June 29th, 2009
Welcome to Wheel of Misfortune! I’m Gorilla Tim Hoss, and to my left, the most electrifying commentator in wrestling, Jesse King!
Can you feel it Gorilla? The tension, the anticipation? It’s all around us. Tonight, we will see Championships defended, rivalries come to a head, and careers will be changed forever! I can’t wait!
We have five big Championship matches for you folks! The WWCF World Champion LittleNaitch will defend against The Story’s King Motor-Colt, and his fellow Corporate member, Cthulhu!
Also, for the final time, Koda will challenge Viva Los Bio Dome for the Heatz!!1 Championship! Win or lose, this is the last time we will see these two face each other the title.
Montego Bay AlcoholicWeight Champion TTS will put his title up against Relegate Hunter in a match that is nearly two months in the making.
The WWCF Hardcore Championship will also be on the line, when Evil Masked wordlifeecw defends against 4 opponents in a match he stupidly requested! Tonight, I am predicting a Hardcore Title change, Gorilla!
That’s a bold prediction, though considering the competition wordlifeecw will be facing, you could be right Jess. Also tonight, Above Average defends the Inter-Forum Championship against Doley!
And let’s not leave out the Last Man Standing match between Aaron Enigma and M.O.P. This thing has gotten personal in recent weeks, and tonight, it’ll all come to a head!
And we have the finals of Seth Drakin’s Tournament of Honor. Either Tyfo or grbjazzman will be going on to face Seth Drakin for the Championship of Honor at Botch at the Beach!
What a night it’s gonna be!
And since this show is called Wheel of Misfortune, it’s only fitting that our Championship matches be decided with a spin of the wheel. Let’s go backstage to Fred G. Neric, who is standing by with the 5 competitors in our opening match for the WWCF Hardcore Championship!
*G. Neric is in the back, with The Headbanger Man, Jonathan Michaels, “Evil La Parka”, The General, and wordlifeecw*
Thank you Gorilla. Gentlemen, in a few moments, you five will face each other for that belt that wordlifeecw is holding. But first, let’s find out what type of match you’ll be participating in!
*G. Neric gives the wheel a spin, and it lands on…*
A Fruit and Lego Deathmatch! Wow, this is gonna be something! Back to you, Gorilla and Jesse!
Well, how bout that Jess? A Fruit and Lego Deathmatch! This oughta be good!
For those of you who are unfamiliar with this type of match, here’s how it’ll work: It’s basically a match with fruit scattered around the ring in containers and table made out of Legos. All use of these weapons are legal. The first man to score a pinfall or submission wins the match, and the WWCF Hardcore Championship.
Let’s go down to Michael Muffer for the introductions.
Fruit and Lego Deathmatch for the Hardcore Championship: The General of the Monkey Army V. “Evil La Parka” V. Jonathan Michaels V. Headbanger Man V. Evil Masked wordlifeecw ©
Ladies and gentlemen, our opening contest is set for one fall, and it is a Fruit and Lego Deathmatch for the WWCF Hardcore Championship!
*La Parka’s theme*
Introducing first, he is one of the challengers. From Mexico City, Mexico, weighing in at 225 pounds, he is the chair-man of WWCF, “Evil La Parka”!
La Parka walks to the ring, carrying his trademark chair.
*King Kong 2004*
Next, from Lansing, Michigan, weighing in at 225 pounds, The General of the Monkey Army!
The General enters, with Bingo the monkey sitting on his shoulder.
*Wild Child*
From Kent, England, weighing in at 263 pounds, The Headbanger Man!
Headbanger Man walks out, air drumming. When he get’s to the ring, he stops, pulls out a beer bottle, and smashes it over his own head. He then enters the ring.
*DOA*
Next, from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 240 pounds, Jonathan Michaels!
Michaels walks out through a cloud of smoke, highfiving the fans at ringside, but never taking his eyes off the ring. As he enters, the lights go off, and the opening chords of Kane’s theme plays. Pyro shoots off.
*Thunderstruck*
And, from Rockland, Massachusetts, weighing in at 320 pounds, he is the reigning and defending WWCF Hardcore Champion, Evil Masked wordlifeecw!
EMW walks to the ring, the Hardcore Title slung over his shoulder. When get’s in front of the ring, he stops, and set’s off his pyro, then rolls in as the bell rings.
Everyone immediately goes after the Champion. La Parka takes a swing at the Champ with his chair, but EMW grabs the chair and flings it out of the way. The General tackles EMW and pummels him with a flurry of punches, but the Evil Masked One shrugs it off, and nails the General with a throat thrust. Jonathan Michaels goes for a spear, but EMW moves, causing Michaels to go right through the ropes. EMW then turns around, only get nailed in the face with a pear! Headbanger Man continues to hammer wordlifeecw with the fruit, but The General surprises him with a rollup!
1
Kickout!
Both men get to their feet, but get pelted with cherries, courtesy of Jonathan Michaels. La Parka nails Michaels from behind with a chair. Cover.
1
EMW, Headbanger Man, and The General all break it up at the same time.
Headbanger Man grabs a lego off of the table, and tries to jab Michaels in the eye with it, but wordlifeecw breaks it up. The General blindsides EMW with a watermelon, and goes for the cover.
1
2
La Parka breaks it up with a chairshot, and covers The General.
