Welcome to Sunday Night Heatz!!1 I’m Gorilla Tim Hoss and with me, my partner Jesse King!
Gorilla, tonight’s show is stacked! I can’t believe the matches that have been scheduled for tonight!
Nor can I Jess! Tonight, we have a rare appearance on Heatz!!1 by the WWCF World Champion Jazzman, as he goes up against the dangerous newcomer, YellowJacket!
Also, KCB battles Buck Futter and Relegate Hunter takes on a former World Champion in MiLo Duck!
But Jess, to get things started tonight, I understand we have an appearance the Hardcore Champion Jonathan Michaels!
Incubus - Make a Move
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome at this time, Head Detective Aaron Enigma, the WWCF Inter-Forum Champion, M.O.P., and the WWCF Hardcore Champion, Jonathan Michaels.
The three men make their way to the ring, all business.
Jonathan grabs a microphone.
I have come out here with Aaron and M.O.P. because the three of us have something in common.
While Corporate may have been thwarted and dismantled last week, there is still a problem around here, we can hardly have a match around here these days without someone interfering and causing trouble.
And it's not just that, Look at Amigo, he assaults people, kidnaps them, it's time that people like him are taught a lesson.
Which is why the three of us are here tonight.
Tell 'em, Aaron
Jonathan hands the mic to Aaron.
Thank you Jonathan. Anyways, there is a big reason we are here tonight. You see, we've noticed a pretty huge disregard for rules here in WWCF recently. Amigo is running around like crazy, people are attacking each other left and right. Hell, I will admit even I have taken part in a little interference myself. However, I think the time has come for this to end. WWCF can move forward now with the destruction of Corporate, and I for one want to see this happen. Along with the two champions with me, we want to put a stop to this random violence that clogs up the pride and honor of wrestling here in the WWCF.
Now make no mistakes, the three of us aren't a stable per say, we're just a group of people that feel things need to change around here, and since nobody wants to do that, we will. I may not be a champion, but I am a top contender for WWCF titles. Jonathan Michaels, he's been the hardcore champion for a while now, and even beat my former stablemate Evil-M when everyone thought of him as the underdog. M.O.P. beat my other stablemates Above Average and Motor-Colt to gain and retain his Inter-Forum Title.
Now that that's over with, The Resistance seems to have a hit on myself and M.O.P. Would you care to comment on that Mr. Inter-Forum champion?
M.O.P. nods and Aaron gives him the mic.
Aaron's right. This isn't exactly a stable and I'm glad it isn't. I just got out of one, and I don't want to be tied down to one again. And Aaron and Jonathan are two bright stars, too. As we all know, when it comes to stables, eventually one person outshines the others, or someone gets lost in the shuffle.
And that's why this isn't an alliance or a stable. The three of us are simply one thing, and that's friends. If the Resistance wants to talk tough and try to take Aaron out, I've got his back, and so does Jonathan. If Brawler wants to get in my business, then he's gotta answer to the Hardcore Champion and the Head Detective. If Amigo tries to pull any crap on Jon, he's got Aaron and me to worry about.
We aren't about domination. We're about equalizing.
M.O.P hands the mic back to Aaron.
Exactly what M.O.P. said. We're not about dominating this business. We don't want to be in control of every title, we aren't some sort of mafia, we aren't some sort of order, we just are. We are sick of the dishonest behavior that ruins the matches for the fans. So we're fighting back the only way we know how to, with good old fashioned violence. This is a warning to the WWCF roster. You interfere in a match, you answer to us. You attack someone backstage, you answer to us. You attack someone during an interview, you answer to US! Is it a threat? You bet it is. We're not going to tolerate interference, unprovoked attacks, any of that crap.
We're not the police. We're not homeland security. We're not the damn FBI. We're just...equalizers.
Aaron hands the mic back to Jonathan.
So, Amigo, I told you I'd want something from you in exchange for the title shot.
At Night Of The Wrestling Zombies, If, no, when I retain the Hardcore Title, you are banned from attacking ANYONE without being physically provoked.
I'll let you give me your answer next week, because you have to get ready to have your ass handed to you by these two gentlemen behind me.
Because from now on, everything will be Equal.
