Welcome to Monday NiteRaw! I’m Gorilla Tim Hoss, and with me, Jesse King!
Gorilla, GookerMania II was a tremendous event!
Indeed it was Jess! We saw some great action, including a new Heatz!!1 Champion, a new Money in the Bank winner, and both the Inter-Forum and World Champions retaining their championships!
And now tonight, Jazzman and M.O.P. will be teaming with the men they defeated in their respective matches, Above Average and King Motor-Colt, as they take on WWCF Corporate’s Little Naitch, Tyfo, Cthulhu, and The Boiler Room Brawler in a blockbuster main event!
Also, we have been promised that the identity of the Corporate traitor will finally be revealed before the night ends.
We‘ve waited almost three months, I can‘t wait to find out who it is!
Plus, we have the debuts of YellowJacket and the mysterious man who has been sending in these promos the last couple of weeks.
There‘s also the second tag team round robin match, a fatal fourway winner‘s choice match, and Starshine V. Jonathan Michaels!
But we understand that Amigo and his apparent partner are backstage.
*Amigo and a still out-of it Sparks are gearing up for their match*
*Finally coming to*
Oh God, my freakin' head....... where am I?
In my fancy-pants locker room, gearing up for a big tag match, dumbass.
What? I don't want to team with
*Is cut off by Amigo grabbing him, and bashing up on a locker*
I don't care what you want, what I care about is what I want, and I want is those trophies, and since everybody else has "Morals" or some bulls***, I had to borrow a tag partner, and you are it. Don't like it? Be glad, I don't Van Gogh you for bitchy insubordination right now. Got it?
Ye.......Yes.
Good, now get dressed, I have a match to win.
*Jay Carroll is spotted leaving the Boiler Room. Fred G. Neric runs over with a mike and begins asking questions*
Fred: Jay, Jay, can I have a word with you?
Jay: *smirks* What can I do for you, Fred?
Fred: With all the turmoil occurring around the company, your sudden alignment with TTS, and association with The Boiler Room Brawler, I have to ask.. Are you joining Corporate?
Jay:*laughs* Freddy G!.. Nice suit by the way. Almost looks like something I paid for. Anyway, you're asking stupid questions. What, do you expect for me to say "Fred, you've figured it out! Yes, I'm joining Corporate!" Well, keep wishing. As far as you and everyone else knows, I've been in Corporate the entire time. Hell, I might even be the trader! Did you think of that, too?
To answer your stupid question, no, I'm not Corporate. Yet. However, I've worked out my own deals with a couple of members, so you never know. Corporate has been suffering a lot of defections lately, and you never know when they might just need a new Superstar to lead them back to prominence. As for what I was doing in the Broiler Room, I was just making sure that my good friend BR knows I still have his back, and he still has mine. Always keep your alliances straight, Fred.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have things to do and Amigos to defeat. Goodbye.
Tag Team Round Robin Match: Amigo and Sparks V. TTS and “Champagne“ Jay Carroll
The following tag team match is part of the Round Robin contenders tournament!
*Souls of Black*
Sparks reluctantly walks through the curtain, with Amigo behind him, shoving him along.
Introducing first, the team of Amigo and Sparks!
*Panic Switch*
TTS and Jay Carroll emerge from the back. TTS is carrying a chicken, while Jay has a model on each arm.
And their opponents, the WWCF Heatz!!1 Champion TTS and “Champagne” Jay Carroll!
As Jay is helped to the ring by the models, TTS goes through his prematch rituals. After a few chants, TTS enters and the bell rings.
Sparks and Jay start off. Jay whips him into the ropes and catches him coming back with a knee to the midsection. Jay stays on his opponent with a rear chinlock, which Sparks manages to break out of. Jay doesn’t give him any breathing room though, as he viciously knee’s him in the back of the head, then tags in TTS.
The Heatz!!1 Champion picks up where his partner left off with a running knee to the back of the neck, followed by the first cover of the match.
1!
Kickout!
From the apron, Amigo yells at Sparks to get with the program and start doing something. TTS taunts Amigo with voodoo chants, before slamming Sparks backwards across his knee! Jay tags back in and hit’s a reverse DDT, doing more damage to the back and neck. Cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Jay sit’s Sparks up and locks in a rear chinlock, pressing his knee into his back for added leverage. The fans try to rally Sparks, while Amigo screams at him from the apron. Motivated by the crowd response, Sparks fights through the pain and shakes Carroll off of him! Jay charges, but Sparks meets him with a diving clothesline! Both men down!
