June 15th, 2009
Welcome to Monday NiteRaw! I’m Gorilla Tim Hoss, and with me, like a bad habit, Jesse King!
Gorilla, tonight is gonna be incredible!
I won‘t dispute that Jess. We have five big matches for you!
In our opening contest, The General of the Monkey Army, “Evil La Parka“, and The Headbanger Man square off in a triple threat hardcore match, with Evil Masked wordlifeecw watching from ringside.
Then, the Heatz!!1 Champion, Viva Los Bio Dome, will be in action.
And after that, we have the semifinals of Seth Drakin‘s Tournament of Honor. Tyfo faces Aaron Engma, and grbjazzman battles Jonathan Michaels.
And then, we have our main event! King Motor-Colt, WWCF Inter-Forum Champion Above Average, Cthulhu, and the WWCF World Champion Cthulhu will take on Doley, Legion, Starshine, and Montego Bay AlcoholicWeight Champion, TTS in a huge 8-man tag team war!
Gorilla, with action like that, who needs porn? Wait, what did I just say…?!
…..Let‘s go to the ring for our opening contest.
Hardcore Triple Threat Match: General of the Monkey Army V. Headbanger Man V. “Evil La Parka“
*The arena goes dark, as Kane’s original theme plays. Suddenly, pyro erupts, and Thunderstruck starts playing, as Evil Masked wordlifeecw makes his way towards the announce table*
And we have a very special guest here, Jess. The Hardcore Champion, wordlifeecw! Welcome, wordlife!
Thank you Tim. Jesse, what’s wrong? You look a little nervous.
Me? Nah, I ain’t nervous!
Then get out from under the table!
Oh. Sorry
The follwing contest is a Hardcore triple threat match!
(King Kong 2004 theme)
Introducing first, from Lansing, Michigan, weighing in at 225 pounds, THE GENERAL OF THE MONKEY ARMY!
- General comes out with his pet monkey, but due to the violent nature of the upcoming match, tells him to go to the backstage area and wait for him. The monkey is passed to a stage hand who does so.
Here comes the former Champion. Wordlife, back in February, you defeated the General to capture the Hardcore Title.
Hold on Gorilla! EMW, my question is this. Why did you wait so long to give the General a rematch? Were you afraid he’d beat you?
Well, no. I lobbied for the General to receive a rematch as soon as it was possible, but the “Powers That Be” had other things in mind. But I can’t wait to defend this title at Wheel of Misfortune. No matter who walks out with the title, it will be a match for the ages.
(Wild Child)
Introducing next, from Kent in England, weighing 263 pounds, THE HEADBANGER MAN!
And here’s your most recent challenger, The Headbanger-
EMW, why a five man match? Doesn’t The Headbanger Man deserve another shot at the belt, 1-on-1?
Well, Jesse, Headbanger Man has definitely been my biggest challenge to date. He’s a persistent son of a bitch. To answer your question, though, the reason I chose a five man match is because every single one of these guys deserves a shot at the title. This way, none of them can claim they’ve been overlooked.
Headbanger man enters and grabs the mic
Wordlife, I'm glad you're out here to watch this match. Tonight I will give you just a little sample of what to expect at Wheel of Misfortune, where I'll finally be winning that title of yours!
(La Parka WCW theme)
And making his way to the ring, from Mexico City, weighing 225 pounds, "EVIL LA PARKA"!
La Parka walks towards the ring, but stops at the announce booth. EMW stands up and stares down La Parka.
Um, wordlifeecw, why don’t you have a seat?
La Parka enters the ring and the match begins.
- Each man goes under the apron to look for weapons. Headbanger Man pulls a steel chair out, and goes to hit The General, but he ducks out of the way, and hits a low blow to Headbanger. "Evil La Parka" then nails General with a kendo stick and goes for an early cover, but General kicks out.
And it didn’t take long for the weapons to come into play.
No Gorilla, it certainly didn’t. EMW, I know seeing all those weapons is making you wanna get in there, but you gotta restrain yourself.
Well, you’re right Jess. I would like to get in there myself, but watching these guys beat the hell out of each other is almost as fun as beating the hell out of them myself. Almost.
- "Evil" rolls both opponents into the ring, and springboard dropkicks them at the same time. He hits a scoop slam on Headbanger, and goes to the top rope, but General runs the ropes, causing "Evil" to land awkwardly. General hits a superplex, but Headbanger breaks up the subsequent pinfall attempt.