1
2
Michaels breaks it up.
Michaels fires off some rapid quick punches at Parka, before slamming him on the watermelon, which explodes all over the ring. Cover.
1
2
Headbanger Man smashes a beer bottle over Michaels’ head. Cover.
1
2
EMW pulls Headbanger Man off.
EMW hit’s a sidewalk slam on Headbanger Man, but when he turns, The General nails him with a banana to the face. The General hit’s the Monkey Paw, but La Parka dropkick’s him to the floor, then covers EMW.
1
2
Kickout!
La Parka hit’s EMW with a chair, and covers him.
1
2
Kickout!
La Parka dropkick’s the chair in EMW’s face! Cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
La Parka slaps the mat in frustration, as the Champion sit’s up. La Parka punches EMW a few times, but to no effect. EMW throat thrust’s La Parka, and clothesline’s him over the top rope. La Parka lands on the lego table. EMW climbs to the top rope.
What is wordlifeecw thinking here- MOONSAULT!!!! EMW WITH A MOONSAULT!!!!
HE DROVE LA PARKA RIGHT THROUGH THE LEGO TABLE!!!! THERE ARE LEGOS EVERYWHERE!!!!
La Parka is out, and EMW is hurting on the outside. Inside the ring, Headbanger Man sets The General up for the Double Bass DDT, but there’s suddenly an explosion of pyro! The blast knocks both the General and Headbanger Man to the mat.
WHAT THE HELL?!!
EMW may have just saved his title there, Jess!
EMW slowly tries to get back in the ring, but Jonathan Michaels suddenly comes off the top rope with an elbow drop on The General! COVER!!!
1!
2!
3!
Here is your winner, and NEW WWCF Hardcore Champion, JONATHAN MICHAELS!!!!
Jonathan proudly raises the belt in the air, as wordlifeecw finally gets in the ring. The two stare at each other for a moment, then EMW extends a hand to Michaels. Michaels considers it for a moment, then shakes the former Champion’s hand, and the two embrace. EMW then rolls to the outside, allowing Michaels his moment.
What a way to open the show, huh Jess?
Indeed. We have a new Hardcore Champion, and his name is Jonathan Michaels.
Up next, TTS will defend his Montego Bay AlcoholicWeight Championship against Relegate Hunter. G. Neric is standing by with the two competitors, as they, like the rest of us, are about to learn what kind of match they’ll be competing in. Fred?
Well, TTS. Relegate Hunter. It’s time to find out just what type of match the Montego Bay AlcoholicWeight Championship will be contested in.
*G. Neric spins the wheel and it lands on…*
A Bathroom Break Match. OK, gentlemen. Here’s how it works. The match will take place in a bathroom. There will a vast assortment of weapons on hand. If you leave the bathroom, you have a 10 count to reenter, or the match will end. It’s pin or submission to win. Back to you guys at ringside.
Wow, this is a first Jess. Never before has there been a Bathroom Break match.
This should be very interesting Gorilla.
Right you are Jess. Also adding to the match, is that the Champion is not currently in possession of the belt.
All because of that dirty, rotten Whitey Fats. Why couldn’t he have stayed gone, Gorilla.
OK, we understand that they’re ready backstage, so let’s go to Michael Muffer!
Bathroom Break Match for the Montego Bay AlcoholicWeight Championship: Relegate Hunter V. TTS ©
TTS, Relegate Hunter, a referee, a camera man, and Michael Muffer are standing in a bathroom.
The following contest is set for one fall, and it is a Bathroom Break Match, for the Montego Bay AlcoholicWeight Championship. Introducing first, to my right, he is the challenger. He hails from Brighton, England, and weighs in tonight at 190 pounds. Relegate Hunter!
And his opponent. From Davie, Florida, weighing in at 290 pounds, he is the reigning and defending Montego Bay AlcoholicWeight Champion, T!T!S!
The referee steps in between them and delivers some pre-match instructions, before signaling for the match to begin.
TTS and Hunter tie up, and TTS backs Hunter up against the sink. Hunters shoves him away. They lock up again, and the same thing. A third time, but Hunter grabs TTS and rams his head against the sink, then snap suplexes him. Cover.
1
Kickout.
TTS get’s up, but Hunter armdrag’s him, then dropkick’s him as he sit’s up. Cover.
1
Kickout.
Hunter grabs a trashcan, and goes to hit TTS with it, but TTS kick’s Hunter in the midsection, and hit’s a lifting DDT. Cover.
1
2
Kickout.
TTS takes off his belt, and whips Hunter with it. Hunter screams out in pain, and TTS then wraps the belt around Hunter’s throat, trying to choke him out. Hunter somehow manages to force TTS off of him, but TTS resumes whipping TTS with his belt. He wraps the belt around his fist, and pulls Hunter up, only to fell him with a big right hand. Cover.
1
2
Kickout!
TTS grabs the trashcan, and nails Hunter with it. Cover!
1!
2!
KICKOUT!!!!
TTS tosses Hunter into the handicap stall. He get’s a running start, and goes for a leg lariat, but Hunter moves, and TTS ends up with his foot stuck in the toilet! Hunter grabs the trashcan and starts hammering TTS with it while he’s stuck. Finally, Hunter clothesline’s TTS, getting his foot unstuck in the process. Cover!
1!
2!
KICKOUT!!!