“1!”
“2!”
“3!”
Jay starts crawling to his corner!
“4!”
“5!”
Jay tags TTS, as Sparks starts crawling towards Amigo! TTS stands behind Sparks and waits until he’s about to reach out and tag Amigo, then yanks him back to the middle of the ring! He then steps in between Sparks and Amigo, kick’s Sparks and then throws a punch at Amigo…
Which is blocked with a headbutt!! TTS staggers back, and Sparks rolls him up!
1!
2!
Jay tries to break it up, but Amigo headbutts him too!
3!
Here are your winners, Amigo and Sparks!
The fans applaud the barely conscious Sparks, as Amigo throws him over his shoulder and carries him to the back.
Well, it’s an unusual alliance, but they got the job done!
So now, The Resistance and Amigo and Sparks are tied for first place with 2 points apiece, while Aaron Enigma and M.O.P. and TTS and Jay Carroll are both at the bottom with 0!
Up next, we have the inring debut of YellowJacket, as he battles the monster of the WWCF, Evil M!
Evil M V. YellowJacket
The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
*Going Down In Flames*
Introducing first, from Lancaster, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 224 pounds, and making his WWCF debut, YellowJacket!
YellowJacket enters and grabs the mic.
The time has come for all of you worthless proletarians to see how hard work pays off for people. Each and every one of you are all predictable. When Evil M walks down that aisle and faces his fate, you will all cheer for him. Why? The answer lies in the appellation; Evil M.
It comes as no surprise that you ingrates attach yourselves to a man who hides behind an imprudent moniker, distancing himself from his true caliber. For starters, he is the furthest thing from evil. In order to be evil, you need to accomplish something in your life. You have to achieve success, not wallow in delusional reverie. Evil M has done nothing of importance in his deplorable life.
Which brings me to the second fragment of his moniker; the arcane M. Instead of fulfilling an epithet, Evil M hides his latter signature in hopes of shrouding his ignominious capabilities. For the M doesn't stand for his name or a mysterious flair. It simply stands for mediocrity.
It comes as no surprise that the mediocre band together in hopes of cloaking their inadequacies. Which is why all of you should be proud and honored to have such a dexterous athlete grace this very ring. Now you can all put aside your shortcomings, and idly sit from the sidelines and watch a virtuoso succeed in his goals.
The fans boo YellowJacket, who soaks it all in. Suddenly the arena darkens as an eerie, yet all-too-familiar organ music plays.
*Thunderstruck*
And his opponent, from Rockland, Massachusetts, weighing in at 320 pounds, Evil M!
Evil walks to the ring, still feeling the effects of the Ultimate Scaffold match from GookerMania.
The bell rings and the two tie up. Evil shoves YellowJacket back and throws a punch, but YellowJacket reverses it into a crowbar! Evil shouts out in pain and surprise as YellowJacket cranks on the pressure. Evil manages to drape his foot across the bottom rope, forcing a break. Evil get’s up, holding his arm in pain. He steps back to the center of the ring, and YellowJacket immediately targets the arm again, clamping on a standing armbar! Evil cries out again, having not expected such a direct attack. Once again, he manages to grab the rope, but it’s obvious the arm is hurting him. Once again, he steps to the middle of the ring and once again, YellowJacket goes for the arm. This time, Evil uses his good arm to goozle the newcomer, but YellowJacket grabs the bad arm and wrenches it until Evil releases his grip. YellowJacket then forces the Evil One to the mat and drives his knee into the arm. Evil M SCREAMS in pain!
This is a side of Evil M we never see. He’s in tremendous pain, he’s being outwrestled, and he does not like it one bit!
YellowJacket holds onto the arm and continues to stomp the hell out of it, while Evil M can do nothing but scream in agony. Finally, YellowJacket goes for the standing armbar again, but Evil lowblows him with the good arm! The ref calls for the bell!
Ladies and gentlemen, your winner by disqualification, YellowJacket!
As he writhes in pain on the mat, YellowJacket acknowledges his win with a slight smile. Meanwhile, the medical staff runs down to tend to Evil M. It’s an unsettling sight as the monster has to be helped to the back, pain etched on his face as he favors his right arm.