So far, nobody’s gotten a real advantage.
wordlife, how do you prepare for a match like this?
Well, Jesse, you don’t. You just go in there and swing ‘til you can’t swing anymore.
- Headbanger hits a DDT on General, and then goes to the outside. He throws an array of weapons into the ring, but soon gets hit with a baseball slide by General. Both men brawl on the outside, until "Evil" surprises them both with a suicide dive over the top rope, which takes them out.
And La Parka with an incredible dive over the top rope!
Hey, EMW! Why don’t we see you doing moves like that? It’s the same old punch-and-kick routine with you.
Y’know, Jesse. Maybe you’ll see me do something like that in the very near future.
- "Evil" whips Headbanger into the steel steps, and then throws General face first into the ring apron. He rolls General into the ring, and sets up for the lionsault, but General moves out of the way. However, "Evil" lands on his feet, and hits a spinning back kick to the gut of General, followed by a backbreaker, for a 2 count.
A close call there, eh wordlifeecw?
Definitely. These three guys can go, we know that.
- Headbanger blindsides "Evil" with a flying clothesline from the top rope, but this time he only manages 2. He grabs a trash can lid and nails "Evil" in the head with it, causing him to fall through the ropes to the outside. General recovers, and hits Headbanger with an double sledge from behind, followed by a running knee lift, the force of which sends Headbanger tumbling to the outside as well.
And that’s why The General is a former Hardcore Champion! He’s still got it!
- General hits both men with kendo stick shots, and then starts removing the monitors from the commentary table. He stares at Wordlife, and then decks Headbanger with one of the monitors, which busts him open. General grabs "Evil", and hits him with a series closed fist punches. He sets "Evil" up on the announce table, and goes to the top rope. However, before he can do anything, Headbanger hits a low blow on General, causing him to fall backwards into the ring.
What a despicable move by The Headbanger Man!
Hey! It’s all legal in a hardcore match, right EMW?
Absolutely.
- Headbanger throws the steel steps into the ring, and tries to hit a piledriver on General, however it is countered into a back body drop. General hits a standing monkey flip onto Headbanger, before hitting a spinebuster right onto the steps. He goes for the pin, but just before he can get the 3 count, "Evil" scores with a guillotine legdrop on General to break up the pinfall.
La Parka making sure the match continues.
They’re gonna have to work for it, just like at Wheel of Misfortune.
- "Evil" places a chair onto General, and then hits a lionsault! "Evil" winces in pain after delivering the move, but goes for the cover...and gets 2.9, as General barely lifts up a shoulder! "Evil" hits a running bulldog, and goes to the top turnbuckle. He points towards Wordlife, and then attempts a frog splash, but General manages to avoid the contact. He drapes an arm over "Evil", but only manages a 2 count again!
If they would do this to each other just for the hell of it, what‘s gonna happen when the title‘s on the line?
I can’t wait to find out.
- General hits a vertical suplex on "Evil", right onto a steel chair. He grabs a street sign, and begins hammering him with it, however Headbanger sneaks up behind General and hits a reverse DDT. Headbanger goes up top and scores with a Blockbuster...but still only gets a near-fall! Headbanger goes to the outside and pulls a table from underneath the ring.
Table for one!
Or maybe two.
- Headbanger sets the table up by the turnbuckles, but before he can do anything else, General spins him around and NAILS the Monkey's Paw! General celebrates to the fans, but "Evil" comes back and hits a huge missile dropkick. He slingshots General into the far corner, and then hits a hurracanrana out of the corner.
La Parka’s all fired up now, Jess!
This match might not last much longer!
Don’t count Headbanger Man or The General out just yet, guys.
- "Evil" signals that its time for the X-Ray, but he notices the table in the ring. He drags General towards it, and places him on the table. However, Headbanger stumbles to his feet, and clotheslines "Evil". Headbanger picks up "Evil" for the Double Bass DDT, but he fights out of it. "Evil" runs at Headbanger, but receives a drop toe hold right onto the steel steps.
What’d I tell ya?
La Parka just made a mistake that might cost him the match!
- General recovers, and nails Headbanger with a shot to the gut. He then places Headbanger in the corner near where the table is set up, and hits the 10-punches. He tries to superplex Headbanger through the table, but he manages to fight his way out with punches to the mid-section, before hitting a sudden Tigerbomb off the top rope through the table! Just before "Evil" can break up the pinfall attempt, Headbanger Man manages to get the 1-2-3.