Hunter pulls TTS up, and goes for the Dentist’s Dream, but TTS counters it into Pileup! Cover!
1!
2!
3!
Here is your winner, and STILL Montego Bay AlcoholicWeight Champion, T!T!S!
The referee raises TTS’s arm, but TTS pulls it away. He opens the door to leave, but when he does, Whitey Fats tackles him, and the two trade punches on the bathroom floor. The referee tries to separate them, but when he pulls Whitey off, TTS takes advantage, and nails Whitey with a discus clothesline and takes back his title belt. TTS walks over to the sink, washes his hands, and exits, as the referee and Relegate Hunter check on Whitey.
Well, TTS retains, but the real story is-
The real story, Gorilla, is that Whitey Fats once again stuck his nose where it didn’t belong! I hope The Sam does something about this!
Well, nonetheless, let’s move on. Up next, the finals of Seth Drakin’s Tournament of Honor, pitting Tyfo against grbjazzman!
Tournament of Honor Finals: Tyfo V. grbjazzman
The following contest is the finals of Seth Drakin’s Tournament of Honor. It is set for one fall, with a 30 minute time limit.
*New Blackjacks Theme*
Introducing first, from Dallas, Texas, weighing in at 245 pounds, and representing WWCF Corporate, TYFO!!!
Tyfo slowly walks to the ring, jawing with the fans along the way. A fireball pyro goes off, and Tyfo goes to all four corners, doing the Longhorn salute.
*Sing, Sang, Sung*
And his opponent, from Fulton, New York, weighing in at 206 pounds, grbjazzman!
Jazzman struts to the ring, and poses for the crowd, before giving his fedora to a child in the front row. He reenters, and the bell rings.
The match starts with the two combatants staring each other down, before locking up in the middle. Tyfo gets the early advantage with a headlock, but Jazzman quickly escapes by throwing Tyfo off of him. He lies down to avoid Tyfo on the rebound, jumping over him on the next pass and finally hitting an arm drag on the Corporate Pain Train. Tyfo quickly gets up but walks into another arm drag which Jazzman holds into an arm bar.
Tyfo quickly makes it back to his feet and tries to reverse the arm bar into a Northern Lights Suplex, but Jazzman counters with a knee to the gut and a swinging neckbreaker. Jazzman seems to have Tyfo under his control, but when he goes to lift Tyfo up, he gets tripped into the corner, his head mashing against the turnbuckle. Taking advantage, Tyfo hits a quick german suplex and bridges for a pin.
1.....2.Jazzman gets out of the pin.
Tyfo quickly gets to his feet, not letting frustration take over. He lifts Jazzman up and throws him into the turnbuckle. Charging at him he attempts to clothesline Jazzman but he dodges and Tyfo runs head first into the turnbuckle. Quickly turning around Jazzman gives Tyfo a vicious uppercut, followed by standing on the second rope and 10-punching Tyfo, the crowd counting it out.
After the 10-punch, Jazzman delivers a quick DDT but when he goes for the pin the ref notices Tyfo's foot is under the bottom rope. Jazzman gets off Tyfo and picks him up, putting him chest-first into the turnbuckle. He goes to the opposite corner and charges at Tyfo, attempting to make him Take the A Train. However Tyfo gets out of the way and Jazzman connects with his shins on the turnbuckle, before bouncing off painfully and slamming against the mat. Tyfo quickly tries to pin him.
1.....2....Jazzman just barely kicks out!
Tyfo is frustrated, thinking he had the win. He argues with the ref for a minute before heading back to Jazzman and stomping on him repeatedly until the ref has to pull him away from Jazzman. Tyfo breaks the ref's grip on him and goes back to Jazzman. Lifting him up, and moving him to the corner. He sets up Jazzman to hit the Tumbleweed. Jazzman however counters when he goes for the move, and instead dazes Tyfo with a couple quick shots. He climbs to the top rope, lifting Tyfo with him, and with the crowd looking on in anticipation, Jazzman hits Tyfo with Such Sweet Thunder. The two men lie motionless in the ring.
After some time passes Jazzman finally climbs to Tyfo to make the pin.
1.....2....Tyfo just gets his shoulder up.
The stress and frustration is evident in Jazzman's face, seemingly angry at himself. He lifts Tyfo up but Tyfo counters with a kick to the gut and a DDT. Tyfo moves to the lower body of Jazzman and locks in The Texas Cloverleaf. Jazzman screams in pain as he desperately tries to crawl to a rope to break the hold. However once he gets close, Tyfo moves him back to the middle. Jazzman looks close to tapping, but he wills himself back to the ropes and grabs it. Tyfo extremely reluctantly breaks the hold. He looks at the broken man in front of him and taunts him. He picks up Jazzman and looks to be wanting to end the match. He throws Jazzman into the corner and charges him. Jazzman wisely moves out of the way at the last second and Tyfo hits the turnbuckle again. Jazzman delivers a dropkick to the back of Tyfo pushing him back into the corner. Jazzman quickly makes Tyfo Take the A Train and goes for the pin.
1.....2.....3! And the match is over!
Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match, GRBJAZZMAN!!!!
Jazzman raises his arms, and turns towards the entrance, where Seth Drakin is standing. Jazzman points at Seth, and motions that the Championship of Honor will soon be his.
What a match! Congratulations to grbjazzman on winning this tournament!
