The two men make it back to their feet when Seth takes Jazzman over with a armdrag, which leads to Jazzman's headscissors counter and a nip up by Seth. As the crowd roars in approval!
The two men go for a handshake in the center of the ring but Seth rakes the eyes of Jazzman before taking him over with a single leg takedown. Seth throws on a leg lock in an attempt to crown that faster, more agile Jazzman. Jazzman struggles to the ropes and forces the clean break by grabbing onto the ropes. Jazzman works his way up to the feet as Seth charges him and Jazzman responds with a Tilt-A-Whirl backbreaker. He drops down for the cover but only gets two.
As jazzman stands up he hits the ropes looking to hit Seth with his Yakuza Kick, but Seth drops down and sweeps the back leg, leading to a roll up and a quick 2 count for the champion. Seth beats Jazzman to his feet and nails him with a clothesline. Seth drops down near Jazzman and puts him in a sleeper hold. The crowd cheers on Jazzman as he looks to be fading
*Commentary break*
The ref goes to check on Jazzman and holds his hand up for it to fall, but it stays in the air, as the crowd roars! Jazzman works back to his feet and rams Seth into a corner. He runs at Seth and nails the Yakuza kick before hitting a Butterfly Suplex that he floats over into a cover, that only gets two!
Jazzman makes a motion signifying to the crowd that the end is near. He sets up Seth in a powerbomb position.
Hoss: What's going on here Jesse? I've never seen Jazzman do this!
Jesse: I don't know, but remember, Jazzman said he'd have some new surprises for Seth
Jazzman takes Seth up, but instead of a regular powerbomb, he turns it into a Alley Oop! Jazzman then floats over and locks in a single leg crab as the crowd goes nuts! Seth is right in the center of the ring and is feeling the pain.
Seth has a history of tapping out in big matches Jesse, could this be another one?!?!?
Gorilla's question is answered as Seth crawls to the ropes and gets a hold of the bottom rope. Jazzman lets the hold go and sends Seth off the ropes. He puts his head down looking for a back body drop, but Seth comes running at full speed and turns it into The Tales End!
Good god Gorilla! The Tales End out of nowhere! Seth needs to make a cover!
Drakin crawls over to the fallen Jazzman and drapes his arm over him. 1...2... The crowd goes nuts as Jazzman kicks out! But instead of looking distraught Seth rolls Jazzman over and locks on The Inquisition. Jazzman looks haggard and Seth is screaming at him "This is what you wanted, to be a man! Come on Jazzman, BE A MAN" The crowd falls silent as Seth continues to apply pressure and Jazzman continues to fade. The ref goes to check Jazzman and the arm drops once, the arm drops twice... BUT THE ARM DOESN'T DROP THE THIRD TIME!
Jesse, are you seeing what I'm seeing? Jazzman is still in this one!
Jazzman begins to stir and begins to stand up with Seth keeping The Inquisition locked in. Jazzman nails Seth with a backpack stunner out of The Inquisition and crawls over to make a cover. The refs hand hits the mat, once, twice... but Seth just gets the shoulder up!
As the crowd beings to chant 'Match of The Year', Jazzman sends Seth into the ropes and nails Seth with 'Takin' the A Train'!
That's got to be it Gorilla. Jazzman has this one in the bag!
Jazzman goes for the cover, But Seth kicks out AT 1!! Seth gets to his feet and points to the ceiling signifying the existence of The Higher Power before yelling at Jazzman "I"M STILL STANDING!. He send Jazzman off the ropes and Seth sets him up for a Powerslam, But Jazzman counters with the Mexican move known as La MÃstica!
Another Surprise by Jazzman! He calls this move 'Mercy, Mercy, Mercy'
A classic Cannonball Adderly song Gorilla! But is it enough to make Seth tap?