Here is your winner...THE HEADBANGER MAN!
Enjoy it Headbanger Man. Because I WILL be walking out of Wheel of Misfortune with the Hardcore Championship.
- Headbanger gingerly scales the top turnbuckle and air drums towards the crowd, before making a belt motion towards Wordlife. However, "Evil" powerbombs him off the top rope, and hits the X-Ray on Headbanger, before standing tall in the ring as the crowd applauds the efforts of all 3 men.
Well, Headbanger Man may have won the match, but La Parka get’s the final word in at the end. Wordlifeecw, thank you for your time.
No problem.
Evil Masked wordlifeecw leaves the table.
Well folks, coming up next, Viva Los Bio Dome is in action!
Viva Los Bio Dome V. Stevierichardsfan Babyface w/ Eli
*Safety Dance*
This match is set for one fall, with a 15 minute time limit. Introducing first, from Hayward, California, weighing in at 195 pounds, he is the Heatz!!1 Champion, Viva Los Bio Dome!
*Leave The Memories Alone*
And his opponent. From Badstreet USA, weighing in at 225 pounds, and being accompanied by Eli, Stevierichardsfan Babyface!
Viva attacks Stevie before the bell, nailing him with punches and kicks, before hitting a slam and covering him.
1
2
Kickout. Viva stays on Stevie, choking him.
1
2
3
4
Viva breaks the hold, then reapplies it.
1
2
3
4
Viva breaks the hold again. Viva tosses Stevie into the corner, and hit’s a running splash, followed by an STO. Cover.
1
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Kickout.
Viva yanks Stevie up by the hair, and goes for the Bio DOME, but…
IT’S KODA!!!! KODA ATTACKING THE HEATZ!!1 Champion!
Koda pummels Viva, and hit’s the Arkam Straight Jacket. The referee calls for the bell.
Here is your winner, as the result of a disqualification, Viva Los Bio Dome!
Eli enters the ring to check on Stevie, as Koda goes after Viva again, but Viva rolls to the outside. Koda kicks the bottom rope, then turns around, grabs Eli, and spews Joker Venom in her face. As she starts laughing uncontrollably, Koda nails her with the Killing Joke. Koda exits, as officials enter to check on Stevie and Eli.
Koda and Viva are nearing the end, Jess. At Wheel of Misfortune, it will be their final battle.
Gorilla, they will give it everything they have. We will see a match for the ages.
And speaking of a battle for the ages, up next, grbjazzman V. Jonathan Michaels, in the semifinals of Seth Drakin’s Tournament of Honor!
Tournament of Honor Semifinal Match: grbjazzman V. Jonathan Michaels
Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is being contested under the Rules Of Honor.
Sing, Sng, Sung - Gordon Goodwin
Making his way to the ring, from Fulton, NY, weighing in at 206 pounds, grbjazzman!
grbjazzman struts down to the ring.
DOA - Foo Fighters
And his opponent, from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 235 pounds, Jonathan Michaels!
Jonathan walks to the ring with purpose and climbs in the ring.
The referee checks the two men for weapons, then calls for the bell.
Jonathan and grbjazzman lock up, when suddenly a deep booming voice interrupts, a man in a ski mask is standing at the top of the ramp, holding a photograph in one hand and a vocal distorter in the other.
Jonathan Michaels!
Jonathan turns around to look at the mystery man, the man holds up the photo, it is a photo of a gorgeous young Asian woman.
Does this woman look familiar?
Jonathan has a look of both fear and rage in his eyes.
This is your girlfriend, Sarah Nakatomi, if you don't comply with my wishes . . .
The man rips the photograph in two.
The choice is up to you.
Jonathan looks at grbjazzman, who is just as surprised as Michaels, Jonathan lowers his head and walks towards grbjazzman with his hand out, grbjazzman shakes his hand, and Jonathan turns around slowly towards the man with a look of pure fury in his eyes, Michaels leaps over the top rope and runs at top speed towards the mystery man.
The man runs away as Jonathan gives chase, the referee begins the count.
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
The ref calls for the bell.
Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, by countout, grbjazzman!
grbjazzman raises his hand, confused.
Well, grbjazzman advances, but we may have a very serious situation right now, it appears a masked mak has just threatened Jonathan's girlfriend, let's go to the back and see if Jonathan has found him.