The newcomer YellowJacket get’s the win in his debut, but the story here is that Evil M is seriously injured, Jess!
Gorilla, I have never seen anyone go in that ring and just dominate Evil M like this YellowJacket kid just did. That was scary!
Well fans, we’ll provide updates on Evil M’s condition as we get it, but up next, the Hardcore Champion Jonathan Michaels battles Starshine!
Jonathan Michaels V. Starshine
Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall.
Figured You Out - Nickelback
Making his way to the ring, from Sydney, Australia, weighing in at 220 pounds, Starshine!
Starshine makes his way to the ring and sneers as he awaits his opponent.
DOA - Foo Fighters
And his opponent, being accompanied by Sara Nakatomi, from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 235 pounds, he is the WWCF Hardcore Champion, Jonathan Michaels!
Michaels and Sara walk to the ring arm in arm, Sara goes to the corner as Michaels slides into the ring.
Michaels extends a hand to Starshine, who gives him a disbelieving look as the bell rings.
Starshine puts Jonathan in a side headlock, Michaels pulls free and kicks Starshine's leg out from under him.
Jonathan tries to go for the Key Grip, but Starshine kicks him away, Starshine kicks Michaels in the gut and attempts a Starblind, but Michaels flips Starshine over.
Starshine gets to his feet and the two men exchange punches, Sara motions the crowd to get behind Michaels, who finally knocks Starshine to the ground with a clothesline.
Jonathan picks Starshine up and attempts a DDT, but Starshine reverses and puts Michaels in an abdominal stretch, using the ropes to hold the move.
The referee pulls Starshine away and warns him, and Starshine grab Michaels by the hair and slams him to the ground, Starshine starts kicking Jonathan repeatedly, until Jonathan grabs Starshine's ankle and causes Starshine to lose his balance, allowing Michaels to apply the Key Grip from a laying position.
Starshine tries to crawl to the rope, but Michaels has him in an awkward position and he has no choice but to tap.
Here is your winner, Jonathan Michaels.
And the Hardcore Champion shows he can wrestle any style, hardcore, technical, puro, you name it.
But Gorilla, you gotta remember, Starshine was in that brutal I Quit Match at GookerMania just last week! His body hasn’t had time to heal!
Well, be that as it may, Jonathan Michaels still picked up an impressive win tonight. Up next…
Malcolm X appears on the Tron making his famous speech; "It's just like when you've got some coffee that's too black, which means it's too strong. What do you do? You integrate it with cream, you make it weak. But if you pour too much cream in it, you won't even know you ever had coffee. It used to be hot, it becomes cool. It used to be strong, it becomes weak. It used to wake you up, now it puts you to sleep..."
Too black, too strong, too black, too strong, too black, too strong, too black... too strong...
Damn Right!
Bring Tha Noise by Public Enemy feat. Antrax
A tall, buff black man makes his way down to the ring ignoring all the fans in the process. He's in White suit pants and a black tank top, smoking a cigar. He gets in the ring and grabs a mic.
My name is Jackson. DR Jackson... I repeat, that is Dee-Are Jackson, not Doctor Jackson. Because the DR in my name doesn't stand for some typical upperclass profession, one given to those who are simply handed everthing in life. The DR in my name stand for something more...
It represents a life that was never meant to be had, someone who was never given a chance at survival but fought on anyway to live his own life. But despite all that, despite all his courage and strength... the world continues to spit in his face, could it because he's a lower class? Who knows? Could it be his race, the color of his skin? Again, who knows?
The only thing we know for sure is it's a man who has fought for every single thing he's ever had, but is still considered a lesser being of existence... and he's sick of it!
I walk down the street, going about my normal business... and little kids act scared of me! Old people sit as far away from me as possible on the bus! I apply for a job and they simply put my resume in the shredder. I am not a Militant Black Guy, I am not here to play the race card... I'm simply here to make a difference.
So I'm done biting my tongue, I'm done with just standing around and letting this abuse on my character happen. I'm here to silence all of those, be it with words... or with force.
*Crowd pop*
Don't cheer me for that? You're the exact sort of people I'm talking about! The only reason why you're cheering me is because I said I'm going to hurt people... You don't care about my cause, you don't care about my plight... And most of all you don't care about me!