Drakin struggles toward the ropes, but can't reach to get it as Jazzman drags Seth back to the center of the ring! The crowd beings to rhythmically chant "Tap, Tap, Tap" as Seth continues to squirm underneath the armbar of pressure of Jazzman's hold. Seth again wriggles his way to the rope but can just shift his body in an attempt to get a foot on the rope. In that moment, you can hear a pindrop as Seth's hand hits the mat repeatedly as the crowd bursts into a raucous cheer.
Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner... AND NEW Champion of Honor... GRBJAZZMAN!!!!!!!
Jazzman released the hold and celebrates his first ever title win in the ring as we see highlights of the match, including the ending...
What a minute Gorilla! Can you guys in the truck play that back?
Jesse, do you see what I see?
We zoom in on the highlight to see that Seth's foot appears to be under the rope as he taps out.
I wonder what Seth will have to say on Monday to this Gorilla, but until then it looks like GrbJazzman is the Champion of Honor!
Well, despite the controversial circumstances, congratulations to Jazzman on his first Championship win!
Now, Gorilla. How about our main event tonight?
Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever, the WWCF World Tag Team Championship will be defended in the main event of a pay per view!
On one side you have the Starshine and Cthulhu, Two Guys Who Seriously Rock.
And standing across from them will be the World Tag Team Champions, King Motor-Colt and Above Average, The Story.
Let’s go to the ring!
WWCF World Tag Team Championships: Two Guys Who Seriously Rock(Starshine and Cthulhu) V. King Motor-Colt and Above Average ©
The bell rings.
Ladies and gentlemen. It is now time for our main event of the evening. As the sun sets here on the beautiful Parts Unknown Beach, things are about to heat up in the ring. Are you ready?
The crowd cheers.
Parts Unknown, N/A, I said, ARE YOU RRRRRRRREADY?!!!!!
Even louder cheers as the fans are on their feet.
Then. For the thousands in a attendance, and the millions watching around the world. Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and girls. Children of all ages. LLLLLLLLETS GET READY TO RRRRRRRRRU-
Michael is cut off as several flashing lights engulf the ring, and smoke fills the area.
*Cherub Rock*
Smoke clouds the entrance. As it clears, Cthulhu and Starshine rise up on a platform, posing for the crowd.
Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall, with a 45 minute time limit. And it is for the WWCF World Tag Team Championship!
Introducing first, the challengers. Weighing in at a total combined weight of 400 pounds, the self-proclaimed “Technical Professional” Starshine. The Corporate Rocker, Cthulhu. Together, they claim to be Two Guys Who Seriously Rock!
Starshine and Cthulhu shoot Muffer dirty looks, as the crowd showers the Corporate members with boos.
*It’s Hard To Speak Without A Tongue*
And their opponents…
Motor-Colt walks out in his full King of WrestleCrap getup, holding his Tag Team Championship belt high above his head. Suddenly, Colt’s music cuts off.
*The Prodigy*
Above Average joins Colt on the ramp, holding his Tag Team Championship belt in one hand, the Inter-Forum Championship in the other. He and Colt nod at each other, then walk towards the ring, as the crowd cheers and applauds the Champions.
Coming to the ring, at a total combined weight of 507 pounds, King Motor-Colt. The WWCF Inter-Forum Champion Above Average. They are the WWCF World Tag Team Champions, they are, THE STORY!!!!!
The Champions enter the ring and engage in a staredown with the challengers, until the referee orders everyone to their respective corners.
Before the match starts, Cthulhu calls over Michael Muffer and whispers something into his ear. Michael’s eyes widen as he leans away from Cthulhu and says,
“Before the match begins I would like to introduce the special commentator for this match. Ladies and Gentlemen, M.O.P!”
“Painkiller” by Judas Priest plays as M.O.P. walks cockily down the ramp in a sharp suit. The crowd has a mixed reaction to his return, but Cthulhu and Starshine in the ring look happy as M.O.P. walks to the announce table. King and Gorilla are shocked.
“Gorilla did you have any idea this was going to happen?”