And you have to give Tyfo credit, Gorilla. He hung in there longer than a lot of folks expected him to!
Indeed. Stellar performance from both men. Next up, folks, is Above Average defending the Inter-Forum Championship against Doley. Fred G. Neric is backstage with both men. Fred?
Above Average, Doley. Your match is up next. Let’s find out what type of match you will be competing in.
*G. Neric spins the wheel, and it lands on…*
A Forklift Chambers of Doom 49ers Match!
Whoa! This is gonna be a wild one Jess!
They’re already drivin’ the forklifts out to ringside!
Here’s how it works, folks. There are for forklifts at ringside, and each one has chamber on it. The Inter-Forum Championship belt is in one of those chambers. To unlock the chambers, they need to climb the pole and grab the key. Whoever get’s the belt is the winner.
Let’s go to the ring!
Forklift 49ers Match for the Inter-Forum Championship: Doley V. Above Average ©
The following match is the Forklift 49ers Match for the Inter-Forum Championship. To win the competitors must climb one of the four poles surrounding the ring and take hold of the key at the top. They must then use the key to unlock one of the chambers on top of one of the forklifts to retrieve the belt and win the match. Only one chamber holds the belt, the others hold other items that may be used in the course of the match.
Introducing first-
*Man With A Plan plays on the PA as Doley struts down to the ring, taunting the nearby fans*
-Coming in at 5'9, he weighs in tonight at 260 pounds. Rese is the man they call Doley.
*Doley makes his way in the ring and climbs the turnbuckle, looking smugly at the fans*
And his opponent-
*Poison begins on the PA and Above Average wearing his WWCF Tag Team Title walks down*
Michael Muffer - Coming in at 6'6 and weighing in at 260 pounds. He is one half of the WWCF Tag Team Champions and the definding Inter-Forum Champion, Double A, Above Average.
*Above Average makes his way into the ring and stands by the turnbuckle opposite Doley. Both look around and assess the situation.*
To win this match one of the competitors must beat his opponent enough so they can climb up one of the surrounding poles and take the key. Then they must climp up to one of the forklifts positioned in the corner and using their key open the chamber which they hope will contain the WWCF Inter-Forum Title.
It's not going to be easy Gorilla. You have to keep your opponent down for a long time to do all that. It'll be interesting to see what both guys do to try and keep on top of things.
The referee is explaining the rules to both competitors and we hope to start this match soon.
Double A hands his WWCF Tag Title to the ref who makes his way across the ring to place it on the time keepers table. Doley quickly snatches the belt and rushes his opponent, striking him hard with the belt, laying him out.
What a cheap and dirty tactic from the challenger.
I think it's smart Gorilla. He knows he needs all the opportunities he can get. It's called being opportunistic.
You can call it whatever you want, but the Champion looks to be in bad form here.
Let's see exactly how much metal he really has.
Doley rushes to the nearest pole and begins climbing. He reaches the top and grabs the key. He shimmies down and quickly reaches the nearest corner and opens up the chamber. He reaches in and brings out... an enlarged, hand painted portrait of John S. Amigo.
He stares at the portrait for a while before remembering the match at hand. He jumps down and noticing Double A stirring rushed over to the next closest pole. He shimmies up and quickly grabs the key on top. He slides down and begins climbing up to the next forklift. He places the key in the lock and opens it. Before he can bring anything out, a revived but bloody Above Average pounds him on the back. He then positions himself beneath Doley and delivers a sit out powerbomb. Double A slowly stirs and crawls back to his feet. He looks back towards the opened chamber and begins slowly climbing up to it. He reaches the top and sticks his hand in as Doley, back to his feet climbs up behind him and clubs him. Doley reaches in but is stopped by a well times punch to the ribs. Double A reaches in but is stopped again by Doley. Doley connects with a stiff punch to Double A's open head. Double A struggles to keep on balance. Doley delivers a series of strikes to Double A causing him to collapse down to the mat. Doley looks down to Double A and delivers a moonsault. He then climbs back up to the open box, sticks his hand in and brings out... a Yogi Bear doll.
Doley tears the head off the doll in frustration and jumps back down to the mat. He stomps Double A a little and pushes him out of the ring. He approaches another pole and begins climbing. He reaches the top and grabs the key. Double A, is back to his feet outside and slowly crawls back inside unbeknown to Doley. Doley makes his way to the next forklift and fumbles with the lock. Double A climbs up behind Doley, grabs Doley in a rear waist lock and delivers a huge German Suplex from the top. Doley flips over from the force landing face first. Double A grabs the key from the mat and climbs up to the forklift. He opens up the chamber and finds... a live badger.
The badger bites Double A's hand who quickly drops it to the mat. It scurries over to the fallen Doley and begins attacking him. Doley leaps to his feet and comically runs around the ring as the badger gives chase. Double A still on the top rope looks towards the next and last pole and balances his way across the top rope to it. He climbs up and grabs the key. He slides his way down and balances his way to the final forklift. In the ring, Doley desperately punts the badger out into the crowd and turns to see Double A about the unlock the final chamber. He rushes over and grabs Double A's tights, pulling him to the mat. He desperately climbs up and tries to open the chamber. Double A tries to intervene but is kicked away by Doley. Doley unlocks the chamber and sticks his hand in. Double A kicks the top rope, causing Doley to lose his balance and crotch himself. Double A climbs up behind Doley and reaches in but is stopped by an elbow to the ribs. Doley climbs up and reaches in but Double A grabs his hand. Both struggle with one another. Double A wraps his free arm around Doley's neck and locks in a modified Dragon Sleeper. Doley desperately tries to free himself and delivers some stiff punishes to Double A's crimson forehead. The punches slowly begin to weaken as Doley's body becomes limp. Double A releases the hold letting Doley's limp body drop to the mat. He composes himself and reaches in the chamber, bringing out the WWCF Inter-Forum Championship.