You guys only want to see people hurt other innocent people, not to prove a point, but just because...You're the sort of people who overlook a fellow citizen trying to earn their way of life all because you were all born with a Silver Spoon in your mouth... However I guess is a Spoon is much better compared to what you put in your mouth now...
*Crowd boos*
I thought as much...
Anyway, starting tonight I'm making a difference. Starting tonight I'm going to make everyone who is taking the life they lead for granted feel the level of punishment and pain, the hurt and the shame they force people like me to live through every day of our lives...
The DR in my name stands for...
*generic rock music hits, a much smaller skinny pale guy named Donnie Donald walks out*
The bell rings and it looks like we have an impromptu match up between the two. Jackson slaps the guy hard, the guy falls to the ground. Jackson proceeds to boot the guy in the head. Jackson picks the guy and does a basic body slam. He picks the guy up again the whips him into the ropes, the guy ducks a clothesline and springboards off of the ropes with a cross body. Jackson catches him with a Big Boot. Jackson scoops the poor guy up and slams him onto Jackson's knee. Jackson then whips the guy into the corner. Jackson charges at him, but Donnie gets his feet up. Donnie jumps to the top rope and goes for a double axe handle. Jackson catches him with a kick to the midsection, followed by a powerbomb. Donnie isn't moving. Jackson then picks him up and sets him up into a torture rack position, Jackson then jumps down to his knees hitting the High Attitude (Argentine Back Breaker Drop), Jackson holds on and gets back to his feet and drops down to his knees again hitting a second back breaker. He once again stands up and applies pressure into the Torture Rack aka Anxiety Adjustment.
The ref has no choice but to call for the bell.
Jackson then grabs the mic;
Once again, the DR in my name stands for...
Jackson sees the poor Donnie Donald struggle back to his feet, Jackson stops talking and then lays him out with a huge spear. Back on the mic;
Damn Right!
Gorilla, this DR Jackson looks like he could be a powerful force here in the WWCF.
Indeed he does. Coming up next, we have the Fatal Four Way match, where the winner get’s to pick his prize! But first, one of the participants has something he’d like to say.
Viva Los Bio Dome is shown backstage with a brace around his neck and his associate Stryker.
It's real funny to me that M.O.P and Aaron Enigma have the balls to call The Resistance out like they did last night. Real funny. They felt the need to trash our reputations, talk down to us, and act as if they were better than us. That's REAL funny to me because they made a cardinal mistake last night.
They took us for granted. I JUST got done telling people that The Resistance is the team NOT to take for granted. That we will leave every drop of blood, every ounce of sweat, and every tear in that ring fighting for our chance at the WWCF World Tag Team titles, and what do these capable WWCF superstars do?
They get beat by a roll up.
The two guys who want to be the premier challengers to the Corporate Regime can't even deliver on the promises they make right before matches, and yet we're supposed to take them seriously. We're supposed to look at them as a credible threat.
Why? Because they can ruin a celebration with cheap shots as good as the rest of them? Please.
With as much time as you spend in your study, Aaron, I would have thought that you'd know by now that respect is earned, not taken, and if you think that giving me a conchairto after taking an embarrassing loss is going to give you my respect, you're dead wrong. All it does is make you look like a sackless bag of bones.
Now, I'm not a betting man, but I'm gonna go all in on the idea that this is NOT the last we see of each other. You're on notice, and you've been warned. Not blindsided.
Fatal Four Way Winner‘s Choice match: Viva Los Bio Dome V. Koda V. The Headbanger Man V. Cageking
The following contest is a Fatal Four Way match. The winner will receive a shot at his of the Inter-Forum or Hardcore Championship at Night of the Wrestling Zombies!
*Agent of Chaos*
Introducing first, from Gotham City, weighing in at 223 pounds, Koda!
*Safety Dance*
From Hayward, California, weighing in at 195 pounds, Viva Los Bio Dome!
Viva is holding his neck as he makes his way to the ring.
*Wild Child*
From Kent, England, weighing in at 263 pounds, The Headbanger Man!
When he get’s to the bottom of the ramp, Headbanger stops and breaks a beer bottle over his head.
*Cageking enters to an original recording*
And, from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 295 pounds, Cageking!