“No, King, I’m just as shocked as you were. I have a bad feeling something is going to happen though.”
“Well of course something will happen. We get to be joined by the great M.O.P. I’m so excited right now!”
“That’s not what I meant King but we’ll see.”
“Enough about us though, welcome back M.O.P.”
Thanks, King. Let me just say it's great to be back in the WWCF. I missed it here.
“You said you would be out for a while, how did you recover so quickly to get back in WWCF?”
Fortunately, my injury was a fairly small ACL tear. Sure, it needed arthroscopic surgery, but that's relatively minor and with some intense physical therapy, I recovered pretty quickly.
“So M.O.P., what are your thought on tonight’s tag team match?”
Like I said on my blog, which you can read on WWCF.com by the way, this is going to be a rough match for both teams. King Colt and Double A are both very worthy champions, but they shouldn't underestimate Cthulhu and Starshine. Both are former tag-team champions, and I reckon they both have a lot more experience working in teams than our current champs. And believe me, that sort of thing can be a huge advantage versus two guys who are mainly singles wrestlers.
“Well, let’s get the ball rolling, ring the bell ref!”
The match begins with Starshine and AA locking up in the ring. Starshine transitions into a headlock, but AA bounces off the ropes and pushes Starshine off him. Starshine bounces off the opposite ropes and comes back with a shoulder block, knocking AA down. Starshine bounces off the ropes again but AA lies down and Starshine jumps over him. AA jumps up and hits a dropkick on Starshine after bouncing off the ropes again. Both men get to their feet and stare each other down.
“Gorilla it seems like AA is scouting Starshine’s attacks easily.”
“I agree with you there King, what do you think about this M.O.P.?”
I think Starshine's the one getting a feel for Double A, myself, Gorilla. He's testing him, seeing how he counters his predictable offense.
The two men lock up again, but it ends quickly when Starshine deliver a kick to the stomach of AA. Starshine clocks AA with a big right hand and then throws him into the ropes. Starshine gets ready to deliver a back body drop but AA sees this and deliver a big kick to the sternum. AA takes advantage and throws Starshine into his corner. He runs and delivers a big knee to the stomach and then tags in Colt.
Colt comes in and deliver a few punches to Starshine. The ref breaks up the action in the corner, and Starshine takes advantage by swiftly hitting Colt with a clothesline. Starshine runs to his corner after the clothesline and tags in Cthulhu.
“These two have quite the history. It wouldn’t surprise me if these two take the match to a whole new level.”
“You’re right about that King. I think business just picked up.”
Both these men know what the other's capable of. Neither's going to hold back.
The two men stare at each other in the ring. Colt gradually extends his hand in respect to Cthulhu. He looks hesitant at first but Cthulhu eventually shakes hands with Colt, before hitting a big kick to the stomach followed by a DDT. Cthulhu drags Colt over to his corner, and tags in Starshine while holding Colt down. Starshine comes in and hits a couple elbow drops. Starshine looks to AA and taunts him, causing AA to jump into the ring. The ref moves to stop AA and during this Cthulhu and Starshine double team Colt with a series of stomps.
Starshine locks in a headlock on the downed Colt. Colt slowly makes his way to his feet, but Starshine kicks the back of his knee and knocks him down again. Colt gets up again and hits a few elbows to the stomach of Starshine, but Starshine retaliates with a kick to the stomach and throws Colt into his corner. Starshine moves to tag in Cthulhu, but Colt explodes from the corner with a spear. Starshine and Colt crawl to tag in their partners. Starshine makes it to Cthulhu, who runs in quickly and stops Colt from tagging AA.
“Wow, talk about getting close but no cigar. Colt was literally seconds away from tagging in AA.”
“I’m highly impressed by the teamwork of Cthulhu and Starshine, Gorilla. I know Corporate does pride itself on it’s teamwork doesn’t it M.O.P.?”