The winner of this match, and still WWCF Inter-Forum Champion, Above Average.
Double A slowly makes his way down from the turnbuckle, using the ropes for leverage. He slowly rolls out of the ring and grabs his tag belt. He makes his way to the back, raising his title triumphantly. A paramedic team make their way out and check up on Doley.
An impressive win from Above Average.
I'll admit it Gorilla, he showed exactly what he was made out of here.
Can anyone stop the momentum of our Inter-Forum Champion?
*words appear on the screen*
Hip Hop is a state of mind
Never underestimate what the mind can do
*Clips of riots start playing, while in the background plays "One Mic" from Nas*
Me:
You'll never see me coming, but you better start running
Camouflaged by day, at night I’m like the joker, it's so funny
How people think they can take me on at my game
My name doesn't matter, what does is my sane
and conscious rhymes, a message in your mind
Opening up your eyes, when you were oh so blind
I'm from the streets, I'm saying nothing that is new
But just ask yourself this, will I be coming after you?
Cage King
Coming Soon
Folks, Cage King is just one of several new Superstars on their way to the WWCF!
Gorilla, what a show we’ve had so far!
And it’s not over yet Jess. Next up, Koda challenges Viva Los Bio Dome for the WWCF Heatz!!1 Championship!
Fred G. Neric, Koda, and Viva are backstage by the Wheel.
Gentlemen, your match is up next. Let’s see what type of match you will be in.
*G. Neric spins the wheel*
Gentlemen, you will be competing in a Great Escape Match! Back to ringside!
Great Escape Match for the Heatz!!1 Championship: Koda V. Viva Los Bio Dome ©
We are shown a brief promo showing the war these two have been through. Two vicious title fights, countless matches.
*Agent of Chaos*
From The City of Gotham, Weighing in at 223 pounds, Koda!
Koda walks to the ring, laughing maniacally, until he sees the cage. Koda slowly enters the ring, and waits for his opponent.
*The Safety Dance*
Out of Hayward, Calfornia, Weighing in at 185 pounds, iViva Los Bio Dome!
Viva enters through a cloud of purple smoke, but there’s no dancing tonight. He’s deadly serious, as he enters the ring.
Gorilla:Okay, King. Let's make sure the fans know what the object of "The Great Escape" is.
What I've been told back stage, Gorilla, is that
there will be a cage with a roof on it, and a Cell over it. In order to win, you must grab the key hanging from the roof of the inner cage, unlock the door, and climb out. But that's just part one. Then, you have to climb to the top of the inner cage, grab the second key, and exit the cell. After that, you must climb to the top of the Cell and take a zip line down over the prison wall on the ramp to the stage. You could literally say there are 3 keys to victory in this one, Gorilla. Obtain the two keys, and zip line over the wall, and you win.
*Looks at King with a confused face.* Well, thanks for clearing that up. I guess we'll just have to watch the action unfold in the ring.
*The bell rings*
Instantly, Koda lunges at Viva and nails him with a stiff right hand. Viva shakes it off, and plants Koda hard with a vicious DDT. Koda begins laughing. Viva kicks him in the stomach. Koda is now cracking up. Koda starts getting up and Viva again nails him with a wicked kick in the midsection. Koda stops laughing for a split second, gathers some air, and again begins laughing. At this point, Koda is back on his feet, and Viva is scared s***less. Viva begins cowering backwards. Koda is still laughing uncontrollably. Viva is pinned against the cage and Koda is now reaching in to his jacket. Out comes his Jokers venom which hits Viva smack in the eyes. Koda then hits him with the Killing Joke. Viva is out, and Koda begins scaling the inside cage for the first key.
Koda is now grabbing at the key, and he has it! He begins climbing down the cage, and Viva is still in a state of blindness. He's slowly regaining his vision, and Koda is already out of the first gate and scaling the cell. He's almost there and now Viva is following him. Viva is climbing the cell behind him now, and Koda is already unlatching that second key. Viva has now caught up, and they begin trading haymakers for the second key. Koda is gaining the upperhand when Viva hits him with a solid clothesline. Viva unlatches the second key and starts making his way down the outside of the inner cage.
Koda is hot on his heels at this point. They both begin fighting as Viva struggles to unlock the cell. Viva turns around and drop kicks him, and follows it up with a standing frog splash. Viva has now unlocked the cell and turns around focuses back in on Koda. He lifts Koda up and nails him with the Purple Sticky Punch. Feeling confident, Viva now walks outside of the Cell to begin climbing to the zip line.
He's halfway up the cell and Koda is now coming to his senses...
He's now three quarters up the wall, and Koda is just now starting his climb...
Viva is now on top of the cell, and Koda is only half way up...
Viva is now jumping for the zipline, he's got it. He's beginning his descent...