Koda, Viva, Headbanger, and Cageking start with a staredown. Suddenly Headbanger turns to Cageking and charges him. The two lock up while Koda and Viva watch. Cageking gets the best of Headbanger Man and locks in a chinlock. Headbanger pushes Cageking off towards Koda and Viva. Viva casually pushes the top rope down and Cageking spills out onto the floor. Koda takes the initiative and leaps over the ropes onto Cageking while Viva charges Headbanger, attempting the Purple Sticky Punch. Headbanger dodges it though and with a quick kick to the stomach, DDTs Viva. Koda slides back into the ring and stops Headbanger from pinning Viva. He and Headbanger trade punches and Koda attempts to throw Headbanger into the ropes. Headbanger counters and throws Koda. Koda bounces off the ropes and attempts a clothesline but Headbanger ducks. Running past Headbanger, Koda runs into a Big Boot from Cageking, who had been going for Headbanger. Headbanger turns around to get him with a dropsault. Cageking stands up but is attacked from behind by Viva. Viva and Cageking bounce off opposite ropes and clothesline each other. All four men lay down in the ring.
Koda stands first and goes to pin Cageking, but is tripped up by Headbanger, who transitions Koda into a chinlock. Headbanger wrenches it back but is attacked by Viva. Headbanger released Koda and scrambles to the corner to get away from Viva. However, Cageking interrupts him and delivers a huge right hand. He stumbles around and Viva grabs Headbanger and HITS THE BIO DOME! Headbanger hits the ground and rolls out of the ring. Viva looks angry because his finisher was useless but is broken out of his thoughts by Cageking. The two struggle against each other and work each other into a corner. Koda however jumps up behind and drives his knees into Viva, smashing Cageking in the process. Viva falls to the ground and Koda lifts Cageking up to the top rope. He goes for the superplex but is challenged by Cageking. Koda jumps of the ropes and headbutts Cageking on the descent. Cageking staggers on his top rope seat and Koda climbs again for the superplex. However Viva sneaks up, recovered from the attack and grabs Koda to powerbomb him. Viva powerbombs Koda, who superplexes Cageking. Koda and Cageking lay motionless and Viva gets ready to pin them. However Headbanger explodes into the ring, ready to get some revenge. He spins Viva around, kicks him in the stomach and hits Viva with the DOUBLE BASS DDT! He goes for the pin on Viva.
1...2...3!
Here is your winner, The Headbanger Man!
An amazing match, Gorilla, and what a win for The Headbanger Man!
Headbanger Man will now go on to Night of the Wrestling Zombies, but which title he will be competing for will be up to him.
Well, I’m pumped for Night of the Wrestling Zombies! It’s shaping up to be a great show! But I’m also pumped for our main event tonight!
The Pride reunites for one night to team with The Story against WWCF Corporate! It’s our main event, it’s live… and it’s next!
Jazzman, M.O.P., Above Average, and King Motor-Colt V. LittleNaitch, Tyfo, Cthulhu, and The Boiler Room Brawler
*I’m So Bad(Baby I Just Don’t Care)*
The Boiler Room Brawler walks through the curtain and heads for the ring.
*Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann OST*
Cthulhu enters and poses with his guitar before entering the ring as well.
Jess, this is going to be a treat. The most star studded NiteRaw main event we’ve ever had!
*New Blackjacks Theme*
Tyfo, carrying his Money in the Bank briefcase, and LittleNaitch enter together, as the fans boo Tyfo, but cheer Naitch.
Interesting dynamic here, huh Gorilla? These fans are decidedly anti-Corporate, but they love LittleNaitch!
It’s a very interesting dynamic, Jess. And it will be interesting to see if it will play a factor during the course of the match.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is a special 8 man tag team attraction, scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, in the ring, weighing in at a total combined weight of 1,010 pounds, The Boiler Room Brawler, Cthulhu, and Little Naitch and Tyfo, the Southwest Connection, they are the combined team of WWCF Corporate!
The fans boo the Corporate contingent, but a loud Little Naitch chant breaks out and overtakes the boos.