This is exactly what I was talking about earlier, you two. Starshine and Cthulhu both know what it's like to be in a team, and it's showing. No disrespect meant to their current champs, but this is why I predicted that Corporate would triumph tonight.
Cthulhu drags Colt back to his feet and attempts a clothesline on him. However Colt ducks it and Cthulhu flies towards the ropes. Colt gets ready to deliver a back body drop to Cthulhu but AA jumps down from the ring and grabs Cthulhu’s leg, tripping him. Colt looks incredulously at AA as if saying, “Why would you stoop to their level?” AA jumps up on the outside of the ring and the two partners exchange words. Starshine takes advantage and sneaks up behind Colt, hitting him from behind and knocking him into AA, who flies off the ring and on to the floor.
“Seems like there might be some miscommunication between The Story members tonight King.”
“Definitely Gorilla, they better pull it together or else they might as well hand over their tag team titles. What do you think honored guest commentator?”
I have no idea what Colt was thinking there. Above Average was only looking out for him like a good tag partner should. Colt might not like his tactics, but Double A is a quick learner and realized that coherent teamwork is the only way they'll win.
Colt shakes off the hit and quickly ducks an attack from Starshine. He goes for a kick to the stomach but Starshine catches his foot. Colt leaps and hits Starshine with an enziguri, knocking Starshine down and out of the ring. Cthulhu however sneaks up from behind with a big clothesline to the back of the head. He quickly goes for the cover.
1…..2….Colt just barely gets the shoulder up!
“Wow that was close, Corporate was half a second away from winning themselves tag team gold.”
*stands up, looking incredulous* C'mon ref! That was an obvious slow count! Cthulhu should be having his arm raised in victory! *sits back down* Commissioner Amigo has to be behind this, looking to screw us over!
Cthulhu lifts Colt up, but Colt quickly comes to his senses, breaking Cthulhu’s hold on him and hitting a kick followed by a DDT. He slowly lifts a seemingly unconscious Cthulhu up and gets ready to deliver The Story on Page One. However, AA tags himself in and gets in the ring. Colt and AA begin to argue. During the argument, Cthulhu makes his move, clotheslining both men. Starshine leaps into the ring and the two begin to attack AA. The ref however breaks it up and forces Starshine and Colt out of the ring. Cthulhu lifts up AA and throws him into his corner. He hits him with a lot of punches until the ref pulls him away. Cthulhu distracts the ref while Starshine chokes AA, causing Colt to get in the ring. The ref notices Colt and moves to get him out of the ring. Cthulhu takes advantage by hitting a spear on AA. Cthulhu sets up AA and hits the Death Magnetic. He goes for the pin but Colt gets in the ring and breaks it up. Starshine comes in and Colt and he trade punches. Colt gets the advantage, ducking under a punch and hitting Starshine with reverse DDT. He and Cthulhu fights and Colt clotheslines Cthulhu over the top rope. AA slowly regains focus in his eyes and sets his sights on Starshine. AA goes for the Superkick, but Starshine ducks, and it hits Colt by mistake!
“Woah, talk about bad timing King. Colt just ate a kick from his own partner.”
“I know Gorilla, It seems that AA was going for Starshine but he just took out his own partner. Corporate has this all wrapped up now. Wait, what’s Cthulhu grabbing?”
I don't like the looks of this. Hope Cthulhu doesn't get himself disqualified here.
Starshine distracts the ref, and Cthulhu sneaks into the ring with a guitar. AA still stunned at what he did, turns around and WHAM! CTHULHU HITS AA WITH THE GUITAR! Starshine points to the downed AA and the ref turns around to see Cthulhu pinning AA. He starts the count
WHAT A GUITAR SHOT! Beautiful!
1…..2…..3!
The bell sounds and Michael Muffer says, “Here are you winners and the new WWCF World Tag Team Champions: Cthulhu and Starshine, Two Guys Who Seriously Rock!”
“Well look at the last King, we have new champions!”
“I know Gorilla, but it seems like the way they won was a little shady.”