Koda lunges off of the cage and grabs Viva's legs!!! They are BOTH ziplining towards the finish!
Koda is climbing up viva! Koda has taken charge of the zipline and is now kicking Viva! Koda takes one huge swing of his legs and jumps over the wall for the win! Viva is right behind him, but Koda's feet touched on the other side of the wall first, making him our winner and now Two time Heatz!!1 Champion!
Viva Los Bio Dome is visibly upset, but after getting up, extends his hand out to Koda. Koda looks down at his hand, and shakes it.
BUZZ!!!!
King! He's done it again! He just buzzed Viva with his handshake buzzer!
The camera pans from Koda to Viva, and we see Viva on the floor, laughing uncontrollably.
*Aaron is seen in his study, going through some final preparations. He begins to talk without looking at the camera*
Tonight is the night I have been waiting for. Tonight I get my first real shot at taking a chunk out of Corporate in the form of M.O.P. Believe me when I say that I will be the one standing when our match is decided.
*Aaron turns to address the camera*
Now, I know normally when I speak, I love to use colorful and verbose language to sometimes confuse people that may interpret what I say wrongly, such as Sam did when he got Timmy and his family involved in this. I can safely say I won't be doing that tonight, for now is not the time for words. Tonight it is time for actions, and M.O.P., you will Know Your Enemy, even if the Head Detective himself has to beat it into your skull. Tonight the vendetta continues, and I'm blazing down the warpath!
Last Man Standing Match: Aaron Enigma V. M.O.P.
Up next folks is the Last Man Standing match between MOP and Aaron Enigma. This has been one of the hottest feuds of the past few months and tonight it all comes to a head with this, a Last Man Standing match.
You know Tim, this feud has seen it all. But tonight it’s not about Fans or Loyalty or Lies or Truth or Corporate or Story. Tonight, only thing matters for either individual. Who will stand and who will fall?
The following contest is a Last Man Standing match. And here are the rules. There are No DQ, No Holds Barred and No Limits. This match must be won by beating your opponent until they are incapacitated and cannot reach a 10 count. The Last Man Standing will be the Winner.
Introducing first,( Judas Priest's "Painkiller.")
At the height of 6’1, weighing in at 232 lbs. from F’N Jersey. Representing WWCF Corporate, accompanied by the WWCF Executive The Sam. M.O.P.!!!
(MOP marches towards the ring with The Sam in tow looking completely focused)
There is no way to tell who could win this match Tim, anything could happen. But I might have to give MOP the nod because he has The Sam in his corner. And The Sam can use his influence as a WWCF Executive to sway this match in MOP’s favour.
You may be a kiss ass Jesse, but you also might be correct. If that “Platypus” has his way he could ruin this match for everyone.
(Muffer is seen receiving a note from an agent)
Ladies and Gentlemen, I have just been informed that Commissioner John Amigo has banned The Sam from ringside and has asked that The Sam be escorted from ringside back to his locker room. If The Sam refuses to comply he will be FIRED.
(The Sam looks shocked and angry and starts berating Muffer. Some agents come out trying to escort The Sam from the ring but The Sam squeals and holds the ropes as the agents play tug of war with The Sam who looks like he is about to cry. Eventually The Sam lets go of the rope and is sent kicking and screaming back to the locker room)
How dare they treat the WWCF Executive in such fashion?
Now this match is fair Jesse. I hope that Platypus stays away from this ring forever. Now we can find out who truly is the best man.
And his opponent.
(Know Your Enemy by Rage Against the Machine)
At the height of 6’3, weighing in at 256 lbs. currently residing in Chicago, Illinois. Representing The Story. Head Detective Aaron Enigma!!!
Muffer barely makes it through his introduction before Aaron runs to ringside. MOP runs the ropes and out of nowhere hits a dive through the ropes straight on top of Aaron Enigma. The bell sounds and this match starts with stiff fists flying outside the ring. It is a brawl for the first 5 minutes. MOP knees Aaron in the mid section before rolling him back into the ring. As MOP climbs back into the ring Aaron runs up and DDT’s MOP through the ropes.
Instead of going for a 10 count however Aaron starts beating MOP within an inch of his life with kicks and punches. MOP manages to slide himself out of the ring where he grabs Aaron’s legs and drags him to the turnbuckle post. MOP is standing on the outside of the ring while Aaron lays helpless in the corner of the ring with his legs on either side of the turnbuckle pole. MOP then locks on a figure four-leg lock around the post Bret Hart style.
MOP lets go of the lock and grabs a steel chair. With Aarons legs still draped around the pole MOP swings at Aarons legs hoping to crush them between the pole and the chair. But Aaron pulls himself back into the ring as MOP smashes a chair into the pole missing Aaron’s legs but hurting his hands.
Aaron takes advantage of this opportunity. Aaron stands up and grabs the ropes. Aaron flips himself to the outside where MOP catches him in a power bomb chairlift. Aaron however locks his legs tight around MOP’s head and delivers a hurracunrana to MOP on the outside.
Aaron hurt his knee with that move and both men are down for the count.
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both men get to their feet and begin brawling again. MOP ducks a punch and gets behind Aaron Enigma. MOP chop blocks Aarons knee sending him down. MOP clears the announce table before rolling Aaron on top of the table. MOP climbs up and calls for the Corporate Driver. MOP lifts Aaron on to his shoulders but Aaron slips out and behind MOP and Aaron delivers his finishing move, the Brilliant Deduction, through the announce table.