And, CUT.
Well, we’ve just seen the formation of a powerful new alliance, Jess.
If I were Amigo, I’d watch what I do and who I do it to from now on!
Indeed. Now, our opening contest, Relegate Hunter battles MiLo Duck!
Relegate Hunter V. MiLo Duck
Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall, with a 15 minute time limit.
*Smile Like You Mean It*
Introducing first, from Brighton, England, weighing in at 190 pounds, Relegate Hunter!
*Darkwing Duck theme*
And his opponent, from Emmons, Minnesota, weighing in at 250 pounds, MiLo Duck!
At the bell, MiLo tackle’s Hunter to the mat and pummels him with lefts and rights. Hunter tries to cover up, MiLo is relentless. Finally, the ref has to pull the former World Champion off of Relegate. He asks Relegate if he wants to continue and Hunter nods yes. MiLo immediately resumes his assault, stomping and kicking his opponent. The ref warns MiLo to stop, but the Duck ignores him! Once again, the ref has to pry MiLo off. The ref is about to call for the bell, but Hunter pulls himself to his feet, daring MiLo to bring it! MiLo charges, but Hunter was ready and back body drops him over the top rope! MiLo angrily slaps the floor and rolls back in. Hunter locks on a headlock, but MiLo backdrop’s him, breaking out of the hold! MiLo pulls Hunter up and tosses him into the corner. He runs at him, but Relegate moves! MiLo slams into the corner and Hunter rolls him up!
1!
2!
3!
Here is your winner, Relegate Hunter!
Shocking upset! Hunter pins MiLo! Hunter pins MiLo!
MiLo argues with the ref, as the end of the match is replayed on the CrapTron. We see MiLo’s arm holding the bottom rope. MiLo screams at the ref to restart the match, even as an oblivious, joyful Hunter is halfway up the ramp. The ref sighs and walks over to Michael Muffer.
Ladies and gentlemen, because MiLo Duck’s arm was under the rope during the pinfall, the referee has ordered the match be restarted!
Hunter’s heart sinks, as he heads back to the ring, even as MiLo is coming up the ramp after him. The two exchange punches on the ramp. Hunter has MiLo reeling and goes for the knockout blow, but MiLo blocks it! Fowl Play on the ramp! MiLo then drags Hunter back to the ring and rolls him in as the bell rings, officially signaling the restart. Cover.
1
2
KICKOUT!
MiLo is shocked, he thought he had it! The Duck picks up Hunter and set’s him for the QuackerJack, but Hunter reverses it into a sunset flip!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Both men to their feet, MiLo plants his boot in Hunter’s gut, QuackerJack! Cover!
1!
2!
3!
Here is your winner, MiLo Duck!
Well, MiLo get’s the official victory, but hats off to Relegate Hunter for a valiant effort.
Gorilla, he came close. I have no doubt he’ll do great things some day, but tonight just wasn’t his night.
*Scene opens up in a Casino. Several shots are shown of people playing the slots, roulette, blackjack, and craps. The camera then zooms in on a poker table with a pile of chips in the center. A man lays down a flush, much to the dismay of the table. Everyone throws in their cards except for one man dressed in a black business suit, with no tie, and Ray Ban sunglasses. He leans in and turns over a full house, beating the flush. The man looks begins to pull in the chips then looks up at the camera.*
Ah, gambling. Gambling is my life. Although, the term ‘gambling’ means you are risking something for a potential reward. What most people don’t know, is that for me, ‘gambling’ is only truly gambling about 10% of the time. Sure there’s times when you’re back is up against a wall, and you become desperate to get back into the game and you take chances.
That other 90%? It is knowledge, it is cunning, and it is straight up being able to out play your opponent… be it a machine, the house, or any other human being. *gets up and starts walking towards the camera, as the camera pulls back. The man stops at various tables along the way*
It’s about knowing the best time to strike to get the most out of each hand… *lays down some money on a blackjack table* Blackjack! We have a winner!
… out of each throw of the dice… *throws dice* 7’s!!! A winner!