The camera is running behind Michaels as he looks desperately for the masked man.
WHERE IS HE?
Jonathan runs toward the exit, where he spots the mask laying on the ground next to the door, he punches the wall.
DAMN IT!
Well, that definitely didn’t go like I expected it to.
Jonathan Michaels must have something wrong with him, throwing away the match, all over some broad?
I’m sure he had his reasons. Moving on, we have Aaron Enigma taking on Tyfo in our second semifinal match, next!
Tournament of Honor Semifinal Match: Aaron Enigma V. Tyfo
The following contest is set for one fall, and it is a semifinal match in Seth Drakin's Tournament of Honor!
*New Blackjacks Theme*
Introducing first, from Dallas, Texas, weighing in at 245 pounds, he represents WWCF Corporate, Tyfo!
"Elementary my dear Watson!"
*Know Your Enemy*
And his opponent, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 256 pounds, and representing the Story, Aaron Enigma!
The match begins with Aaron and Tyfo locking up but Tyfo quickly kicking Aaron in the midsection. He throws Aaron off the ropes but Aaron connects with a shoulder block to knock Tyfo down. Aaron bounces off the ropes but runs over Tyfo, who quickly gets up and hits Aaron with a release belly to belly suplex. He quickly jumps on Aaron and locks a chinlock in on him.
Aaron struggles to break free from the chinlock, but eventually climbs to his feet. He grabs Tyfo around the waist and hits a back suplex, leaving both men on the ground. Tyfo crawls to the ropes and uses it to get to his feet. He runs at Aaron but Aaron trips him up with a drop-toe hold. Aaron quickly lifts Tyfo up and goes for the Brilliant Deduction but Tyfo counters it and hits a jawbreaker. Aaron clutches his face as Tyfo locks in another chinlock.
Aaron manages to get to his feet and elbows Tyfo in the chest to break the hold, but Tyfo quickly chop blocks his knee. Aaron falls again and Tyfo goes for the pin.
1....2.Aaron kicks out!
Tyfo picks Aaron up and whips him into the corner. He runs and jumps to splash Aaron but Aaron counters by catching him and hitting an STO on Tyfo. He picks him up quickly and hits a series of kicks on Tyfo. A kick to the back of the leg followed by a spinning kick to the stomach, an enziguri then a reverse roundhouse kick. Tyfo falls to the mat seemingly unconscious. Aaron goes for the pin.
1.....2....Tyfo just manages to get his shoulder up!
Aaron picks up Tyfo and tries to hit a reverse STO but Tyfo counters and hits a reverse STO of his own. Tyfo goes for the pin.
1.....2....Aaron barely kicks out!
Tyfo gets frustrated at the ref and leaves the ring to grab a chair. The ref warns Tyfo that if he hits Aaron he will lose the match but Tyfo shoves him aside. Taking aim at Aaron he swings the chair down but Aaron dodges out of the way and quickly gets to his feet. Tyfo turns around to be met with a reverse STO. Aaron stands up and sees the chair. He picks it up, and thinks for a few seconds about the consequences of using the chair.
To everyone's surprise, Aaron uses the chair on the downed Tyfo and hits him in the back. The bell rings and Aaron is disqualified but he is not done. With an evil glint in his eyes, he hits Tyfo once more in the back before placing the chair on the ground. He then picks up the weakened Tyfo and hits the Brilliant Deduction, planting Tyfo's head right on the chair. Aaron slowly gets up and looks at the downed Tyfo, a satisfied grin on his face, as he hops out of the ring and up the entrance ramp.
Well, Tyfo wins the match, but Aaron’s the one standing tall in the end.
I would not want to be M.O.P. come Wheel of Misfortune.
And speaking of M.O.P., ladies and gentlemen, we have received exclusive footage of M.O.P's trip to the zoo with young fan Timmy Thomson. After what happened last night on Heatz, I'm not sure what's going to happen here, folks. So let's go to the tape.
We see a black Cadillac Escalade pull into a parking space in an outdoor lot. M.O.P. walks out of the driver's seat, opening the passenger's front door.
M.O.P.: C'mon. Get out.
An upset looking Timmy Thomson climbs out the door. Tears are welling in his eyes.
Timmy: i want to go home...
I promised ya I'd take you to the zoo, Timmy. Unlike that Private Dick you call a hero, I don't break my word. So stop your snivilin' and let's go to the zoo! The Penguin Show is at 1:30 and I'm NOT going to miss it! You like penguins, Timmy?