Both men are down. MOP is suffering head trauma and Aaron’s knees are almost done. The referee starts a 10 count as the fans start a “Holy S***” chant
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MOP is up first as Aaron is crawling towards the ring. MOP kicks Aaron in the ribs before picking him up and rolling him back into the ring. MOP looks underneath the ring and pulls out a table and sets it up outside the ring next to the apron. MOP climbs onto the apron. Aaron approaches MOP and MOP delivers a shoulder to the mid section of Aaron. MOP still standing on the apron locks his arms around Aaron’s head and attempts to suplex Aaron over the top rope and through the table. But Aaron sandbags him and Aaron attempts to suplex MOP into the ring. Aaron’s legs are weak however and it ends up being more of a Vertical Suplex DDT.
Both men are out of it after that but MOP manages to get up to his feet despite having a concussion. MOP stomps away on Aaron’s knees and legs. MOP starts taunting the fans as Aaron still laying on the mat reaches into his pocket and pulls out a magnifying glass. MOP walks over to Aaron and tries to get him to his feet, but Aaron smashes the magnifying glass across MOP’s face. Sending
MOP across the ring with a crimson mask as the referee starts a 10 count.
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both men slide outside the ring and grab a steel chair each. They get back into the ring and see each other with steel chair in hand. They continue to look at each other. Aaron lets out a primal scream and MOP lets out a primal scream as well. This is a showdown at the OK Corral, 2 men, 2 chairs, and 1 winner.
Both men pull back and swing.
MOP whacks Aaron Enigma in the legs as Aaron Enigma whacks MOP across the head. Both men are down. The referee begins a 10 count.
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Aaron Enigma grabs the ropes and pulls himself up.
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The winner of this match, AARON ENIGMA!
Both men receive a standing ovation from the fans. Aaron taunts the crowd as MOP is helped to his feet by the referee. MOP pushes the referee back and gets in Aarons face. Both men stare at each other. Aaron pulls his hand up for a handshake.
MOP looks at the crowd. MOP looks at Aaron. All of a sudden TTS runs out to the ring and tries to clothesline Aaron. Aaron ducks and hits TTS with the “Brilliant Deduction”. Outcomes Starshine followed by Tyfo and Cthulu. They begin beating away on Aaron Enigma. Out come Boiler Room Brawler and The Sam.
The Sam yells at each of his men to beat down Aaron. MOP pulls them back however. MOP approaches a fallen Aaron and grabs his head. MOP looks up and smiles before telling everyone to grab a limb each.
Each member of Corporate has a limb. They count to 3 and throw Aaron Enigma into the air and to the table, which is still outside the ring, Spirit Squad style. Aaron smashes through the table as paramedics rush to make sure he is ok.
Corporate lift MOP onto their shoulders and head back to the locker room, they may have lost the battle but they have won the war.
Why can’t M.O.P. grow up, and take a loss like a man?! This was simply uncalled for!
Gorilla, it’s all about showing Aaron Enigma who has the real power around here. Maybe he’ll think twice before he goes after Corporate again!
Well, up next, LittleNaitch defends the WWCF World Championship against King Motor-Colt and Cthulhu. A lot has happened between these three men, leading up to this, a Triple Threat Match for the WWCF World Championship. Let’s go to G. Neric backstage.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached our main event. In a few moments, LittleNaitch puts the WWCF World Championship on the line. Let’s see what kind of match it’s going to be!
*G. Neric spins the wheel for the final time*
A Barbed Wire Hell Match! Put the kids to bed, folks! This won’t be for the weak of heart!
Folks, this match could be the most brutal match in WWCF history. A cage, constructed completely out of barbed wire. No escape, no count outs, no disqualifications. Pinfall or submission is the only way to win.
This is going to violent and bloody. I can’t wait!
Well you won’t have to wait for long. Let’s go to the ring!
Barbed Wire Hell Match for the WWCF World Championship: King Motor-Colt V. Chtulhu V. LittleNaitch ©
The barbed wire cage has been lowered over the cage, leaving just enough room for the entrants to get in.
*Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann OST*
Cthulhu slowly walks to the ring, carrying his electric guitar, as the lights go off around him.
The lights go dark.
*It’s Hard To Speak Without A Tongue*
Smoke clouds the entrance way, as the lights come up. Motor-Colt is standing at the top of the stage, his head down. He raises one finger to the crowd, and makes his way to the ring.
*New Blackjacks Theme*
LittleNaitch makes his way to the ring, wearing a robe. He opens it to reveal the WWCF World Championship belt.
Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Barbed Wire Hell match set for one fall, and it is for the WWCF World Heavyweight Championship!
Introducing first. From WWCF Headquarters, weighing in at 180 pounds, representing WWCF Corporate, Cthulhu!
Cthulhu steps forward and raises his guitar in the air, as the crowd boos.
Next, from Adelaide, Australia, weighing in at 247 pounds, he represents The Story, he is King Motor-Colt!
Motor-Colt steps forward and raise one finger to the crowd, who give a huge pop for him.
And, from Las Vegas, weighing in at 235 pounds, he represents WWCF Corporate. He is the reigning and defending WWCF World Heavyweight Champion. Ladies and gentlemen, LittleNaitch!