… out of each pull of a lever… *pulls the handle of a slot machine. 3 Bars. The machine starts going off*
… out of each spin of the wheel… *puts a stack of chips on the Green 0*
You have to stay calm, you have to stay cool, you have to believe that you are already a winner before even starting. And if for some reason something doesn’t go your way…
Red 14!! *Man looks back at some big men in some suits. They rush over and take man running the roulette table away and out the side door. Another man walks over, grabs the ball and places it on the Green 0*
We have a winner!
…make it go your way.
My name is Sweet ‘n Sour. And WWCF is my next stop, and be ready… cause I’m going all in.
Sweet ‘n Sour is the newest Superstar who will soon be making his way to the WWCF.
Gorilla, this guy may be a 5-card stud, but the WWCF is high stakes!
Up next, KCB battles Buck Futter!
Buck Futter V. KCB
The following contest is set for one fall, with a 15 minute time limit!
*Walker Texas Ranger theme *
Introducing first, from Dallas, Texas, by way of Tampa, Florida, Buck Futter!
*My Way*
and his opponent, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 235 pounds, KCB!
The bell rings as Buck Futter runs for KCB and clocks him in the face.
KCB rolls with the punch to the ropes and returns to his feet as Buck Futter continues his assault.
KCB uses Buck Futter’s momentum against him to flip him over the ropes to the apron and then European uppercuts Buck Futter to the arena floor.
The ref begins his count.
1…
Buck Futter returns to his feet, shaking his head.
2…
KCB backs up to taunt Buck Futter as he returns to the ring and puts his dukes back up.
KCB looks at Buck Futter as if to say, “You’re serious?” to which Buck Futter nods and beckons to him.
KCB looks to the crowd who start to call him out on not continuing the match.
Buck Futter runs up to KCB and the men lock arms.
KCB twists Buck Futter’s arm for an arm bar, but Buck Futter twists out of it and attempts to side kick KCB, but KCB ducks out of the way, twists Buck Futter’s arm yet again, and DDT’s him from that position.
The crowd starts to boo KCB as he shrugs that their hero can’t seem to face him properly.
He goes to turn Buck Futter over, but Buck Futter kicks him off of him as he scrambles to his feet and shakes his head to gather his bearings again.
KCB beckons to Buck Futter this time, daring him to try an assault on him again.
Buck Futter runs up to lock arms with KCB but finds himself in a headlock.
KCB applies pressure, bringing Buck Futter to his knees…
The fans start a chant to get Buck Futter moving again…
It needs more chanting…
More chanting…
More chanting…
Buck Futter begins to stand up, punching KCB in the ribs, and then he hooks his arm around KCB’s head, and then his other arm around one of KCB’s leg.
As the pop reaches its peak, Buck Futter fully stands up and delivers a Samoan Drop to KCB who rolls out of the ring in pain.
The ref begins his count as Buck Futter falls backfirst into the mat to get a breather.
1…
2…
3…
4…
KCB begins to return to his feet.
5…
6…
KCB is back on his feet; Buck Futter notices and kicks himself back up.
7…
KCB rolls into the ring as Buck Futter stoops to his knees and begins pounding on his head.
KCB rolls back out of the ring and backs up to the railing.
The ref begins his count again.
1…
KCB moves to the left, but Buck Futter follows him from the ring
2…
KCB moves to the right, and Buck Futter follows him from the ring again.
3…
A fan yells at KCB.
4…
KCB approaches the fan and starts arguing with him.
5…
Buck Futter slides out of the ring as KCB continues his argument.
6…
The fan points behind KCB, who turns around and is met with another fist to the face from Buck Futter.
7…
KCB backs up from Buck Futter, who runs towards him.
8…
KCB moves out of the way as Buck Futter misses him in trying to deliver a Shining Wizard and hits the ring steps instead.
9…
KCB rolls into the ring and jumps for joy at his victory.
10!
The ref calls for the bell.
Your winner by way of a Count Out, KCB!
The fans boo as KCB exits the ring but Buck Futter is back to his feet and chases him backstage for his treachery.
KCB gets the win, but this issue is not over with yet!
Buck did not like the way that went down Gorilla, and neither do the fans!
Well, I’m sure these two will meet again sometime real soon, but now, it’s time for our main event, so let‘s go to the ring!