*Days of the Phoenix*
M.O.P. walks out, the Inter-Forum Title belt draped over his shoulder. He walks halfway down the ramp… and stops…
*Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em*
King Motor-Colt makes his way through the curtain. He stops next to M.O.P., as the two look back towards the curtain…
*Poison*
Above Average walks out and meets his partners in the middle of the aisle. A quiet buzz comes over the crowd…
*Lilac Lane*
The crowd erupts as Jazzman emerges from behind the curtain, holding the WWCF World Championship high above his head. Jazzman joins his teammates and together, they march to the ring.
And their opponents. Weighing in at a total combined weight of 947 pounds, the WWCF Inter-Forum Champion M.O.P., King Motor-Colt and Above Average, The Story, and the WWCF World Heavyweight Champion, JAZZMAN!!!!!
M.O.P. and Cthulhu start off. The Inter-Forum Champion takes the Tag Team Champion down with an arm drag. As Cthulhu get’s back up and charges, M.O.P. back body drops him over the top rope. Tyfo runs in, but also get’s dropped to the floor. Brawler enters, but he’s too big for M.O.P to back body drop. Jazzman enters and dares BRB to charge them both. Brawler gets a running start, but the two Champions move at the last second and Brawler’s own momentum sends him tumbling over the top rope and onto his teammates.
Naitch steps in and locks up with Jazzman. The Night of the Wrestling Zombies opponents tussle back and forth, neither gaining any real advantage. Above Average blind tags himself in and goes to work on Naitch. AA pummels him with elbows and punches, then whips him into the ropes. Tyfo tags Naitch as he bounces back. AA back body drop’s Naitch, but is met by a kick from Tyfo. Mr. Money in the Bank works over the longest reigning Champion ever with kicks and punches, then snap suplexes him to the mat. Cover.
1
Kickout.
Tyfo drags AA to the Corporate corner and tags Brawler. BRB stomps AA, then effortlessly lifts him up and slams him back down to the mat. He follows with a legdrop, then makes the cover.
1
2
Kickout!
Brawler throws AA in the corner and charges, but AA get’s his foot up! Brawler staggers back, while AA dives towards his corner, but Tyfo and Cthulhu drag him back to their corner. Brawler tags Tyfo in, and the Corporate Pain Train continues where he left off, scoop slamming AA, then dropping an elbow for another cover.
1!
2!
Kickout!
Cthulhu tags in and goes to the top rope, he comes down with a splash, but AA rolls out of the way! Cthulhu lands on his feet, but get’s nailed by the superkick, from out of nowhere! Both men are down and begin crawling to their corners! Cthulhu get’s there first and tags Naitch, as AA dives in and tags Colt! The two old rivals waste no time picking up where thy left off. Naitch hit’s a series of stinging chops on Colt, but the King fires back with some of his own! Cthulhu tries to intervene, but Jazzman cut’s him off with a shoulder tackle! Tyfo and BRB try to help Naitch, but M.O.P. and Above Average stop them. As everyone else brawls to the outside, Colt is able to catch Naitch with the Story on Page One! Cover!
1!
2!
3!
Here are your winners, the team of King Motor-Colt, Above Average, the Inter-Forum Champion M.O.P., and the WWCF World Heavyweight Champion, Jazzman!
What a win! What a main event!
The winning team celebrates, as Corporate dejectedly makes their way up the ramp. Jazzman and M.O.P. shake hands with Colt and AA before leaving. The Story remains in the ring, celebrating. Colt poses on the top rope, then hops down and goes to the other cor-SUPERKICK!!!!
What the hell?!
Above Average just Superkicked his tag team partner!
What was that about?!
I have no idea. Folks, we’ll be right back.
We cut to a break as Above Average stands over Colt, a malicious grin on his face.
Back from the break, we see every member of WWCF Corporate is standing around the ring excluding The Sam, Mr. Dave. Tim Hoss gets up from his announce booth and enters the ring with microphone in hand.
Tim Hoss – Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the WWCF C.E.O. Mr. Dave and WWCF Commissioner The Sam.
(The Sam and Mr. Dave walk to the ring smiling and waving. WWCF Corporate eyeballs them as they enter the ring)
The Sam – Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been spending the last couple of months looking into this supposed WWCF Mole. And I have bought a team together to take on these claims. This team I have chosen has looked under every rock, around every tree and trough every forest to find this Mole. And Ladies and Gentlemen, I have found it.
Now I could of just handed my report to Mr. Dave quietly and let this all go unnoticed. But if you know me, that’s not me. I will freeze hell and warm heaven just to get noticed. And what better way to get noticed is here, live, on prime time TV.