“Whatever Gorilla, I know M.O.P. is happy. Hey wait, where did he go?”
The two announcers look on as M.O.P. enters the ring and holds Cthulhu’s and Starshine’s arms up. However, things turn sour quick as Cthulhu and Starshine begin stomping on AA. Obvious it wasn’t enough to win. Colt sees this and enters the ring, trying to fend them off, but the numbers game is too much and he too ends up beaten by Corporate.
Suddenly, the lights go out, an organ is heard and Thunderstruck by AC/DC plays. Evil masked wordlifeecw runs down the ramp and enters the ring. He fends off Cthulhu and Starshine, dodging some punches and hitting a couple clotheslines on them. He seemingly gets the upper hand on the situation when out of nowhere, M.O.P. hits EMW with a steel chair. He drops and Cthulhu and Starshine start beating him down as well. M.O.P. delivers chair shots to the back of all three men in the ring. He sets up one chair around the throat of Motor-Colt as Cthulhu climbs to the top rope, intent on breaking Colt’s neck.
However, as he reaches the top rope, the lights go out again. The titantron comes on, and it shows clips of past Corporate beatdowns. It goes through a series of attacks before stopping to showcase the beatdown Aaron Enigma suffered at the last PPV. Suddenly wispy letters appear that say, “Take It”, “Face the Power” and “Your Power is the key”. The titantron flies through images of the brain, and a 4th line is added that says, “The Fear is Back.”
Suddenly the titantron goes black before writing shows up, saying “Could you decipher the riddle?” The four lines are shown again, except words are pulled out of the the lines and put together to form other ssentences. They say, “Face Your Fear” and “Take the Power Back”. Below them a line shows up that says, “Do you Know Your Enemy?” The crowd goes nuts, finally understanding the riddle, as Take the Power Back by Rage Against the Machine begins to play. The lines on the titantron blur together to form one phrase, “The Head Detective Aaron Enigma.”
Smoke rises at the top of the entrance ramp, and as the beat of the music picks up, Aaron bursts through the smoke. He sprints to the ring, sliding in effortlessly. He looks to M.O.P. before stopping Cthulhu from jumping on Colt. He quickly removes the chair from Colt’s neck and nails Starshine in the head with it. He throws the chair aside and bolts for Cthulhu. He nails Cthulhu with a combination of punches and kicks, ending in a reverse roundhouse kick. He quickly grabs the stunned Cthulhu and lifts him up, hitting the Brilliant Deduction on him. He then gets up quickly and turns around, coming face to face with M.O.P.
The two men staredown before M.O.P. unexpectedly nods in respect at him. He pulls Starshine and Cthulhu out of the ring, before looking back at Aaron. Aaron is confused at first, but nods in return, before smiling. He lifts up Colt, AA and EMW, who all look surprised at his return as well. He turns to the fans and raises his hands with the rest of The Story.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am truly stunned right now! Aaron Enigma is back!
All this time, he was the one responsible for those mysterious and often creepy video messages! Who could’ve guessed it, Gorilla?!
The Story is standing tall right now, Jess. If I were a member of Corporate, I’d be getting a little worried right now!
But Gorilla, don’t forget. Despite The Story standing tall right now, Starshine and Cthulhu are the new World Tag Team Champions!
But you can bet that The Story will want their titles back Jess!
And Corporate will do whatever they have to do to hold on to them.
Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve seen an amazing show here tonight. We saw new Champions crowned, future Superstars in the making, earth shattering returns, and the same heart pounding action we’ve come to expect from the WWCF Superstars. For Jesse King, my name is Gorilla Tim Hoss. Goodnight!
Fade to black.
Match writing credits: Jonathan Michaels, Evil M, Stryker, Viva Los Bio Dome, The Sam, Grbjazzman, and Aaron Enigma. Additional credit to M.O.P. for providing the commentary for the main event, TTS for his promo, and Starshine for the article hyping the show.
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