Timmy slowly nods his head up and down.
Good. I love penguins, too. Everyone loves penguins except your hero, Aaron Enigma. He wants to eat penguins! What kind of disgusting, despicable human being wants to eat those cute little buggers?! Not me, that's for sure!
Timmy reluctantly takes M.O.P's hand as he drags him to the Zoo entrance.
...
After the Penguin Show, M.O.P. takes Timmy to the Feeding Area. Pulling some strings and slipping a five to the keeper, he gives a fish to M.O.P.
Want to feed the penguins, Timmy?
yes, pl--
Too bad!
M.O.P. gives the fish to the penguin, who eats it happily. He then walks Timmy out of the exhibit and along the zoo's pathways, not taking time to see all the animals that Timmy wants to look at.
Let that be an important lesson for you, kid. No one gets handouts in this world. If you want to do something, you have to earn it. A lesson your hero the Private Dick doesn't want to teach you. He's taken handout after handout throughout his entire career. And what does he have to show for it? He's the least useful member of The Story. He hasn't won a single championship in his entire WWCF career, content to feed on the crumbs Motor-Colt, Evil M, and Above Average feed him, like the diseased pigeon he is.
aaron enigma is my hero..
Your hero is a loser, Timmy. A failure. A fake. And if he continues to be your hero, YOU will be a failure and a loser. If Aaron Enigma is your role model, know where you'll be in twenty years? Well, I'll tell you. Can you say this, Timmy?: "You want fries with that?"
Tears begin to roll down Timmy's cheek.
y-you w-want fries with d-dat?
Exactly like that. You can do better than to worship a false idol like Enigma. Follow a champion's example. My example. Or Littlenaitch's. Or Tyfo's. Or Cth--. M.O.P. pauses for a second. On second thought, don't follow in Cthulhu's example.
...
After a long day, M.O.P. pulls up in front of a two story home in Suburbia, USA. He walks Timmy to the door and rings the doorbell. A young couple in their early 30's answers. The man is wearing an Aaron Enigma t-shirt. Timmy runs in and his parents hug him.
John Thomson: Timmy!
Jane Thomson: How was your day?
Mr. and Mrs. Thomson, your son was his tone changes from nice to vicious one of the most unappreciative little bastards I have ever encountered! I take time out of my incredibly busy schedule to take him to the zoo, and what do I get? 'Wah, I don't like you anymore.' 'Aaron Enigma is my hero!' 'You're a doodyhead!' He glares at Mr. Thomson's shirt. And I see where the source of this poison is, Mr. Thomson. I think it's time to show Timmy that Father Doesn't Know Best.
M.O.P. punches Mr. Thomson in the jaw and starts beating down on him in front of his wife and son.
OH MY GOD! STOP! PLEASE STOP!
DADDY!!!
M.O.P. ignores them as he stomps on Mr. Thomson, now huddled on the floor and bloodied up.
Take this you sonofabitch!
M.O.P. grabs Mr. Thomson by the hair and slams him face first into a wall, knocking him unconscious. Seeing that his work is done, he stares into the camera as a crying Mrs. Thomson and Timmy kneel over the fallen head of the Thomson household.
Aaron, this is but a taste of what lies in store for you at Spin the Wheel. You say we have a special wheel full of weapons, fine. I like that very much. But I think we should each have our own handpicked ones among the choices. As for mine, they'll be sledgehammers and tables.
See you on Sunday. Hero.
My God. I... I have no words to describe what just happened there.
For once, I'm actually speechless. I can't begin to describe my disgust at what we just saw. I think M.O.P. has gone way out of line.
Let's move on to something more pleasant, shall we?
King Motor-Colt, Inter-Forum Champion Above Average, Cthulhu, and WWCF World Champion LittleNaitch V. Starshine, Doley, Legion, and Montego Bay AlcoholicWeight Champion, TTS
The following contest is your eight man tag main event. It is scheduled for one fall and has a sixty minute time limit. Introducing first-
Woah woah woah! Hang on a second Michael Muffer
*Starshine appears on the stage and makes his way down to the ring*
Before you start your announcements for this match I have some thing a lot more important, and for that matter vocally pleasing than anything you have to offer. So shoo. Get out of my ring.
*Muffer leaves with little protest but is visually irritated*
Now before I get started I'd like to invite someone out first. Mr. Sam, would you please come out?