Naitch raises the title belt, and receives a mixed response from the crowd.
The referee shows the belt to all three men, then holds it up for the crowd. The bell rings.
Colt extends a hand to Naitch, who accepts it. Cthulhu runs over and starts punching both men, but they work together to fight him off, before turning to each other. Naitch and Colt tie up, and Naitch takes Colt to the mat with double leg take down, and immediately starts working over the leg. Cthulhu runs over and dropkick’s Naitch in the back of the leg. The champ drops to one knee, and Cthulhu headbutt’s him in the back of the head. He then picks up the Champ, and tosses him into the side of the cage.
That’s gotta hurt!
Remember folks, that cage is made entirely out of barbed wire!
Cthulhu grind’s Naitch’s head against the wire, but Colt quickly dropkick’s Cthulhu, knocking him into the wire as well. Colt grabs Cthulhu from behind, and nails a German suplex, and bridges up.
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Kickout.
Colt DDT’s Cthulhu and covers him again.
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Kickout.
Colt tries to snap suplex Cthulhu, but it’s reversed into single knee facebreaker! Cover!
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It’s broken up by a bloodied LittleNaitch!
Naitch unleashes a flurry of chops on Cthulhu, backing him up against the cage. Colt charges at both men, but Naitch moves, and Cthulhu ducks, and back body drop’s Colt into the side of the cage! Naitch body slam’s Cthulhu and covers him.
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Kickout.
Naitch grab’s Cthulhu’s leg, and applies a single leg crab. Cthulhu struggles, but is able to power out of the hold. Naitch goes for a kneedrop, but Cthulhu moves. He quickly nails the Champion with Japanese Ocean Cyclone suplex and covers him.
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Colt breaks up the pin.
Colt pulls Cthulhu up and suplexes him into the side of the cage. Cover.
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Kickout. Cthulhu gouges Colt’s eyes, and begins climbing up the cage!
Has Cthulhu lost his mind?! That cage is made of barbed wire!
No fear, Gorilla. That’s the name of the game.
Colt follows Cthulhu, and the two trade punches at the top. Cthulhu climbs over, and Colt follows suit, as the two fight their way down to the floor. Naitch sees this, and tries to follow, but touches the wire and pulls his hand back. He sees Cthulhu and Colt fighting on the floor, takes a deep breath, and begins his climb. On the floor, Cthulhu nails Colt with a chairshot, and throws him against the crowd control barrier. He charges, but Colt ducks, and drops Cthulhu over the barrier. He turns just in time to see Naitch come flying off the cage at him. Naitch hit’s his target, knocking Colt THROUGH the barricade!
All three men are down, as the crowd is on their feet in amazement.
This is unbelievable, Jess! I have never seen anything like this in my life!
And neither have these fan, Gorilla!
Cthulhu is up first, and he grabs a beer can off the floor, and crushes it against Naitch’s head. He pulls Colt off the floor, and tosses him against the side of the cage, and nails him with a running headbutt. Cthulhu grabs the ring bell, and goes to nail Colt with it, but Colt hit’s a kick to the midsection, causing Cthulhu to drop the bell. Colt snap suplexes Cthulhu on the floor, then reaches under the ring, and pulls out a pair of wire cutters! Colt begins cutting through the cage, but Naitch nails him from behind with a chop block. Naitch picks up the wire cutters, and finishes cutting a hole in the cage. He crawls back in, and pulls Colt in after him. Naitch stomps Colt’s leg a few times, then locks in the Figure 4!
Figure 4! This is the move Naitch used to win the title in the first place!
Colt struggles, but before he can tap, Cthulhu smashes his guitar over Naitch’s head, breaking up the hold! He covers Colt.
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KICKOUT!!!!
Cthulhu chokes Colt, then pulls him up for the Death Magnetic, but Colt counters it into a victory roll!
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KICKOUT!!!!
Colt and Cthulhu are both up. Cthulhu goes for a headbutt, but Colt counters it into jawbreaker! Colt quickly follows up with a Million Dollar Kneelift, then a running neckbreaker! Cover!
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KICKOUT!!!!
Colt goes up top for the flying forearm, but Cthulhu counters with a lariat! Both men are down, as Naitch is on his feet. Surveying the situation, Naitch quickly goes to the top rope, and hit’s an elbow drop on Colt! Cover!
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Cthulhu pulls Naitch off!
Cthulhu goes for a lariat, but Naitch ducks, and slingshot’s Cthulhu into the side of the cage, and follows up with a neckbreaker! COVER!!!
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Here is your winner, and STILL WWCF World Heavyweight Champion, LITTLENAITCH!!!!
The referee hands the belt to Naitch, who is drenched in blood. He holds the belt up high, as medical attendants run out to check on everyone.
What a match that was, Gorilla!
An amazing match, Jess! LittleNaitch is still the WWCF World Champion!
But you have to give credit to all three of them for that amazing effort! What a match! What a show!
It has been an incredible night, folks! We’ve seen new champions, new rivalries start, old ones end, and some amazingly brutal matches! I’m Gorilla Tim Hoss.
And I’m Jesse King.
Good night folks!
Match writing credits: Evil M, Aaron Enigma, Starshine, Viva Los Bio Dome, and The Sam.
Hype video by Cageking.
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