And with no further adieu, here is my Boss and your friend Mr. Dave to reveal to you who the Mole really is.
(The Sam hands Mr. Dave a manila envelope. A drum roll plays. Mr. Dave opens the envelope and reads the name. Mr. Dave looks shocked, turns to The Sam and gives a slight smile.)
Mr. Dave – I can’t believe this…I thought I could trust this person but…The Mole is…LANNY POFFO!
(The camera cuts to Lanny Poffo, who shrugs his shoulders and enters the ring)
Mr. Dave – Lanny, I can’t believe this. You’re The Mole.
(Lanny looks at The Sam. The Sam nods.)
Lanny – Yes Mr. Dave, I am the Mole.
Mr. Dave – Well, this is quite shocking. I’m sorry Lanny but you must be punished.
The Sam – You are correct Mr. Dave. Even though Lanny is my mentor I must agree that Lanny should be punished. For trying to destroy the WWCF from the inside out you will be suspended with pay.
Lanny – It’s harsh but fair.
The Sam – Well that’s all for now. Please tune in next week for-
Aaron Enigma – Hold it right there!
(Aaron walks down the ramp with his own Manilla envelope)
Aaron – As many of you know, I have been doing my own investigation into this Mole case. And I have come up with my own answer. The Mole is…THE SAM!
The Sam – THAT IS A LIE AARON!!!
Aaron – I have evidence showing The Sam in talks with Bob Iger of Disney trying to sell the WWCF talent roster and name and video library to Disney.
Mr. Dave – I am shocked. However these accusations have not been looked over by yours truly so I must look over this evidence. Now please hand it over Aaron.
Aaron – But I am not finished. You see, it is my opinion that The Sam was planning on selling WWCF to Disney so that he could “make a butt load of cash” and become the sole owner of Disney’s new venture “World Wrestlecrap Entertainment”. But the most shocking part about all of this is that The Sam gained these meetings with Bob Iger through one-man….Mr. Dave.
Mr. Dave – That is an outrageous claim Aaron. How dare you!
The Sam – Yeah Aaron, how dare you!
Aaron – Oh really?
(Aaron grabs The Sam’s and Mr. Dave’s buttoned shirts, rips them off to reveal The Sam ad Mr. Dave wearing t shirts saying “WWCE”)
Aaron – And I have gone over your head Dave and have already handed my evidence to the Board of Directors.
Tim Hoss – And I have just received word from the Board of Directors that The Sam and Mr. Dave are fired.
I have also been notified that the Board of Directors will announce their new WWCF C.E.O. next week on Niteraw.
(The crowd explodes in applause as The Sam and Dave look at each other before arguing amongst themselves claiming the other for fault. Corporate climbs into the ring and begin dragging Mr. Dave and The Sam to the parking lot. Where they are kicked out. The show closes with The Sam and Dave looking back before storming off)
Aaron Enigma - Well, it isn't exactly a title win, but at this point who really cares? I JUST GOT RID OF CORPORATE! Oh my god did you see that people? I did exactly what I said I would do. Now I've probably made some new friends tonight, and made some new enemies, but at this point none of it matters. The Head Detective has just solved the biggest case of his career! Not only did I expose the traitor, I just got the commissioner and the C.E.O. FIRED! Do any of you know what that means? It means that this is better than a title win for me. I mean I want to win a title really badly, but look at this! I just got two of the people that have caused me misery since Corporate formed. Along with M.O.P. being my friend and Littlenaitch never really agreeing to join, that leaves four people left. Brawler, Tyfo, Cthulhu and Starshine, I hope you guys understand that Corporate is officially gone now. No more sneak attacks from 5 people at once, no more cheating with number or copious interference, NO MORE! The Power is back where it should belong, with the fans. Guess I gotta change music again heh. Anyways that's off topic. I thank you greatly for helping me achieve this goal everyone. I have a feeling a drastic change is upon us!
Take The Power Back plays over the loud speaker as Aaron goes around the ring, shaking hands with fans as the show comes to a close.
Credits: Amigo, Jay Carroll, Evil M, YellowJacket, Jay Carroll, Jonathan Michaels, DR Jackson, Aaron Enigma, The Sam, and D-Day Dave.
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