*The Sam's music starts up as The Sam walks out with a questioning look across his face. He enters the ring as Starshine holds the ropes open for him.*
Now Sam I'm going to be blunt here. We have a problem. In fact we have a big problem. It seems like the stitches of the Corporate net are beginning to tear. Last week I had the misfortune to have my long time tag team partner desert amongst a vail of bitterness and dissatisfaction. The point I'm trying to make here is that we, you and I, can't afford this. We can't have our fellow employees breaking their contract and going AWOL. I was trying to find the focus of the problem. The so-called weak link in the chain. And so far I think I found it. I found what was threatening to break up the band. That's why I called you specifically out here. I want everyone to know what I think the problem is. I want to point the finger at the one responsible. I want him to know exactly how useless he is. Coincidentally that person is standing in this ring. I want to say something to you Sam, and I want you to listen because it's very important. Sam the person who's to blame for this situation is... it's me.
I admit it Sam, I haven't been the model employee you and Mr. D-Dave deserve. I've burnt personal bridges and I've done things I'm not proud of. But the worst thing I did was let it happen. All this stuff with Square, I could have stepped in and mended the situation. I could have calmed the tensions. But I didn't. I should have known better, but I was more concerned with my own personal goals, I wasn't thinking of the good of the Corporation, of the company. But I want you to know that I can change. That I want to change. In fact that's why I called you out at this time. This match... it could end us. We need focus. We need stability. But what we need more than anything, is unity.
I propose that we shuffle the card around. Unite the Corporate teams together. Let's not divide our losses. Instead we can unite our wins. Sam please, I don't want to fight Li... I don't want to fight any Corporate members, and deep down I know they feel the same way. You have the power to change it. I'm sure you know what's best.
Well first off Starshine, I want to say it takes a real man to realize when they have made a mistake. And in my books, you are a real man for admitting yours. Unlike Square, who abandoned you, me and all of these fans. (fans boo)
So seeing what we have in store for tonight I will agree to your demands.
Tonight, we will have an 8 man tag match. On Team 2 will be...Motor Colt (fans cheer)....Above Average(fans cheer)....Legion (fans cheer)....Doley(fans cheer) versus Team 1, or as I like to call it, Team Corporate.This team will include The World's Champion, Littlenaitch..."Mr MVP" Tyfo....The Technical Professional Starshine...and his tag team partner for the Tag Team Title match on Sunday Night Heatz *sigh*....TTS.
Good luck....oh and before I leave Starshine, just remember. If we lose tonight, it's on YOUR head. Have a good match.
*Sam leaves the ring*
Thank you Mr. Sam, I... We won't let you down.
I can't believe this, that Starshine is nothing but a brown nosing coward. We had a perfectly fine main event lined up. How can they pull this stunt off on our fans?
Well Gorilla, it's not always about what the fans want. Big business knows that. The Corporate are just doing what they think is best for everyone.
I very much doubt that.
Introducing first, representing WWCF Corporate, he is the self proclaimed 'Technical Professional'! *Starshine glares at Muffer* A-hem, he is Starshine!
*Southwest's theme starts up. Little Naich, Tyfo and TTS arrive out together. Little Naich especially appears unhappy.*
Coming in at a combined weight of 770 pounds and representing WWCF Corporate. Tyfo, TTS and the WWCF Champion, Little Naich!
*The Corporate team enter the ring.*
*The Story's theme begins playing. Motor Colt and Above Average enter.*
Now coming out representing The Story and at a combined weight of 507 pounds. They are Inter-Forum Champion Above Average and King Motor Colt.
*Legion's theme begins playing. Legion and Doley make their way down.*
Weighing at a combined weight of 533 pounds. They are the tag team of Legion and Doley.
*All four members of the new team gather outside the ring and stare down The Corporate inside. Together they rush the ring causing Tyfo, Starshine and TTS exiting. Little Naich simply leans on the ropes. All four members climb the corners and play the crowd.*
First fall wins this one folks.
That's right Gorilla, you gotta keep your eyes open at all times. Anyone can sneak away with the win here.
You never know what tricks to expect from the WWCF Corporate. Well it looks like Above Average and Tyfo are starting this one out.
Eight great competitors here. It will be interesting to see whether both teams can stay on the same page here. Is it just me Gorilla, or does the World Champion seem just a little out of place with his present company?
That he does, Jesse. We'll just have to let the action speak for this one.