Main Event: Jazzman V. YellowJacket
Ladies and gentlemen, this is your non-title main event here on Heatz and it is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Lancaster PA... YELLOWJACKET!
*"Going Down in Flames" comes on the PA as the cocky and brash Yellow Jacket makes his way out to the ring.*
Lets not forget folks, that Yellow Jacket put Evil M on the shelf in his debut last week on Niteraw and has sworn to do the same to Jazzman tonight.
YellowJacket grabs the mic.
"Jazz music has got to have that thing. You have to be born with it." A quote from Miles Davis.
Replace the word jazz with wrestling, and you'll have a new quote that fits both me and my opponent perfectly. Some are born with wrestling talent, such as myself. Others are born without it, such as my opponent, Jazzman.
The ones born without it neglect the fact that they'll never have the skills to be a wrestler. They'll spend countless hours in the gym, bulking up their physique. They'll pay most likely stolen cash to partake in wrestling lessons. Lessons in which don't pay off.
Despite the atrocious nature of their work, wrestling promotions will still hire them, to explicate their roster. The calamitous thing is that sometimes, these feeble men are able to get in touch with Lady Luck, and find their way to the top.
Jazzman has done this. A man who cannot wrestle if his life depended on it. A man who scraped by on the bare minimum, yet somehow slithered his way to the top. A man who, despite his many flaws, main events shows and competes for high-caliber championships.
Tonight, I'm on a mission. My mission is to expose Jazzman for what he truly is: nothing. So start playing the blues, Louis Armstrong. For you are about to meet your doom.
He drops the mic and waits for his opponent.
And his opponent, the reigning and undisputed WWCF champion... this is JAZZMAN!
*The crowd cheers as "Lilac Lane" kicks in and the champion comes out to the cheers of the crowd with the WWCF title around his waist. He walks down to the ring before sliding in as the bell rings*
The two men meet in the center of the ring and go face to face before Yellow Jacket drops down as shoots in for his patented double leg takedown. He gets on Jazzman's back and looks to work in for a half nelson to turn him with for the fall attempt. Jazzman works hard to get his base underneath him before standing up and escaping the grasp of Yellow Jacket.
Looks like we will be seeing an amateur style match here Gorilla.
The two men meet again in the center of the ring for some handfighting before Yellow Jacket grabs a hold of the wrist of Jazzman to cinch in a wristlock, which Jazzman transitions out of with some fancy movement to put Yellow Jacket into a Hammerlock. The two continue to trade chain wrestling maneuvers to the delight of the crowd. The beautiful action is quickly changed when Jazzman sends Yellow Jacket off the ropes and nails him with a kick to the face, causing him to roll to the outside to complain to the fans.
The fans are really giving it to Yellow Jacket here!
Jacket eventually makes his way back into the ring and nails Jazzman with a knee to the stomach before dropping behind for a release German suplex. He crawls on Jazzman and hooks the leg, but gets only one.
Jazzman gets up slowly and walks right in japanese arm drag by Yellow Jacket. Jacket lands a few stomps before rolling Jazzman onto his stomach and going for the Crossface!
Jacket's got that Crossface licked in Gorilla!
Jazzman begins to struggle his way toward the ropes before getting his foot on the rope causing the hold to be broken.
Jazzman gets the hold broken, but the damage may be done! He's in real trouble here!
Yellow Jacket breaks the hold and whips Jazzman into the corner. He looks for the Stinger Splash, but Jazzman moves! Jazzman runs toward Yellow Jacket and hits Takin' The A Train! He rolls on top of Yellow Jacket as the referee counts to 3!
Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner... JAZZMAN!
Even though Jazzman got the win here tonight Gorilla, I was really impressed with the effort given by Yellow Jacket.
Indeed Jesse, but Jazzman keeps his momentum up as he rolls toward his title defense against Littlenaitch at Night of The Wrestling Zombies. For Jesse King, I'm Tim Hoss saying thanks for watching and we'll catch you next week on Sunday Night HEATZ!
Credits: Jonathan Michaels, Aaron Enigma, M.O.P., Evil M, Sweet ‘N’ Sour, Boiler Room Brawler, YellowJacket, and Jazzman
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