The Story (Motor Colt and Above Average), Legion and Doley vs. WWCF Corporate (Little Naitch, Tyfo, Starshine and TTS)
Tyfo and AA meet in the center of the ring. Tyfo raises his hands and challenges him to a test of strength. They come to grips but neither budges. Tyfo gives the "gun show" pose as AA rolls his eyes. They lock up and Tyfo begins pushing forward. AA stops the momentum and shoves Tyfo down to the mat. Tyfo is shocked. He quickly tags out to Starshine. Starshine cockily enters the ring. Both talk trash to one another. AA feigns a Super Kick, and Starshine falls to the mat. He quickly crawls back to his corner and tags in TTS. TTS enters the ring, stares at AA, shakes his head and tags in Naich to the crowds applause.
Naich and AA lock up. Naich transitions to a go behind and brings AA to the mat. AA shifts the weight and rolls into an arm wringer, bringing both to their feet. Naich rolls to the mat and still holding AA's arm spins around gaining the pressure as he gets back to his feet. AA pushes Naich who bridges back and holds on to the move. Naich powers back up, but AA trips him down freeing himself from the hold. Missed elbow drop from AA. Naich trips him, cover, AA pushes him off. Back to their feet. Headlock takeover by AA. Naich spins into a front facelock, both back to their feet. AA to a belly to back position. Back suplex, Naich lands on his feet. Both rush one another with fists in the air but stop less than a meter from contact. The crowd cheers and both smile and shake hands backing into their respective corners. Naich smiles and points to Colt to strong crowd support. AA asks the crowd and tags him in. Blind tag to Naich by Starshine. Starshine rushes the surprised Colt with a forearm. He picks Colt up and knees him in the midsection. snapmare to a chinlock in the middle of the ring. Starshine connects with more knees into the back and pulls back on the chinlock. He stands up and pats his right leg. He runs the ropes a few times and feigns a kick, but instead applies the chinlock again. Colt struggles to release Starshine's and gets to his feet. He breaks Starshine's hold and delivers a sit-down jawbreaker. Colt runs at the stumbling Starshine and connects with a knee lift. Starshine stumbles back to his feet and is met with a swinging neckbreaker. Colt climbs the top rope and connects with a flying forearm. Colt signals for The Final Thought and attempts the hold. Starshine desperately fights as Colt is unable to completely apply the move. Starshine manages to tag in TTS.
TTS clubs Colt in the back causing him to completely release the hold. He delivers another blow to the back and applies an arm wrench. He pushes Colt into the ropes and Irish whips him off. Colt ducks a clothesline on the rebound and launches into a cross body. TTS catches him, and walks around the ring. He turns him onto a vertical scoop but Colt slips out. Colt ducks a clothes line and tags out to Doley. Doley hits a drop kick that only causes TTS to stumble back. Another one, but he's still standing. Doley runs the ropes and hits a big boot, flooring TTS. He goes for the pin but TTS kicks out at 1. Doley picks him up and connects with a toe kick. He then runs the ropes and goes for a scissors kick. TTS moves and catches Doley with a spinning side slam. He goes for the pin but Doley powers out at 2. TTS picks him up and hits a running bulldog, ending up in his corner. Starshine tags in and while TTS holds him down stomps him. The ref sends TTS outside and Starshine applies an Abdominal Stretch. He taunts Legion causing him to enter, but he is stopped by the ref. As the referee is distracted, Starshine holds out his arm and TTS grabs it adding pressure to the hold. Legion exits the ring and TTS lets go. Starshine transitions into an STO position and delivers a backbreaker. He tags out to Tyfo. Tyfo enters and steps on Doley's back. He picks up Doley and delivers a powerslam. He goes for the pin but with a smug smile, lifts Doley up at one. He teases and taunts Doley's attempts to get to his corner and throws him into one of the adjacent corners. He follows up with a huge corner clothesline. He then whips Doley into his corner and taunts AA causing him to enter and argue, distracting the ref. Starshine and TTS use the distraction to choke Doley with their individual tag ropes. The in ring situation calms and Tyfo delivers a boot to the slumped Doley. Tyfo stops his offense to taunt the crowd as Doley begins desperately crawling back into his corner. Tyfo notices and launches down to stop him. Starshine and TTS rush the opposing corner but are both knocked down and out by the other team members. Tyfo grasps on to Doley's boot. Doley hops to his feet and tries an enzuguri. Tyfo ducks, but Doley rolls sending Tyfo into his corner where he is assaulted by Colt, AA and Legion. Doley dives into his corner and tags in Legion.
Legion rushes in and decks Tyfo. Starshine and TTS rush back in. Legion takes out Starshine with a back body drop and levels TTS with a huge lariat. Tyfo stumbles around the ring and tags in Little Naich. Little Naich lumps in and hits the ropes. He ducks a big boot and schoolboys Legion for a quick two. Both back to their feet and Naich delivers a chop. He whips Legion into the ropes and delivers a hip toss immediately followed by an elbow drop. Pin for two. Little Naich is in control and delivers another series of chops to Legion's already red chest. Legion backs up to his corner and Colt tags in.
Colt and Naich circle one another. They grapple up but it's a stalemate. Colt smiles and offers his hand out to Naich, who shakes back. Colt still in the grip, spins Naich into a hammerlock. Naich turns out of it and chops Colt's chest. Naich shakes his finger at Colt and grins. They lock up again and Colt gains control, shifting into a 3/4 nelson and delivering a snapmare. Colt delivers a kick to the sitting Naich's chest but he catches the boot and spins into a mini dragon twist. Naich attempts the Figure 4 Leg Lock, but Colt small packages him for a two count. Both get to their feet and Naich hits another sharp chop. Colt clutches his chest as Naich charges him for a knee strike. Colt dodges and spins him into a front facelock. Colt lifts him up for the Story on Page One, but Naich slips out and rolls Colt up from behind for a two. As Colt gets to his feet near to his corner, Doley tags himself in.
Doley rushes the champ who manages to duck the big boot and deliver a chop to Doley's back. Naich follows up with a belly to back and a knee drop. Meanwhile Tyfo, Starshine and TTS huddle in their corner. Tyfo leaves his corner and makes his way around to the other side, grabbing a chair along the way. The referee admonishes him as AA jumps down to confront him. While this takes place Starshine and TTS sneak around the other way and drag Colt and Legion's feet from the apron. Legion and TTS begin brawling, ending up over the barricade and Colt regains his composure and begins beating on Starshine. Back in the ring Naich, distracted by everything outside and orders Tyfo to drop the chair. Doley gives Naich a chop block and locks in the ankle lock. Naich struggles to get to the ropes. Outside again, Colt whips Starshine into the crowd barricade, and picking up the now fallen Starshine signals for the Story on Page One. Colt lifts him up but Starshine "Blind Spots" as he's lifted. Starshine follows thing up with a stiff kick to the groin. Colt crumbles to the floor. Starshine climbs back to his corner. Naich continues to struggle for the ropes but Doley has the move completely locked in. Tyfo drops the chair and rushes in clubbing Doley in the back. AA follows and takes Tyfo back outside. Naich, using the ropes for leverage get to hi feet close to his corner. Starshine blind tags in, but Naich doesn't seem to notice. Doley rushes Naich with another big boot but Naich rolls through, catching his leg, turning him and locking in the Ankle Lock. Doley struggles in the ring, but can't reach the rope. Just as he looks to tap out, Starshine comes off the second rope with an elbow drop, causing the shocked Naich breaks the hold. Starshine pins Doley for the three.
Michael Muffer - The winner's of this match WWCF Corporate.
*Starshine smirks at Naich as Tyfo and TTS climb back in. The three celebrate as Naich shakes his head in disbelief. Motor Colt, AA and Legion climb back in, and Tyfo, Starshine and TTS clear the ring. AA and Legion check on Doley. They pick him up and carry him to the back. Back in the ring Colt is fuming. The timekeeper brings the WWCF World Title to the ring to hand to Naich. Colt grabs it first and stares down Naich. He looks at the belt and eventually offers it to Naich. Naich grabs the belt, but Colt doesn't release his grip. Both stare at the belt, then at each other, neither saying a word.*
Folks, next week, NiteRaw is being preempted for roller derby. But on Wednesday, June 24th, we have a special edition of Heatz!!1, featuring a big 4-way tag team match to determine new WWCF World Tag Team Champions!
And then after that Gorilla, Wheel of Misfortune. I can’t wait!
I’m Tim Hoss, he’s Jesse King. We’ll see next Wednesday for Heatz!!1 Goodnight!
Match writing credits: Headbanger Man, Evil M, Jonathan Michaels, Aaron Enigma, and Starshine. Day at the zoo skit written by M.O.P.
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